Heist
by cheekymice
Summary: Set post finale. A trip out for lunch does not go to plan. They thought spending more time with Ryan would help him but they didn't mean for this.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Heist.  
**Rating: **Um…PG13-R  
**Beta:** None. Melly is snowed under.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.  
**Story:** All in the title really. Set post finale.  
**Notes:** As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay!

**Heist**

Ryan screwed his eyes up against the sun and lent his head back against the glass.

"How long have they been gone now?" Seth asked.

"Two minutes since you last asked." Ryan replied without looking at him.

"Are you sure 'cause it seems longer."

"I'm sure. Although you're right… it does seem longer with you asking the time every other second." Ryan added under his breath but Seth was now peering through the window like a kid staring into a candy shop, his hands cupped around his face and not paying any attention.

"They said they wouldn't be long." Seth whined.

"It's been less than ten minutes Seth…hardly an eternity." Ryan watched a woman as she tried to cram a dozen bags of shopping into the trunk of a Mercedes whilst yelling her husband or boyfriend who stood by and fiddled with his cell phone. He could relate, the heat was making him feel cranky and it was all he could do not to yell at Seth to grow up.

"But ten minutes when I'm hungry is a lifetime. Lunch they said… running errands was not mentioned at any point. Standing outside the bank for hours was not part of the contract Ryan."

Ryan watched as the car speed off, music blazing but the woman could still be heard screeching at the top of her voice. He wished he'd stayed at home but that was not an option, the look in Sandy's eye had told him so when he'd started to open his mouth to bail on the so called family fun day. Since the …accident they had not let him alone for longer than an hour it seemed. Not that he wasn't grateful for the support they had given him since the…accident but he resented the implication that he somehow now couldn't be trusted on his own, when he'd tried to voice his thoughts on the matter Sandy and Kirsten had given him 'the look' and Ryan had slunk off back to the temporary safety of his room.

"I'm going in." Seth blurted out dragging him from his thoughts.

"Seth, they're in the bank probably doing private bank stuff. Leave them be."

"They're just stood in line…a very long line I might add." Seth peered back through the window. "Air con, they will have air con…bake out here if you want but I'm going in."

Seth made for the door and opened. "You coming?"

Ryan continued to stare in front of him until he heard the door shut. The first week after…Seth had been great but now four weeks later he seemed to think everything was back to normal.

It wasn't.

No one even mentioned her anymore. It was like she had been completely wiped out of Newport history. Ryan couldn't make them see that he wanted to remember, he wanted to talk about her but whenever he mentioned her name they all got 'the look' again, even Summer. He supposed that because he was usually never forthcoming about opening up in the past they viewed it as a product of his fragile mental state. Maybe it was just how they did things in Newport but in Chino where there had been a large Latino community, you celebrated the lives of the dead, you did not sweep them under the carpet like a dirty secret. The only person who seemed to understand this was Kaitlin and he'd been told gently but firmly by Julie to give her space to grieve with her family. In other words 'please get the fuck away from my remaining daughter'.

Ryan watched as a battered Camero pulled up over the street into the recently vacated parking spot and sat with the engine running whilst they talked. They seemed to be arguing amongst themselves, maybe it was something about that spot or maybe it was the fact it was more than a hundred in the shade today and it wasn't even noon yet. Fuck it was hot. Ryan wiped his brow and turned to look in the window of the bank. It did look cool in there and his tee was beginning to stick to every contour of his chest. He gave in and opened the door.

Ryan stood near one of the tables that lined the walls and took a deep breath of the cooled filtered air. Bliss. A security guard looked bored as he stared off into space, probably wishing he were anywhere else than here. Ryan could relate to that also.

Ryan glanced over at the huge line that Seth had whined about, it was in fact very modest. Sandy and Kirsten were third from the front behind an elderly woman with powder blue hair wearing a pink velour leisure suit, a dour looking man who chewed his cuticles and looked like his job, wife and kids had sucked the soul clear outta him and a businessman in a dark pinstripe suit that must be hell in this weather. Behind Kirsten and Sandy stood Seth who was talking animatedly as usual, a woman who had the skin the color of hot mocha, a rather sexy looking lady who lunched and a heavily tanned guy wearing an obnoxiously loud Hawaiian shirt and shorts. It was certainly an eclectic subsection of Newport society.

Sandy noticed him and waved him over. Ryan chose to pretend that he hadn't seen instead he watched a harassed looking middle aged woman to the left of him wrestle with the contents her purse. She piled up used tissues, make up and torn envelopes onto the table in front of her, she eventually pulled out her wallet almost triumphantly. Ryan winced as coins scattered across the floor from the open zip. The woman ended up juggling with her bag as she strived to catch everything at once. She failed and the bag ended up on the floor with the coins, depositing the rest of its contents. She stood and looked like she was going to cry. Ryan felt sorry for her as all eyes turned her way including the Cohens'; he rushed over and started to help her pick up the detritus of her bag. She thanked him profusely like he was laying his cloak over a muddy puddle or had just slain a dragon for her. All he was doing was picking up coins and…tampons. Ryan flushed and thrust the offended items into her hands. What was it with him and picking up feminine hygiene products? She took them from his hands without being the remotest bit embarrassed and continued to gush about how kind he was. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Seth laughing at him, as was Sandy as they had obviously seen him wave the long white wand around in his hand. Great, they wouldn't let that drop for the rest of the afternoon. He was so busy blushing and concentrating on picking up the non-embarrassing items that he didn't notice the door open. He stood up as he handed the woman the last of her belongings. What made him look around was the loud booming voice that issued its orders.

"This is a robbery…No one trips any alarms or I will shoot you. No one moves or I will shoot you."

Two men were stood with scarves around the bottom halves of their faces but it was the guns they were waving around that really got Ryan's attention.

They split up like wolves separating a flock of sheep. They removed the guard's gun first then one made his way over to the cashiers and started ordering them to empty the drawers.

"No dye packs or alarms people. Leave the last bill in the till."

The second stayed in the centre of the room and shouted.

"Everyone put your hands behind your heads and get down on the floor."

When nobody moved he started yelling in earnest at them but still they stood rooted to the spot not quite realizing what was happening. It was unreal. No matter how many times Ryan had seen this same scene on TV shows, nothing prepared you for it in real life.

Ryan watched it unfold.

The guy in the Hawaiian shirt was the first to come to his senses and lowered himself to the ground, as did the businessman. Sandy was pulling Kirsten and Seth down to the floor next to him. Ryan caught his eye and Sandy motioned for him to get down too. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. It sounded like a cliché but it was.

The lady in the line behind Sandy and Kirsten made no attempt to move, shock…Ryan had seen it before, she started to silently cry and tremble. The man walked over to her and shoved the gun into her face, her cries increased but he paid no attention and pushed her roughly to the floor. Everyone else got the message and quickly lay down on his or her stomachs.

Ryan moved closer to the woman next to him, she stood like a statue hugging her bag to her chest. Ryan gently reached out and held onto her arm to try and pull her down before they attracted the attention of the guy on their side of the counter who was still focussing on the crying woman on the floor.

"Get down." He urged, whispering at her but she looked dumbly at him. "Please…we've got to get on the floor."

Ryan could feel Sandy's eyes on him pleading with him just to look after himself and leave this woman to whatever the fates had in store for her but that was something Ryan knew that Sandy himself would not do.

"Please." He urged again and tugged at her arm. His heart was pumping as he tried to keep his eye on both the guys with the guns. One was stuffing notes into a bag and had his back to them but the other was …turning their way.

"I told you to… get… the… fuck… down!" Each word was punctuated with a step closer.

Ohh shit. The guy was in front of them and he looked pissed. The gun came up slowly as he moved it with slow deliberation onto the bag lady.

"On the floor…now."

Ryan tugged the woman's arm hard, hoping that now she would buy a clue that they both needed to get down ASAP but she was too far-gone with fear and she started to wail clearly panicked, a high-pitched cacophony of sound that made Ryan jump.

"Please don't kill me…don't kill me…god…god…please I have children…oh god…please…please." She kept repeating herself, over and over. The guy's repeated shouting to 'get down on the fucking floor' just made her worse. She dropped her bag and all the contents flew out again, clattering around the floor of the bank.

"Don't make me shoot you, lady." The guy said. Ryan could see excitement and determination in his eyes. He was getting twitchy that his simple instructions were not being followed and that was not good.

"Leave her alone you asshole… look at her, she's scared, she's not going to do anything." It came out of Ryan's mouth before he could think through his actions. The guy got a steely look in his eyes and the gun came up level with Ryan's head. Ryan stared down the barrel. He didn't need to look over at the Cohen's to know that they were probably shitting themselves. Hell, he could hear Sandy's voice in his brain telling him that his quick temper was going to get him in serious trouble one of these days. Well, it seemed like that day might just have come.

"What did you call me?" The guys voice was cold. The sound of the hammer being pulled back echoed in the near silence of the bank. Ryan knew he'd made a mistake, a big one. He was just about to apologise, not because he really wanted to but because he thought it might be a very prudent thing to do right now.

"Stop fucking around and help me…quick." The guy by the cashiers shouted over.

Ryan didn't take his eyes off the gun so it shouldn't have come as a shock when as fast as lightning it crashed into the side of his head. The floor came up quickly to meet him as he fell to his knees, his left ear ringing and his skull complaining bitterly. He rested his forehead against the cold marble and waited for the room to stop spinning. The only good thing to come out of his actions were that the lady next to him had stopped screaming and quickly laying down on her front next to him.

Finally satisfied the guy moved away from them and joined his partner.

Ryan raised his head slightly and saw that Seth and Kirsten were looking his way; both were looking equally scared and horrified, Sandy's look he couldn't read, he thought maybe he saw disappointment. All he knew was that he was now wishing that he'd just stood over with them when he'd had the chance. The thirteen or so feet that separated them seemed like a chasm.

He felt a tentative hand touch his arm. Ryan turned his head and saw the worried face of the woman. He gave her a weak smile to let her know it was going to be okay.

They'd take the damn money and this would be all over. Ryan lowered his head back down to the floor and waited.

In a perfect world this would be put down as a five-minute adventure, a topic to talk about at dinner parties. Everyone would give relieved sighs in a moment when the bad guys left, they'd give a statement to the police after it was over and they would all go back to their respective lives. The bank would claim off their insurance. Maybe the police would catch them, maybe they wouldn't. Ryan didn't care. What he did care about was getting off the floor as quickly as possible.

Several sirens came to a screeching halt outside.

This was not a perfect world.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Heist.  
**Rating: **Um…PG13-R  
**Beta: ****loracj2**.Thanks for the huge, huge help Loracj. All remaining mistakes are due to my stupidity and nothing to do with Loracj. :)**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.**  
Story: **All in the title really. Set post finale.**  
Notes:** As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay!

**Heist.**

Chapter 2

The sounds of car doors slamming and shouting could be heard. Red and blue lights from outside filtered in through the glass.

"Thank God."

The woman lying next to Ryan whispered to herself. Ryan was glad of that because he'd hate to have to tell her that the cops showing up right now was a bad thing, a really bad thing indeed. The woman obviously had faith that the cops were going to end this right now.

Ryan knew that wasn't going to happen.

The cops wouldn't do anything unless they knew what they were dealing with, and by the time they did then it would be too late to act. All the cops had managed to do was trap them all inside with two mean assholes who had guns, and would now be beyond pissed that their get rich scheme was going to probably land them ten to twelve in the slammer. Panicked shouting from the bad guys confirmed what Ryan was thinking. They were clearly not about to surrender, and the cops would not back down.

"We have the bank surrounded. Come out with your hands behind your head." A tinny voice shouted through a megaphone.

One of the men rushed to the windows.

"Fuck…there's at least twenty cops out there …fuck. This isn't happening…we had at least five minutes. " He was almost hyperventilating.

Ryan moved his head from the crouched position he'd fallen in so he could see what was going on. The guy had figured out, as he had, that the cops arrived too quickly. It couldn't have been from the cashiers' alarm. Someone close must have turned stool pigeon. That was a problem with bottom feeders like this; they all screwed each other over. His father had learned that the hard way.

The cops issued their warning again. The men ignored it.

They'd quickly reached a stalemate and Ryan knew that each of them had now become chess pieces.

One of the guys was at the windows lowering the blinds; the other was waving his gun by the cashiers' area.

"Who's in charge here?"

No one moved. Even from where Ryan lay he could see the spittle fly out of the man's mouth in rage as he asked again.

A tall sour looking man stepped forward nervously.

"I'm the manager." He said.

"Can you lock the doors?"

The manager didn't answer immediately.

"Can you lock the fucking doors?" The man shouted the words this time. He lunged forward making everyone behind the counter jump, and dragged the scared man across the counter by the lapels of his jacket. The manager landed in a heap on the floor. He cowered there as the man asked again if he could lock the doors. One of the cashiers who stood closest started to cry; she wasn't much older than him or Seth, Ryan figured. She was a tiny blond with serious blue eyes hidden behind large spectacles and she was clearly terrified. Her parents were probably so proud that she'd landed such a respectable job. They would hear of this on the local news and quickly change their minds.

The manager came to his senses and stood up, reached under his jacket, and extracted a bunch of keys. The gun was shoved into his neck as he was marched over to the door. His hands shook as he inserted a key and pressed some numbers on the keypad on the wall.

"No other doors?" The man demanded. The manager said the other door was at the back and that was only used when there was a security van deposit. The man seemed satisfied. He pushed the manager down on the floor. The blond cashier started to hiccup as she fought to get her breath.

"Everyone shut up." The man released the manager. "Just shut up."

Ryan silently wished that the girl would find the strength to deal with this , and not draw any more attention to herself. Men like this would not be sympathetic, and the black woman on the floor was already near hysterical.

The two men huddled together. Ryan couldn't make out what they were saying but he could guess. He took the opportunity to shift positions to relieve the cramping that had already set in. He sat with his back against the table, not thinking that it might not be well received by their hosts, but his head was throbbing and it felt good to rest it against the wood. He touched just above his ear and was surprised to find that it was sticky. The gun must have broken the skin. He glanced down and saw a thin trail of blood where he'd been laying. No wonder the woman next to him was looking worried. He wasn't overly concerned though; head wounds always bleed like a bitch even though the cut might be tiny.

He used the time to check on the Cohens. They were all still lying face down, and looking his way. Ryan could make out Sandy mouthing the words 'you okay.' Ryan gave him a slight nod. Kirsten looked so pale, so did Seth. Ryan felt bad now that he'd been so pissy with Seth this morning. Suddenly the Cohen's concerned smothering didn't seem so bad under the present circumstances.

Ryan could hear them arguing now. One was blaming someone called 'Roy' for the situation; the other was defending whoever it was. From Ryan's vantage point he could see everybody in the bank. The guy in the Hawaiian shirt caught Ryan's interest, as he appeared to be signalling to the sweating man. Ryan frowned and looked over to where the men were still arguing. Something was off here. Ryan watched as the Hawaiian shirt guy slowly reached behind him and under his shirt, his eyes darting around the room, he noticed Ryan looking at him intently and they locked eyes. Ryan suddenly understood what was going down and held his breath …quick as a flash Hawaiian shirt and sweating man were on their feet with guns that had appeared from nowhere. The men swung their way just as the sweating man shouted.

"Police."

All hell broke loose.

The men started firing and people started to shout and scream in earnest.

The cashiers all ducked behind the counter.

Ryan saw one of the robbers fly backwards in a perfect arch as one of the undercover cops retaliated, arterial blood spraying everywhere.

It was surreal. It was all happening so fast.

The sweating man stood for a moment looking down at his chest almost like he couldn't believe he'd been hit. Ryan saw the spreading rose of color bloom under his tee before he slumped.

Ryan jumped and cracked his elbow sharply against the floor as a shot splintered the table right next to him. The woman next to him yelped, and scrambled to her feet. Ryan wasn't sure she even knew what she was doing. With the smell of gun smoke in the air, he launched himself forward and tackled her to the floor just as she started to blindly charge towards the front door in sheer panic. She started to scream and fight him using her fists and kicking her legs.

More shots were fired but Ryan couldn't see what was happening as he struggled to hold the woman down. He just prayed that the Cohens were keeping their heads low.

Then everything went eerily quiet.

The woman stopped struggling against him and started saying she was sorry. Ryan slowly released her and looked around his eyes searching and praying. Seth had scooted backwards so his spine was hard up against the counter, if he had been pale before, he was now officially off the scale. Sandy had blanketed Kirsten's body with his, and was just getting up to assess the damage.

The careworn man was still on the floor with his hands covering his head.

The black woman was still crying, with her eyes tightly shut. She was shaking so much that her whole body was moving.

The elderly woman was clearly shaken, but she was crawling towards the black woman. Ryan watched as she pulled her up and into her arms as she started to rub her back like you would a child.

The society lady still lay face down, with her eyes wide and staring blankly at nothing.

The businessman had followed Seth's lead, and was sitting up, leaning against the counter. He was undoing his tie and shirt button, breathing heavily.

Ryan helped the woman next to him sit up, and she clutched onto his arm as she stared at the carnage in front of them.

The guy who'd pistol-whipped him was staring at the wall, his eyes sightless, clearly dead as a viscous pool of crimson radiated out from his body.

The other robber stood like a statue watching the blood leech out of his partner.

The sweating man was lying awkwardly and also very much dead, but Hawaiian shirt was still moving. His hands were trying to grab at the marble floor and his legs were twitching. Ryan shook off the woman and slid across the floor to where he lay. He looked dumbly down at the oozing hole in the guy's torso.

"Does anyone know first aid?" Ryan called out. The security guard shook his head. Ryan did the only thing he could think of; they always did it in the movies. He pressed his hands down over the wound. Hawaiian shirt gave a strangled cry and Ryan apologized. No one else responded to his question, so he asked again. Ryan saw Sandy start to get up, and he felt relief flood his body. Sandy would know what to do. The relief vanished when the remaining bad guy chose that moment to come out of his trance and decided to take control.

"Stay where you are!" He pointed the gun at Sandy.

Ryan watched, as Sandy seemed to weigh whether or not to ignore him. Kirsten grabbed at his hand.

"Dad!" Seth pleaded. Ryan could see the fear on his face. So did Sandy and he sat down again. He looked over and Ryan saw him tilt his head as if to say 'I tried'.

"Okay…no one else move a damn muscle from now on." The man looked menacingly around the room. His eyes landed on Ryan.

"Get away from the cop."

"He's going to die." Ryan responded.

"Leave him." The man yelled, and for the second time that morning he had a gun trained on him, but the gesture had lost some of its power. It shouldn't have, seeing the bodies lying strewn across the floor. Maybe it was just brain overload.

Ryan looked down and saw that the cop was looking back at him.

"Hey…" The guy said pissed that he was being ignored but Ryan could only focus on the dying man of the floor.

"Please help me…" The words were almost inaudible. He didn't look like a cop; just like a regular guy. This man had a family somewhere, maybe kids. Someone would be waiting for him. Ryan felt sick. He kept his hands firmly pressing down. They were slick with blood now.

"He needs an ambulance." Ryan snapped back.

"That cop deserves what he gets." The man spat back at him and stepped closer. "Get away from him."

"I'm staying where I am." Ryan said quietly, thinking that if it were somebody he cared about lying here, he'd hoped that someone would fight for them. The cop had only been doing his job. He didn't ask for the day to turn into shit like it had done. And Ryan had never bought into Trey's thinking that all cops were assholes.

"You've quite an attitude for someone who's aiming to get himself killed?"

"Ryan." Ryan heard Seth and Kirsten say his name at the same time. He didn't look over at them for fear that they would sway him.

"Ryan…please do what he says." Sandy pleaded.

Ryan turned his head and saw that everyone was looking at him, but it was Sandy, Kirsten and Seth's faces that swam up into focus.

"Yeah…_Ryan_ I suggest that you listen to them real quick." The man said his name sarcastically.

"Don't …please...help me." The cop's voice was the barest whisper now.

"He's going to die." Ryan shouted in panic.

"Ryan, man, just do what he says." Seth piped up his voice sounded strangled.

Then Sandy said something stupid, really stupid.

"It's not Marissa, Ryan…it's not Marissa."

Ryan couldn't believe it. He'd thought that Sandy would've understood.

"What the _hell_ has that got to do with anything, Sandy?" Ryan knew his voice sounded angry.

Now they want to talk about Marissa? Now when they were knee-fucking-deep in blood and shit. Did Sandy really think this was about her? This was _not_ about her, not even remotely. This was about trying to do the right thing.

"Everybody…. _shut it._" The guy with the gun bellowed, his head thrown back and his patients obviously wearing thin.

"You sure are _one_ stubborn S.O.B."

The guy looked at him coldly, then a slow grin appeared on his face. He marched over to where Sandy was sitting and placed the gun against his forehead.

"Now…I'll ask you again. Get the fuck away from that murdering cop or I shoot…capeesh?"

**TBC**

Read and review and I'll love you forever.  



	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Heist.  
**Rating: **Um…PG13-R**  
Beta: ****melanie39**.**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.**  
Story: **As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay! All in the title really. Set post finale.**  
Notes:** Short chapter. ..sorry. A huge big wet snog and a thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. 

**Heist**

Chapter 3

If there was ever a time when Ryan could actually hear silence then it was now. His ears pounded with white noise as he struggled to breathe. It should have been easy. Sandy versus a stranger was not even a contest but when you held someone's life in your hands literally it wasn't such an easy decision, especially when that person was staring at you with such scared incomprehension.

"Ryan?" Ryan heard Seth's voice, sounding incredulous that he was even stopping to think about this.

All Ryan could focus on was the triangle that had formed between the cop on the floor, the guy with the gun and Sandy. How the hell was he supposed to choose one life over another?

He fervently wished he had just stayed outside and put up with the heat because all he seemed to be doing was putting people's lives at risk just by being here.

But still he couldn't move away from the cop.

Ryan could see that Sandy was starting to look seriously worried and the guy was getting more and more pissed that even now he was still stalling. Clearly Seth and Kirsten were starting to panic at his indecision but Ryan found himself panicking more. Maybe he'd been hit on the head harder than he'd first thought because it was like he was locked inside his head - unable to think and unable to come up with a lucid thought to the problem he now faced.

It _shouldn't _have been hard. This was Sandy, the man who had given him pretty much everything.

The growing tension was broken by the sound of a phone ringing on the cashier's desk. The guy ignored it for a time choosing instead to stare Ryan down but the incessant ringing eventually got to his already frayed nerves.

"Answer the goddamn phone!" he eventually barked when it became obvious that whoever was ringing wasn't going to give up.

Ryan felt the sweat prickle his skin and run down his back. He was grateful for the small reprieve the interruption gave him as the guy turned his attention away from him.

The manager picked up the phone like it was an unexploded bomb. He listened and nodded, making several small 'uhh huh' sounds before holding it out to the centre of the room.

"It's the police," the manager said nervously.

Ryan watched as he slowly lowered the gun away from Sandy, walked over and took the phone. He started to speak instantly.

"I want it known that we didn't shoot first…that was your fucking lot. You caused this…we didn't want any trouble."

Ryan thought he sounded like a petulant kid as he rushed to explain that all this was not remotely his fault. Ryan could only imagine what was being said as the guy went quiet and listened. They were probably asking how many people were down or dead. The guy's face clouded and the knuckles on his hand turned white as he clenched the phone, listening.

"No…you listen to me…. I've got hostages and I'll use them …I want out of here…I want a car and safe passage away or people start to die."

With that he slammed the phone down. Ryan watched as he ran his hands through his hair. His gun slid through his lank mane before it came to rest at the back of his neck as he laced his fingers and started to pace.

Everyone seemed to be holding their breath. The young cashier with glasses started to cry again but this time the tears silently snaked down her face. The elderly woman held on tight to the black woman. Ryan could see that she was going into shock as her whole body was shaking uncontrollably in the frail woman's arms. Everybody was exchanging worried looks with the people next to them. Hearing that the guy wasn't going to let this end simply was not the easiest thing to listen to, especially when he openly threatened violence.

Ryan looked down at the cop. His face was almost translucent white now and his eyes were losing their shine, turning dull. Blood was pooling underneath him and Ryan could feel its warm stickiness seep into the knees of his jeans. Ryan felt bile rise up into his throat and swallowed…no, this wasn't going to happen again. He knew the cop was fast losing the fight to hold on. Ryan looked down at his hands, his fingers beginning to cramp with the effort he was exerting to hold the cop's guts in. He raised his head. He deliberately didn't look over at the Cohens knowing that they would be horrified that he was going to swing the focus his way again. He took a deep breath then opened his mouth.

"If you give them the cop then they'll be more open to negotiating with you." Ryan spoke in a loud, firm voice.

The guy stopped pacing and swung his way. Ryan continued, trying to keep the tone of his voice loud and confident even though he felt anything but.

"The cop is still alive. If you give them him and the women then they'll be more inclined to believe that you didn't mean for any of this to happen."

Ryan could feel three pairs of Cohen eyes boring into him, willing him to shut up. He knew what was going through their minds…that his behavior was all a throwback to the accident, that he was setting himself on a crash course to self-destruction out of grief and self-loathing because of what he hadn't managed to prevent from happening that night.

But it wasn't about that; this had started way before he'd come to Newport and it had nothing to do with Marissa. This was about not letting the bastards get away with it anymore. He'd spent most of his life being trodden on and four years ago he'd made the decision not to blend in with the walls anymore and to fight back. He'd found his voice and his fists and didn't care about the consequence. As long as he fought back, that's what counted.

"If the cop dies then they are going to throw the book at you. Two dead cops? You'll be treated like a pariah. You'll never see the fucking light of day," he continued.

Ryan knew he was playing a dangerous game goading this guy as he was but he was also telling the truth. He'd be beaten black and blue before they even processed him. The guy's eyes hardened as he looked at him but Ryan could also see his brain ticking over.

"He's right!" the businessman spoke up. "They'll go easier on you if you show that you don't want any more people to die."

"I'm a lawyer. Any defense attorney would use that to your advantage." Sandy sighed but spoke up too. "Maybe they will let you negotiate a free path clear if they see that you want to play fair?" he added quickly as he saw the guy's face cloud at the talk of him getting busted.

Ryan knew what Sandy was doing. He was keeping the dream alive in the guy's head that he still had the chance that this was going to end with him driving off into the sunset, even though they all knew that the police wouldn't negotiate.

A man who had nothing to lose didn't care who he hurt. He knew that, Sandy knew that.

The phone started to ring again. The man continued to pace for a while whilst it rang. Everyone stared at him. He walked over to where Ryan knelt.

"He still alive?"

"Just…you haven't got time to fuck around. Tell them that you'll let him go…and the women. You'll still have us but let the women go." Ryan looked over to where Kirsten sat looking terrified. At least one of them might be able to get out.

"Don't fucking push it!" the man spat and stalked to the phone. He snatched up the receiver.

"One of the cops needs medical assistance. I'm letting him go." He glared at Ryan. "And the women. I'm showing you that I want this to end well but any funny business and I will shoot one of the remaining hostages. If I do it'll be on your heads. I've warned you."

He slammed the phone down again and continued to glare at Ryan, leaving him and everyone else in the room in no doubt that he had already chosen who would be sacrificed should the police decide to storm the place.

"All the broads get over towards the door." The women looked at each other nervously, stalling, as if they thought it was some sort of joke. "Move!"

The female cashiers stood up and shakily made their way across the floor. The elderly woman managed to support the black woman with the help of the socialite. Ryan wondered how many barriers today had managed to break down.

"I'm not leaving you." Ryan heard Kirsten's voice. His head pounded and he shut his eyes. And they thought he was stubborn? He started to silently pray for Kirsten to just go.

"Mom, get out!" Seth pleaded.

Ryan opened his eyes and saw Kirsten was still sitting; one hand clasped in Seth's, the other in Sandy's.

"Kirsten…please." Ryan watched Sandy squeeze her hand and look over to where Ryan was kneeling. "Please."

There was a pause before she got up and made her way over to the door. She looked behind her as she walked and locked eyes with him. The implication Sandy had given was clear in her face…don't rock the boat whilst the guy was pissed off with him. She looked frightened for him.

The guy nodded to the businessman and the manager.

"Unlock the door and open it slowly. The women go first, then drag the cop over to the door and push him out."

The men cautiously walked over, both staring at the gun in the guy's hand; Ryan sat back on his heels, relinquishing his hold on the cop. The businessman gave Ryan a look of respect and patted his arm as he bent down. They gently held the cop under his armpits and started to drag him awkwardly across the floor, his blood making a wide smear across the floor. He didn't even make a sound, which Ryan thought was not a good sign. The guy turned the gun on him yet again as they neared the door and ordered the security guard to move away as he was the closest, the guard looked longingly at the door before moving to the center of the room and sat down next to Sandy and Seth.

"If anyone who's not supposed to leave tries anything then Ryan here dies…got it?" The manager and the businessman both nodded.

"Open the door."

The manager punched a number into the keypad and unlocked the door. He stood back and slowly opened it. Ryan could hear the cops outside spring into action. He could hear the crackle of radios and someone bellowing 'hold your fire'. Ryan wondered just how many guns were trained on the building right now.

The women all started to file out. Ryan shut his eyes again not wanting to see Kirsten leave, not wanting to see if the men carrying the cop decided to run. He could hear running footsteps and shouts of the cops outside, then the sound of the door shutting again.

"Lock it."

Ryan opened his eyes and let out the breath he'd been holding.

The guy took the gun away from his head.

"You got lucky…for now." He gave him a swift kick to the ankle as he walked away.

Ryan winced but refused to further acknowledge the action. He bit his lip and looked around the room.

And then there were eight.

The businessman.

The manager.

A male cashier.

The security guard.

Seth.

Sandy.

Him.

And the man with a gun.

They all sat in silence. The guy went and sat on the counter so he had a bird's eye view of them all. Ryan wondered what happened now.

A few minutes later the lights flickered before pitching them into semi-darkness and the air con went silent.

The cops had switched the power off.

**TBC.**


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Heist.Rating: Um…PG13-R  
Beta: The fabulous lurker m3kane, a beta virgin who did a great job. Thanks for the help and the insightful changes honey.  
Disclaimer: I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie. Fuck!  
Story: As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay! All in the title really. Set post finale.  
Notes: hiding under the bed again to avoid the pinatas from 'certain' people - Storymom!

**Heist**

Chapter 4

Ryan could smell the acrid tang of stale sweat on his body. The air con had been off for just over thirty minutes by his reckoning and the room's humidity was already rising to a stifling level.

Anxiety, fear, and the fast rising heat in the building made for a dangerous mix. Exacerbating the situation, the dim light filtering through the heavy blinds cast a grim greyness over the room and crept into every corner like a depression. The guy with the gun had stripped off his outer shirt and was now sitting in a pair of jeans and a grubby pale blue tee. He jiggled his leg up and down as he stared at the phone waiting for it to ring again. The last call had not ended well and the tension in the room was palpable. The guy had yelled at the cops for switching the power off and he'd demanded they switch it back on. That call had ended with him punching the counter top hard.

They were still in semi-darkness twenty minutes later and it was getting hotter by the second.

The businessman was trying to engage the guy in conversation. "They're probably just trying to make you angry. Don't give in to them. Don't do anything stupid 'cause that's what they want."

"When did you become such an expert?" the guy with the gun grunted.

"I'm not…but they're going to try and fuck with you. Don't let them. This can end up okay. I mean you let the cop go and the women. That will go in your favour, right?" The businessman shifted and wiped the sweat off the back of his neck. "What's your name…I mean what do we call you, we've got to call you something right?"

The guy just glared.

"Give us a something, a nick name…hell make one up. We're going to be stuck here together for god knows how long. We might as well know each others names."

Ryan had a lot of respect for whoever this man was. He was cool and he wasn't panicking. He was probably some high-powered exec who was used to dealing with the "shit hitting the fan". He'd probably been on some crazy assed corporate course that covered hostage situations just in case the mailroom junior or janitor went nuts after years of unsuccessfully trying to climb the corporate ladder.

Ryan stifled a laugh. The heat was getting to him.

It was clever, though. Ryan had read somewhere that knowing each others names in a situation like this helped to personalize and create an atmosphere where they became people instead of disposable commodities. Not that it had helped him much, the guy knew his name and it hadn't stopped him from having a hard on for him when it came to threats.

"I'm Jeff," the businessman said. He pointedly looked at the security man.

"Clancy."

He then turned to each of them in turn.

"Brian," the manager said quietly.

Jeff then looked at Seth.

"Seth Cohen, first time hostage, first time heist situation and can I say that I'm kinda feeling the love in the room right now?" Seth replied.

Trust Seth to downplay his fear but at least he was looking less terrified. If he could wisecrack then Ryan could worry less. Even Sandy managed to look faintly amused.

"Sandy Cohen."

"Steve," the cashier spoke.

It took him a while to realize that all eyes had swung his way.

"Ryan," he said flatly, like they didn't know that already.

"Okay…" Jeff turned to the guy and looked at him expectantly.

The guy looked pissed but eventually gave in.

"Saul…the cops probably know that already, as it seems like we were ratted out."

Saul? This guy could not look less like a Saul if he tried with his dyed hair and prison yard tattoos but then what did he know…half the time he didn't feel like an 'Atwood' let alone a 'Ryan'.

Shit it was getting hot.

Ryan wiped the sweat off his face with his hand and rubbed the moisture onto his jeans. His hand came away just as damp. He cursed putting on heavy denim this morning instead of a pair of lightweight pants. He looked over at Seth who sat in a pair of broad shorts and a cotton shirt, his hair was damp but he looked cooler than some of the people in the room. Clancy had taken off his jacket and tie. Jeff had pulled his shirt out and opened it to the waist, as had Brian. Sandy was in the same position he was in and unless they both wanted to sit with their tops off they just had to put up with their tee shirts sticking to them.

Seth caught his eye and started signalling to him Eagle Scout style. Ryan didn't have a clue what Seth was trying to say but just watching him was a comfort. He gave Seth a weak smile and nodded his head slightly, any stronger movement than that made the room spin and tilt. To be quite honest he was having difficulties keeping his eyes open. It was the heat; he figured that was making him dopey, he was probably getting dehydrated as well, that was not helping the building nausea he felt.

Almost as if he was mocking him Saul got up and walked over to the water cooler situated in the corner of the room. He drained two cups, went back to the phone, and continued to stare at it.

"We all need water," Sandy spoke.

Just hearing the word made Ryan's gummy mouth water in anticipation and he looked longingly at the water cooler. Saul seemed to ponder this for a while and Ryan wondered if he was going to refuse Sandy's request out of sheer bloody mindedness to spite them.

"Okay…one at a time," he eventually said.

Sandy went first and drank deeply, and then sat back down. The others followed suit. Ryan went last. He got halfway to the cooler when his body started to rebel. He felt a cold flush surge through his body followed close on its heels by a hot sensation and a fuzzy light-headedness that told him that there was a distinct possibility that he was going to pass out. He slowed his steps and breathed deeply willing the episode away. It worked, the spots cleared from in front of his eyes and his leaden limbs felt like they could hold him up again. The heat was getting to him more than he thought. He pulled a paper cup down and filled it. The water was tepid now, but it tasted like nectar. Ryan sunk three cups and felt more human. He returned to his corner and sat back down.

"Ryan…are you okay?" Sandy asked as soon as his ass hit the floor. The patented Cohen worried tone was in place. Great.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

Ryan's stomach gave a little lurch. He nodded even though he was starting to feel like crap again now that he'd sat down. He was thankful when Saul told them to be quiet. Sandy looked like he was going to argue, but the sound of the phone ringing made them all sit upright, everything else forgotten. Saul snatched the phone up and barked down the line.

"Put the power back on now! I'm not kidding. Don't fuck with me because it won't work. All you're doing is putting these people in danger. I told you I want out. I want a car…I want you to back off…I mean it!"

Ryan watched with the others as Saul listened intently to whoever was on the line. From what Saul was saying they appeared to be trying to placate him, asking for time to get a 'car' sorted. Ryan knew that was crap. No car would be available…no get out clause at all for Saul. They were buying time. At this moment there probably was several units setting up crisis meetings outside, risk management and feasibility studies on how best to end this with the least amount of casualties.

Saul started losing it again. Ryan was learning how to read him, and he'd figured that when he started running his hand through his hair, that was the time to worry. Ryan learnt from an early age that 'they' always had a sign to watch out for. Saul was listening quietly but his hand was repeatedly raking furrows in his thick hair.

He eventually spoke.

"I'm _not_ a patient man," was all he said before he put the phone down.

Again they all held their breaths and looked at one another. Saul went back to his pacing. Ryan thought that he was beginning to understand that the cops were not about to let him walk and was trying to work out what to do next.

The room was silent and again the tension upped a notch. Seth shifted closer to Sandy. No one took their eyes off Saul.

Ryan's stomach unfortunately chose that moment to lurch again. The water he'd just downed churned uneasily. He must have drunk it too fast, or it was just the product of the mother of all headaches that had settled behind his eyes. He swallowed several times and shut his eyes.

Shit.

Not now.

He knew it was inevitable a second before it happened. Ryan kept the first wave in his mouth, and he rather disgustingly swallowed it back down in the vain hope that that would be it. But the second wave hit more forcefully, and he had no choice but to lean forward and open his mouth as his stomach expelled its contents with a series of explosive heaves. Vomit splattered across the marble floor, and Ryan could feel all eyes on him as he coughed and heaved.

"Stay where you are!" Saul shouted. Ryan could guess that Sandy had tried to join him.

He managed to catch his breath as the heaving stopped.

"Great…just fucking great. Now we have to put up with that stink." Saul sounded pissed, surprise surprise.

Ryan felt ashamed and embarrassed. Throwing up like a little kid in front of everyone was not cool.

"Let me go to him…he's sick." Sandy pleaded.

"I said, 'Stay where you are'."

"That guy hit him pretty hard…maybe it's a concussion," Jeff said.

"Yeah," Clancy added.

Ryan saw Seth's eyes grow wide and Sandy looked agitated by the thought.

"I'm fine… it's just the heat." He said to try and put their minds at rest but he was beginning to think that maybe there was some truth in what they'd just said.

"Yeah, well, whatever it is you've pissed me off from the start. I don't trust you, you're a sneaky little bastard…."

Saul walked over and looked at Ryan with distaste.

"I don't trust you one bit, you make me nervous…. get up."

Ryan looked at him trying to figure out what the hell was going to happen next.

"On your feet…now." He punctuated it with a nudge from the gun on his arm.

"He's ill…can't you see that?" Sandy pleaded again.

"Dad?" Ryan looked over at Seth and saw him looking both scared and confused. "Leave him alone."

He tried to signal with his eyes that it was going to be okay, but he didn't really believe it so why should Seth. He tried to work up the energy to move; he knelt for a second hoping that his head would clear before he stood up. He looked into Saul's eyes as he paused and didn't like what he saw there. A possible concussion was the least of his problems it appeared.

Saul grinned at him, and he felt like a fly trapped in a web.

"I'm going to count to five…" And he pulled back the trigger. A loud click sounded around the room.

Ryan didn't need to be told twice, he pushed himself upright and stood.

"He can barely stand!" Jeff shouted urgently. "Be reasonable…he's just a kid."

"Please…he's no real threat to you." Sandy joined in, as did everyone else in the room. Had he not been so scared, Ryan would have felt gratified that people seemed to care.

"What are you going to do?" he asked quietly, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Just move." Saul nudged him again with the gun towards the back of the bank. He looked at Seth and Sandy as he started walking.

"It'll be okay," he said softly as he passed them, but Saul's laugh implied that it would be far from okay.

"If you hurt him…if you lay one finger on him… I _swear_ I'll not rest until I see you get everything you deserve!" Sandy yelled at their retreating backs. He didn't sound remotely like the Sandy he knew. For the first time ever he heard pure venom in his voice, and that was not a quality Ryan thought Sandy possessed. He was still learning things about the family that had taken him in.

Saul didn't acknowledge Sandy.

"If anyone moves a muscle they'll be trouble. I mean it, I won't be long," he said as they walked behind the cashiers' counters and into the back of the bank away from everyone else.

Ryan felt dizzy. He felt sick. His heart was beating way too fast.

Ryan comprehended, suddenly and completely, the meaning of the phrase 'dead man walking'.

To the left of him was what appeared to be a small safety deposit vault. Abandoned in fright by a staff member, the heavy steel door was ajar with papers scattered on the floor in front of it. To his right were several small offices and a kitchenette area also showing signs of the panic that must have occurred when the gunmen first entered the bank. A coffee cup lay on its side, sugar package upturned, a mini fridge with the door open, the creamer spoiling by the sink.

Saul told him to stop where he was.

He did.

Saul told him to kneel down.

He did… slowly.

Saul moved behind him and told him that he was going to die.

He had no doubt about that as the hard metal of the pistol touched the back of his head.

Saul said that this was going to show the cops he meant business.

Ryan stared at the floor in front of him and waited.

No one moved.

Even though the door was less than fifteen feet away and Brian had the keys. It was like they were all encased in their own invisible prisons, incapable of any mobility. Fear and uncertainty made them all stay put.

A strange solidarity had sprung up in the short space of time they'd been together, and they all worried about the teen that'd dared to stand up for them.

No one moved.

"What's going to happen?" Seth spoke quietly. His voice wavered, and his usual carefree posture stiff with tension.

Sandy for once in his life was at a loss for words. All he could do was hold his son's hand tight, a gesture which in normal circumstances would have resulted in a teenage hissy fit. Seth didn't seem to notice or, if he did, he didn't care about age or appearances given the present situation.

Sandy's eyes were focused, as were Seth's, on the wall that separated them from the rest of the bank, the wall behind which Ryan had been forcefully marched.

Sandy had never really understood his son's continuing obsession with comics and superheroes, but he desperately wished now that he possessed the superpower of x-ray vision to see what was happening behind that wall.

Time stood still, each second passing seemed like hours.

Sandy held onto Seth's hand and waited.

He prayed silently to himself.

A muffled gunshot reverberated around the room.

Sandy jumped even though he'd been expecting it.

He shut his eyes and held so tightly on to Seth.

He was glad he couldn't see through the wall after all.

**TBC**

Da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

ducks the rotting fruit.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **Heist.  
**Author:****cheekymice** AKA Ms Evil McEvil.**  
Rating: **Um…PG13-R**  
Beta: Melanie39 **Thanks Melly. waves**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.  
S**tory: **As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay! All in the title really. Set post finale.N**otes:** For **zbyszko**'s birthday as promised. Storymom is not allowed to read on account that she's been very, very mean and threatened actual bodily harm to sweet ickle old me. 

**Heist**

_Chapter 5_

Sandy couldn't process the thoughts running through his head. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't. lj-cut text"get ya drama here!"

The day had started simply as an exercise to get Ryan out of the house and out of the black mood that had settled over him since the accident.

Ryan had been so…erratic the past few weeks. Depression had gradually given way to sullen aloofness and that was not a character trait they were used to in Ryan. When he did talk he'd snap and snipe at everyone and though they'd been patient with him they figured it was time to stop. Sandy had sat with Kirsten in the kitchen and actually planned the day with a view to bringing them all back into focus as a family like it used to be. He'd suggested that today was the day that they finally had to stop walking on eggshells around Ryan. They'd all go to lunch as a family, away from the house, whether he liked it or not. Sandy had felt suddenly good that they would actively be doing something to help Ryan.

What started out as a plan to help restore Ryan had somehow senselessly ended with his death.

Why hadn't he just turned back over in bed this morning and given Ryan more time?

Because Ryan had grieved enough.

Why today of all days did they stop at the bank?

Because they needed to arrange some deposits.

Why?

Sandy felt a bubbling rage towards the man who'd needlessly picked on the one person who'd been picked on all his life. But there was nothing he could do, he had to protect Seth now, he had to. He'd failed Ryan but he wouldn't fail Seth… even though he wanted to get up and rip Saul's heart out from his chest the minute he walked back into the room, to leave a gaping hole where it should be. He wanted Saul to know what it felt like.

It was so unfair…what had Ryan done to deserve…any of it? Sandy refused to believe that there was such a thing as a natural victim. Ryan was not a victim. Sandy wasn't aware of the wetness on his face until the tears fell down on his hand, the hand that was crushing his son's fingers. He loosened his grip and turned to Seth. His breathing was shallow, his face blank as he stared at the floor. Seth slowly brought his face up and looked at him.

"He's not dead…he's not, dad. This is Ryan…he'll have put some Chino move on him or something. He's not dead."

For a brief moment Sandy had hope. Maybe Seth was right. Ryan was a survivor.

Hope ended when the door opened.

Everyone was silent when Saul came back into the room. He went straight to the water cooler and drank a cup in one gulp; slowly he refilled the cup again and turned towards them all.

No one wanted to look at him but they couldn't look away either. How could his hands not be shaking when he'd just killed a kid in cold blood?

He sipped and looked at each of them over the rim of the paper cup, staring into their faces defiantly.

Each and every man turned away, not wanting to share his gaze even for a second.

The sound of the gunshot still seemed to echo in the silent room.

Everyone had an image of the blond boy etched in his mind.

The game of chess had just turned nasty.

No one spoke for about ten minutes and then the quiet security guard opened his mouth. Clancy looked more shocked than anyone over it.

"You're bluffing…you didn't shoot the kid."

"You think?" Saul laughed.

Jeff joined in.

"Yeah, he's right…you're bluffing, that's why you took him out back."

The phone started to ring but Saul ignored it.

He sat down on the floor and rested the gun on his lap. Reaching into his back pocket he pulled out some more bullets. One bounced across the marble of the floor and came to rest near Seth's sneaker. He pulled his foot away. Saul picked the gun back up and opened, then spun the chamber of the gun.

"I'm impressed, actually. Most people would have begged, but not that stubborn little bitch. He just knelt there, quiet as a mouse…then 'bam'…his head fucking exploded. If you don't believe me you're welcome to go see. He made quite a mess." Saul sniggered as he calmly reloaded. "Don't know how much longer we're gonna be here and boy, is he gonna start stinking in this heat. Makes sense not to shit on your own doorstep so to speak."

Saul smiled and put the gun back in his lap.

Jeff and Clancy backed off. Both looked ill.

"You got any shit we can cover that up with?" Saul nodded towards where Ryan had been sitting.

Brian stared numbly at the floor.

"Hey, you! Mister manager…" Saul yelled, causing Brian to jump. "Do something about that."

The phone stopped ringing.

Seth stared at the bullet on the floor. Saul was lying.

Ryan would have fought; there was no way that Ryan would have given up so easily. No way. He would have fought till the end, probably getting a few hefty punches in before…before…

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Sandy stared vacantly in front of him as Brian poured sand over Ryan's vomit and his last glimmer of hope was extinguished.

Saul's description was so real that Sandy could picture it clearly. Ryan was the sort of kid who would just face his fate with the fortitude and courage that a man twice his age would not be able to find. Ryan always had that fatal resignation about him. That's what made him Ryan and that's what ultimately killed him.

Ryan would not compromise what he thought was right, even if that meant putting himself in danger. Sandy hated that quality, a kid should be selfish, and a kid should never have to think about anything weightier than finding a prom date or an argument with a buddy. A kid shouldn't have to worry about where he was going to live or who his mother was going to bring home next. A kid shouldn't have to duck blows and put up with drug deals going on in his house.

Ryan had never been a kid.

He had not been allowed to become a man.

The phone started to ring and Saul just looked at it.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Jeff asked, after the fifth ring.

"I'm keeping them waiting. See how they like it."

They all stared at the phone, their only lifeline out of the bank. When it went silent again they all exchanged pained looks. What was Saul playing at?

It started ringing again almost immediately. It was strange how the tone had not changed in anyway but it seemed more urgent somehow.

"Answer it."

Sandy looked up to see that Saul was looking at him as he spoke.

"You! Answer it."

Sandy swallowed and got up. Saul was some sort of a sicko. He got his kicks from this. He must do, to put himself in this situation. It was calculated and so damn wrong. Sandy picked up the phone and spoke.

"Who is this?" The negotiator on the other end of the line asked immediately.

"Sandy Cohen."

"Sandy, is everyone okay? We heard a shot out here."

Sandy turned his back on every one; he didn't want them watching him.

"Sandy?" the man urged.

"Um…no." Sandy almost whispered.

"No to everyone is all right? Or no, there was no shot?" the man questioned.

"No…someone was shot." Sandy choked out.

"Okay Sandy, you're doing great. Can you tell me who was shot?"

"Tell them, Cohen." Sandy heard Saul say behind him, amusement clear in his voice. "Tell them what their delays made me do."

"Sandy…you still there? Can you tell us who was shot?"

Sand shuddered as he took in a lungful of air. He didn't want to say it. Saying it would make it real.

"Tell them, Cohen!" Saul raised his voice.

"My son, he shot my son." Sandy shut his eyes. He could hear people talking the other end of the phone in the background. He heard both Seth and Ryan's names.

"Sandy, was it Seth or Ryan?" The negotiator gently asked.

"Ryan." The name stuck in his throat and came out as a strangled 'Raa' sound."

"How is he, Sandy? Does he need medical assistance?" The voice sounded genuinely concerned.

Sandy scrunched his eyes shut tighter.

"No…he's…he's dead."

"Tell them why, Cohen."

Sandy balled his free hand into a fist.

"He killed my son because you're taking too long."

Sandy gripped the handset. He could hear the cops in the background go silent.

"Put the phone down now." Saul said.

Sandy did as he was told. He was shaking and it took him a second to realize that it was anger he was feeling…anger that he'd been made to do that. He turned to see that Seth was quietly crying, his shoulders heaving and his head bowed. Brian, Jeff, Clancy and Steve were all looking at him with such pity. Sandy sat back down and pulled Seth into a hug.

He didn't want their pity.

He wanted to start this day over again.

He just wanted Ryan back.

**Tbc.**

Laughs...na na na na


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: **Heist**.  
Author: **cheekymice AKA Ms Evil McEvil**.  
Rating: **PG13**  
Beta: **melanie39. Thanks Melly. waves**  
Disclaimer: **I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie. **  
Story: **As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay! All in the title really. Set post finale.  
**Notes:** Okay, you have suffered enough. Ya wanna know how Ryan die...um..what happened behind that door? Read on McDuff. :)**  
**

**Heist**

_Chapter 6_

Saul concentrated on the gun in his lap. There was no way that he was going back inside…no way. This was supposed to be an easy job, that was the only reason he'd let himself be talked into it. It was planned as a straight in-out affair, they wouldn't be greedy... just grab all the available money and run. That was until a rat-bastard squealed on them and turned it all to hell.

Saul knew the odds were stacked against him. The cops were not going to just let him walk but he had to force their hand and try.

No matter what happened he was not going back inside

Ryan struggled again in a last ditch effort to get his hands untied. He could feel that he was bleeding now and every twist and movement he made behind his back rubbed more skin off his wrists. He was getting desperate; he knew that he had to get the gag out of his mouth. He was not going survive all the shit in his life only to die from something as stupid as aspirating vomit into his lungs.

He'd awoken in pitch-blackness. When people said 'it was pitch black' he thought he knew what they meant but until he'd opened his eyes and seen absolutely nothing he'd never really encountered it.

He'd lost it. Normally he didn't panic easily but confusion made him freak. His hands were tied behind his back and a gag bit sharply into the corners of his mouth, forcing his tongue backwards against the roof of his mouth. He started to retch. He didn't know where the hell he was. He'd seriously thought that his recurring nightmare of being buried alive had come true. He'd hyperventilated, he'd kicked his legs out frantically and it was only when the metal toe caps of his boots clanged against the walls that it occurred to him where he was and he'd calmed down…slightly.

The gag in his mouth tasted foul. While he was out he'd obviously vomited again and God knows how he was still alive. Being on his side, unconscious and relaxed had undoubtedly saved him as but he knew that next time he might not be so lucky. The churning in his stomach was still there and this time he was awake. He knew that fear would make him tense up and the thought of that was making him breathe harder. He twisted his hands violently but whoever had tied them had used something strong and they'd knotted the bonds well. Ryan gave up with a groan of frustration.

His head pounded sickeningly and he breathed deeply through his nose to try and quell the building nausea he felt again. He could feel himself start to panic again, his heart starting to pump erratically in his chest and he could feel the rising hysteria take hold again. He forced himself to think logically…to do something. Ryan eventually inched his ass along the floor until he was up against the side of the vault. He moved his head along the wall, shifting slowly as he went. Apart from the rounded handles of what he assumed were safety deposit boxes there was nothing. He was about to give in when his cheek caught against the sharp metal corner of an opened drawer. He pulled his head back sharply in shock as the metal dug into his flesh but he also felt relief that he might be able to do something.

Ryan worked away; he found that by tilting his head he could catch the fabric against the open point of the drawer. He gouged his face a couple of times but on the tenth try the material held fast against the metal and he managed, by pulling his head up sharply, to pull the gag out of his mouth. He rested his head against the hot metal and tried to even out his breathing. Just the effort of doing that one small thing drained him. Ryan felt less nauseous now the gag was out of his mouth but no less claustrophobic.

The blackness was oppressive and triggered something, a faint familiarity, a distant memory in him that he didn't like.

Ryan tried to remember what had happened. His thoughts were so muddled. He wasn't sure how he'd ended up where he was. He remembered being on the floor and being sick and he remembered that he'd been told he was going to die. He knew he was in a bank vault but he didn't know how he knew that. He distinctly remembered a loud bang near his head but that was about it; everything else was missing. He couldn't even think why he'd been in the bank in the first place. He tried to come up with more but it was useless. Even the smallest details were missing. He couldn't remember the date, or even which month they were in.

What the hell had happened?

Why was he here?

There was something else too…something he couldn't grasp. Whenever he tried to catch the thought it would fly away again. It was important, really important, he remember but he didn't know why. Why was such a simple thing like memory eluding him?

He felt like a retard.

What he did know was he felt sick and dizzy, his hands were going numb and his head hurt like a bitch. He struggled with his hands again, hoping that he'd somehow managed to loosen them by his previous attempts. They held firm.

He kicked the cabinets again in frustration, yelling as he did so. No one came.

The heat was rising rapidly. Sweat ran down into his eyes and the salt from his skin made his eyes sting but there was nothing he could do other than blink. He sank down on the floor and curled up on his side. The air was thick and he was getting sleepy. He'd just try to sleep and maybe the sick feeling in his stomach would ease and his head might feel better when he awoke.

Maybe he'd be able to think more clearly.

His eyes drifted shut.

Maybe this wasn't real.

The thing was...he wasn't sure what was anymore.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: **Heist.  
**Author:** **Cheekymice** AKA Ms Evil McEvil.  
**Rating: **Um…PG13-R  
**Beta: Brandywine**. Thanks Brandy. waves Thanks to everyone who offered to beta. mwah  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.  
**Story: **As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay! All in the title really. Set post finale.  
**Notes:**You can put down the big pointy sticks people. Okay, so this chapter was a bstard to write. But on reflection you might want to keep those sticks handy. I'm gonna be hiding under my bed away from mean ol' **Storymom** Hee...read on.

**Heist**

_Chapter 7_

One hundred and seven minutes. One hundred and seven minutes exactly since the first shot had been fired. Sandy had noticed the time when he'd put his arm out to pull Seth and Kirsten to the floor. How could their world change in that small amount of time?

Sandy was still reeling from the phone call. He didn't like games and he didn't like being used in that way. His brain hadn't even grasped what had happened and yet he'd had to confront it head on. Sandy was numb. He'd failed Ryan…essentially he'd sacrificed him to save Seth.

Ryan's death had gained Saul one hour. That's how long the police said it would take to get him a car and immunity to get away. One hour. The clock was ticking and Saul said he'd shoot someone else at the 60 minute mark if the police didn't come through. Time was up in nine minutes.

Who? One thing Sandy knew was if Saul touched one hair on Seth's head then he would kill him.

Sandy thought hard as he sat on the floor looking at Saul. He told himself at the start that he hadn't been able to do anything to help Ryan but that wasn't the case and he knew it…he'd let Saul march Ryan to his death without any real confrontation, a token threat was all he'd uttered. He had to keep Seth safe. That urge had been ingrained in him from the first moment his son had opened his eyes at the maternity hospital all those years ago.

It hit deep that he would have fought harder for Seth, that no matter how much he loved Ryan -Seth would always come first and what did that make him? He'd taken Ryan in on a supposedly equal footing to protect him from an unfit family who put him in danger but logically he could never be equal to Seth deep down and he hated himself for it. He was just as bad as most of the people in Ryan's past who thought he was disposable.

Ryan had died senselessly for immoral gain just by standing up for what he thought was right even though he knew the obvious dangers. How he managed to show that level of moral fiber Sandy would never know. Growing up as he had, he'd never understand how much he meant to them all. They never told him that enough. And now it was too late. Sandy looked over at Seth. He looked in total shock. He was shaking and pale, his eyes glassy and bright. How the hell would he get over this…how would any of them ever get over this day?

Ryan awoke with a start. The first thing that he noticed was the heat. It hit him like a wall of fire. The small room had rapidly turned into a furnace while he was out. The second thing he noticed was that his head felt like it was going to split in half when he moved. So he didn't.

He was still in the absolute darkness, as black and thick as treacle. His hands were still tied behind his back but he didn't even bother to try and get free again. When he tried to think - random thoughts came into his head. The day he'd bought his first stereo, kissing Theresa under the mistletoe at the mall, getting his ass kicked for forgetting to shut the front door by his mom's first boyfriend after his dad got sent down. It was like he was in the twilight world between sleep and waking where thoughts crowded your head in a mishmash of tangled confusion.

_You're going to rot in here…you gotta get out_. The thoughts rattled around his head.

Ryan blinked into the blackness. He cautiously rolled over on his back and shut his eyes against the oppressive darkness, thinking he could fool himself that he was laying on his bed at home and he wasn't here…wherever here was. He grasped at the fleeting images in his head that flitted and shifted away from him. It actually hurt to think but he forced himself to remember.

Things started to fall back into place. It was surreal, like an episode of CSI where blocks locked together to form a square. Things were missing but it was a start.

A bank, he was here in a bank. Why? He couldn't remember. He'd been angry with someone; he remembered feeling petulant and pissed off. Ryan frowned. Shit…Seth. Seth was here and Sandy. That was the thing he'd been trying to remember. He hadn't been alone. This was not Chino and they were not safe. He'd fucked up some way and put them all in danger, not just Seth and Sandy - but the other people too. The gunman had been angry with him and that was bad for them…very bad.

His body jerked sharply as the memory hit him, he saw himself kneel on the floor and wait for the gun to go off, he'd gritted his teeth and waited and waited but when the shot had come he'd found himself still kneeling with his heart in his mouth. The guy had leaned down as he tried to figure out why he wasn't dead and said he was giving him a second chance because he wasn't such a bad guy but if the cops didn't come through then he'd be back to do the job properly.

Dread filled Ryan's stomach. How long had he been in here? Would the door open soon and he'd have to live through that frigid fear again?

Maybe something had gone wrong and the Cohens were dead already or maybe he was and this was his own private purgatory.

Ryan tried to push the thoughts away but it was like his mind was in overdrive. The Cohens wouldn't leave him here. They cared.

His mind scoffed at him…_families let you down_. You couldn't trust them. Family, that was one clear thing Ryan could remember and the thought of his real family did not give him a warm rosy glow. Fights and screaming, beer and vomit, stress and anxiety that was what life in the Atwood household consisted off. The thing was, when he tried to think of life with the Cohens it was blank.

Ryan balled his fists behind his back and tried to think.

_See…you can't even remember. So how can you be so sure your new family hasn't dumped you, forgotten about you? Face it. You're screwed either way._

No.

He tried to sit upright; his arms numb from being twisted behind him, he managed to struggle upwards. He felt weak and disorientated and his hands tingled from where his bonds bit into his wrists. His head swam and the left side of his neck felt stiff where he'd lain awkwardly. He slumped against the wall and used the hot burning surface to keep himself vertical even though the heat penetrated through his shirt and stung his arm. The air was thick, fetid and stale. It actually hurt to breathe; his lungs were burning like he'd smoked a hundred cigarettes. He coughed and couldn't catch his breath properly.

_Think._

He could remember the robbery. That was clear in his head now. Flashes of gunfire and bodies lying on the floor screamed into focus and he could still smell the copper tang of blood on his clothes. Kirsten had gotten out; he could see her turning back and looking at him as she went. He hoped that was real. No, Seth and Sandy would be okay, they'd keep their mouths shut and their heads down. They weren't stupid like he was, but as Trey always said he had a knack for making things worse for himself.

Thinking about Trey made his thoughts fly off in that direction like a badly edited film. He didn't seem to have any control of the things in his head and that scared him…. he always had control.

He didn't want to think of the nagging doubts that he'd buried long ago.

He had the memories of Trey lying to him again and again. And Trey and Marissa spending time together…lots of time together.

His girl had only been spending time with Trey because he had asked. She hadn't sent his brother the wrong signals. She hadn't batted her eyes at him, hugged him, and made him think she was up for more than she was willing to give, made his brother think that she wanted more. She didn't play those dangerous games. Not with Oliver…or Johnny…or DJ…Volcok…himself. She didn't he told himself.

_Yeah, right Ryan. Marissa was all about the thrill of the case, once she had you firmly snagged on the hook she backed away and she didn't want you anymore and you fell for it time and time again. You loved her but did she really love you or just what you represented. She liked the bad and the broken._

Shut up.

Hey_, good job you killed her before she had a chance to meet dad right_?

"No…no…it was an accident. It wasn't my fault." Ryan whispered to himself as the crash came hurtling sharply into focus. The smell of gas and hot rubber assaulted him.

The voice in his head sneered at him and played on all his neuroses and underlying fears that were always with him. His head hurt. That was why he couldn't focus or maybe he'd just finally lost his mind like Trey always said he would.

Ryan curled up in a tight ball with his forehead against his knees even though his back and head complained.

Feelings of rejection and not ever measuring up to people's expectations assaulted him, all the things he feared the most. Ryan shivered despite the stifling heat. His sweat slicked clothes felt cold against his skin sending a chill deep in his bones. His teeth started to chatter.

Ryan started to breathe heavily, trying to slake his body's desperate need for fresh air and partly in panic that he was having to cruelly acknowledge the nagging doubts that he always tried to ignore. He felt light-headed and sick to his stomach again. He felt his body slide down the cabinet, his shoulder thumping against the floor but he was too numb to notice.

"This is not happening." He spoke aloud, repeating the phrase trying to exorcise the growing hysteria that was starting to break though the surface again. The darkness was bringing back unwelcome memories of distant childhood punishments and the same dread that he used to feel thinking he was going to be forgotten.

Ryan shut his eyes and wondered why he didn't have the energy to get up off the floor.

_Where is your new family now huh_, his sub-conscious asked him_. Not that it matters, as they won't miss you. No one will miss you. Your own mother threw you out…hell, you were her golden boy and you managed to make her hate you. Tee even told you to fuck off_.

Ryan shook; he wanted to wrap his arms around his body but couldn't. He could hear a strangled wheezing and it took him a time before he realized it was coming from him.

_You're going straight to hell …with all the other rejects_. His sub-conscious mocked

Yeah, he knew he was going straight there; he'd managed to fuck up too many people's lives. He'd always known that he'd never make old bones.

He was going to die, he could feel it close, actually feel the end as his eyelids started to feel heavy and his lungs burned.

_Sleep,_ the voice told him.

Clancy sat staring at the floor nervously undoing and refastening his watchstrap the sweat was running down off his nose but he didn't seem to notice. Brian had his eyes trained on Saul. Steve the cashier quietly bit his nails. Five minutes. Sandy did not want to think about it. How do you look around a room and know that one of you is going to die in less than three hundred seconds? Jeff was looking around the room obviously thinking the same thing.

It was Seth he was most worried about. His normally frenetic son had turned to stone, literally. He hadn't moved or made any noise since…. Ryan had…Sandy swallowed and checked his watch again.

Four minutes.

Saul had the gun on his lap and his knee bounced. He looked at his watch constantly. Sandy thought he looked nervous. Maybe killing innocent people wasn't sitting as well with him as he thought it would.

Sandy moved closer to Seth and put his hand on his arm, trying to get a reaction from him, anything, but he just stared at the far wall with his face impassive. Sandy removed his hand; maybe the best thing would be to leave him in his insular world for now.

Three minutes.

Jeff looked his way. Sandy didn't need to say anything to communicate his feelings.

Saul got up and started to pace.

"The bastards…the fucking bastards." He shouted, spit flew out of his mouth and he clicked the safety off the pistol. "I warned them…I fucking warned them."

Two minutes.

Saul started to walk towards the back of the bank. Sandy frowned. Why would he need to go out there again? He felt a tight pull in the base of his stomach as his brain caught up with the visuals.

Ryan?

He was alive?

One minute.

No…no. He'd maybe just been given something precious back and now it was going to be taken away from him again.

No way.

Sandy launched himself up off the floor.

It all happened in slow motion. Saul turned at the sound. Sandy saw the gun come up but what caught his eye was the small wavering red dot that had appeared in the centre of Saul's chest.

Saul flew backwards his eyes wide with surprise. Everyone jumped at the noise of the gunshot. Men in black rained down from the roof tiles and surrounded the sprawled body of Saul.

"Target neutralized, area safe" One of them talked into a microphone on his lapel.

"Sir, you picked a dangerous time to move." A hand came down on his shoulder and gripped hard. The lights flickered on bathing them all in bright sodium light.

Sandy found his voice.

"My son…. I don't think he's dead."

"Dad?" Seth stared at him, his mouth wide.

"Sir?" The SWAT questioned.

"I think he was bluffing. I think he was on his way to kill him for real that time."

"I fucking knew it." Clancy piped up.

Sandy was already moving towards the back of the bank. Seth followed on his heels almost overtaking him.

"Sir…please remain where you are." They both heard the command but ignored it, as did everyone else.

The kitchen area was empty.

Sandy looked around him expecting to see Ryan tied up and raising a cynical eyebrow at them all as to why it had taken them so long.

But there was nothing. No body…no Ryan. Sandy rushed into each of the offices.

"Ryan…Ryan?" He called but he was met with silence.

He stood and stared at Seth and Jeff. Where? He couldn't have vanished.

"There were only two perps right?" The SWAT sounded as confused as they all felt.

He was the first to walk over to the safety deposit vault. He had his gun raised as he tried the handle.

"That room's airtight for insurance purposes." Brian said softly.

"Stand back." He called and tugged the handle downwards. He looked backwards as the door swung open.

"Fuck." Swat rushed forward and talked into his lapel. "Medic…. here right now."

Sandy felt like a ton of bricks had hit him when he looked into the room. The smell of sweat and vomit assaulted him but it was the staleness of the air that got him.

Sandy watched as the guy flipped Ryan on his back and checked his airways.

Mouth on mouth.

One.

Two.

Three hard chest depressions.

Repeat.

"Come on kid." The voice was determined.

The man continued CPR.

Sandy looked at Seth. Jeff had moved to his side and was telling him that it would be okay.

Breathe.

Please breathe, he willed.

Don't do this now Ryan.

Fight.

_Fight._

Ryan's lips remained blue.

Don't give up.

Sandy prayed like he'd never prayed before.

**TBC.**

Thanks for all the fab reviews people. I love you all and remember a cheekymouse in love writes quicker. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** Heist.  
**Author:** cheekymice.  
**Beta:** brandywine421. Thanks once again to Brandy. waves and thanks again to everyone who offered to beta. mwah  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.  
**Story:** As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay! All in the title really. Set post finale.  
**Notes: **For 'Missy' and m3kane who have been nudging me somewhat...and a big thanks to every single one of you who commented. I loves ya. :) ****

Heist

_Chapter 8_

Everyone stood still as the medics worked. Even the SWAT guys watched intently. It must have been hard for them to think that they'd been so close to ending the situation without further casualties. Thinking if they'd acted that bit sooner then maybe, just maybe they wouldn't be watching someone barely into adulthood fight for life.

Breathe.

Please breathe.

No one said the words out loud but you could hear them clearly being collectively said by everyone.

"Don't do this to us kid…_come on_." The medic who was pumping his chest muttered under his breath.

Sandy could feel his nails bite into the palms of his hands.

He shut his eyes and continued to pray.

"What is going on? Please tell me." Kirsten asked the young police liaison officer as he led her down the corridor. She'd been politely asked to leave the hastily commandeered room across the street from the bank and follow the cop; no one was telling her why.

"Please… what's happened?"

"I'm not sure. All I know is that someone will meet us shortly." The man said as he walked but he way he wouldn't meet her eye Kirsten knew he was lying.

Kirsten felt herself go light-headed and a cold chill ran up her spine. She knew instantly that something had happened to Ryan, she didn't know how she knew, she just knew. If truth be told she'd a premonition that something bad was going to happen when as she looked back into his eyes when she left the bank. She'd learnt that Ryan's eyes were the window to his mind and they'd had that flat defiance in them that told her he wasn't going to step back from the situation he found himself in.

A careworn looking plain clothed detective stepped forward to meet them as they neared the bank; he nodded to the beat cop that stood by the cordon to let her pass.

"What is it?" She asked.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how to tell you but…"

Kirsten didn't let him finish, she ran past the ambulance and into the bank. She saw that someone had thrown blankets over the bodies of the fallen undercover cop and gunman but she slowed when she saw a new body on the floor. Her heart moved to her throat. The detective caught up with her and took her elbow to steer her away. One of the medics moved and she saw who was lying there. She swung around and looked at the cop, baffled as to what was going on but relief coursed through her veins as she saw it was the body of the other gunmen.

The relief she'd felt quickly vanished as the cop spoke softly to her, his eyes full of compassion. Kirsten noticed that he didn't remove his arm. It was a good thing because she suspected it was the only thing holding her up.

They said that the scans showed Ryan's brain waves were good and he was responding to external stimuli, that he was breathing on his own now. So if he was doing so great why wasn't he waking up? Seth got up and walked over to the vending machine. He pressed for a coffee and got a cup of weak instant, after the first sip he checked that there was no one watching before he flung the cup hard at the opposite wall. He watched the brown watery liquid drip down the magnolia surface with no great satisfaction. Seth was angry that he wasn't allowed in the ICU with his parents. He was pretty much pissed at the world right now and if the truth were told, he was also scared, so fucking scared for himself and for Ryan.

And to add to that his parents were ignoring him at the moment, they told him to go and calm down and come back when he could behave like an adult. Seth cringed at his earlier words but he'd only voiced what his parents were scared to.

"_So what you are saying is that although Ryan's showing that he's not completely brain dead…you can't tell us if he's going to end up a vegetable?" _

His mom had flinched at his words and his dad had looked like he was going to lose it but Seth couldn't help it. He wanted to know what they were dealing with and the doctor had bandied medical terminology like they should know what he was talking about… MRI, EKG'S, EEG'S …what the fuck was _Hypoxic encephalopathy_ and _cerebral hemispheres_? Progress in Seth's book was Ryan sat up in bed ogling the nurses and getting annoyed at his parents as they hovered over him. Progress was not telling them that the fact that Ryan was now breathing on his own was a good thing. That wasn't progress… that was normal, that shouldn't be a hard thing to do… that is what people did every day.

So as Seth heard it, if the lack of oxygen to the brain was limited to a very brief period of time, coma should be reversible with varying levels of return to function, depending on the extent of injury because as Ryan had been smacked around the head a few times as well they had that to contend with. Seth wanted to shout at the doctor that 'they' didn't have to contend with this….Ryan did. Frustration at the way the doctor was speaking of Ryan like he wasn't a person had made his blood boil.

Seth didn't want to hear that only time would tell as to what damage might have occurred in Ryan's oxygen-starved brain. He didn't want to know about the mild case scenario that had Ryan suffering from inattentiveness, poor judgment, seizures and motor in-coordination. By the time Doctor 'I don't give a shit about Ryan' went on to the worse case scenario… complete state of unawareness and unresponsiveness….Seth wanted to punch his smug face.

So he'd snapped and said what everyone was skirting around. Was Ryan going to ever be able to function again? His parents had looked at him as if that by mentioning it he was somehow cursing Ryan to that fate but Seth had to know because the possibility scared the shit out of him. Ryan was intelligent and strong; he was impervious to everything life had thrown at him and to end up. …like that… was unthinkable.

Doctor Smug had replied calmly and patronizingly that they really couldn't tell what damage might have occurred as there was no way of telling just how long Ryan hadn't been breathing. Only time would tell. But he was making 'progress.'

Great…fucking great, big woop-dee-doo.

So he was stuck in a corridor that smelt of pine disinfectant wondering what the hell was going on and trying to figure out how things had gone so wrong these past few months.

Ryan could hear everything going on around him, the electrical buzz of an overhead light, a machine that beeped every two seconds, the clatter of things being moved near his head. He could hear voices, strange voices both male and female saying his name over and over. And voices he recognized and they sounded like something had upset them. Sandy kept saying that things would be different and Kirsten repeated over and over that he needed to wake up.

Wake up?

He didn't understand.

He _was_ awake… he just couldn't seem to open his eyes or move but for some reason that didn't worry him. He just listened to what the voices had to say to him. This was a better place to be. He felt safe here.

**TBC.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: **Heist.  
**Author:****cheekymice**.**  
Rating: **Um…PG13-R later chapters will be a higher rating.**  
Beta: ****mel39**. Hugs and kisses Melly.**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.**  
Story: **As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay! All in the title really. Set post finale.**  
Notes:** For anyone who has left a review and anyone else who's been nudging me. Enjoy.

**Heist**

Chapter 9

Kirsten rubbed circles on the palm of Ryan's hand, slow methodical movements that she'd taken to using when sitting with her foster son. The nurses said that maintaining physical contact was important and so was talking, as they were never sure as to what coma patients could feel and hear. So Kirsten had taken to holding Ryan's hand as she spoke. She wondered what Ryan would make of the gesture. It was alien to be touching the normally guarded boy in such an intimate way but Kirsten had to admit that it was nice.

Finding things to say was getting increasingly difficult. There was something about hospitals that sucked all conversation from you at the best of times but when the person you were visiting was completely unresponsive it seemed ten times worse. Even Sandy was having difficulties and he usually never had a problem in that department. Four days and nights was a long time to fill with positive chatter. It struck her how little they still knew about Ryan. Trying to find anecdotes about his behavior and vignettes about their life together made them both realize that Ryan was still so insular, even after three years.

Sadness had struck both of them; they were almost triumphant when they remembered something happy that they could talk about. It seemed that most of their Ryan happy memories consisted of unpleasant times for him. The very events that brought him to them were hardly topics to dig up. It wasn't like she could say 'remember when your family imploded, your brother got sent away and your mom moved without telling you …and hey, eventually…you got to stay with us, wasn't that great?'

It _had_ been a blessing for them when Ryan joined their family but it was always at the back of her mind as to what cost that had been for Ryan.

Talking about how proud they were at his graduation was obviously out of the question, even though that day was one of her and Sandy's milestones and one of their happiest memories. What had come after was not. She knew that Ryan still hadn't really embraced Christmas, and so many other events were tainted with some form of tragedy for him that it was a veritable field of landmines that they had to pick their way across. So she sat and rubbed is hand and kept on safe but bland subjects, hoping that he was listening and could hear how much he was loved.

* * *

Kirsten let Sandy take over and went for a walk around the grounds to clear her head and to ring Seth. Her neck ached and she could feel a headache start to wrap itself in a tight band around her forehead. She was hoping the fresh air would help the tension she felt in every muscle in her body. She got her phone out and rang home. Seth picked up on the first ring as he'd taken to doing. The conversation was quick. She could hear the worry, frustration and concern in his voice as he told her to 'take care'. They had made a pact with their son that when he wasn't at the hospital himself they would ring him every hour with a progress report …not that there was ever any news to tell him other than to say that although Ryan was no better, he was no worse, which was all they could cling to. Seth was taking this hard. He wanted to spend more time with Ryan but they had discussed it and with only two visitors allowed at a time they felt it fell onto their shoulders as parents to sit with him at night and not his.

He'd sulked at first but Summer had sided with them. Ryan would want him fresh and not grouchy when he woke up, she said. Kirsten was thankful that the girl was helping; she knew what it was doing to Seth having to watch his friend, as he seemed to slip further away from them. Summer was managing to distract Seth by keeping him busy organizing 'projects' for when Ryan did wake up.

And he was going to wake up.

He was.

Even though the doctor said that each day he was unconscious was a worry. That was an understatement, to put it mildly. Each day he lay there, unmoving and looking so small, it was all Kirsten could do to stop from crying.

Kirsten felt at such a loss at times like today she wished that she could pass responsibility over to Seth and his easy chatter but that side of Seth had all but vanished since that morning in the bank. Even Sandy wasn't his usual self-assured self. They had all changed it seemed, but what scared her the most was how Ryan was going to come out of this.

She sat down on a bench and took deep breaths to compose herself. Take each day as it comes she told herself. She didn't care in what state Ryan emerged from this…. she just wanted him back.

* * *

Sandy leant forward. He had Ryan's hand – the one without the canular tube- in between both of his and he held tight. It was easier to talk when he was on his own. It shouldn't have been but it was. He suspected that Kirsten felt the same and that's why they both left each other for periods of time. He stared at Ryan for a time trying to blot out the machines by the bed and tubes. It was a cliché but if you blocked out the setting Ryan did look like he was sleeping.

"Do you remember that second night you were with us? You looked so smart in my old suit and so unsure of yourself even though you didn't want me to see. I watched as you worked that room, you played the Newpsies like a pro; you were so unlike the Ryan we came to know and love… putting on such a tough act but I could see that underneath it all you were so scared. Well kid I've got to say that over the years you've given me quite a few scares but I admit to you that right now I've never been more scared in my life. I don't know what I can do. I can't turn back the clock and I can't change any of this. This is no match for an old hack lawyer Ryan, I feel so useless…we need you…" Sandy swallowed. "I'm still not sure of who the real 'you' is and the thought that I'll never know…never find out..."

Sandy let his words hang in the air.

He jumped when he felt one of Ryan's fingers jolt in his hand.

Just when he thought he'd imagined it, it happened again, in, stronger this time. He held on to Ryan's hand with one hand and then rubbed the knuckles of his free hand firmly up and down his sternum the way the nurse told them to.

"Ryan…can you hear me? Wake up kid…"

The hand twitched again inside his and although it must be irritating the hell out of him – Sandy had tried it on himself and it hurt- he rubbed harder. Anything to prolong the reaction. This time Ryan's body arched slightly and Sandy could almost hear Ryan say 'geroff ' in the same sleepy tone he used when you had to wake him for school when he'd overslept.

Sandy rubbed harder still and this time there was no mistaking Ryan's annoyance. He frowned, an honest to goodness Ryan 'leave me alone' frown. Sandy dropped his hand and rushed out to the corridor, the call button by the bed forgotten in his excitement.

"Nurse…nurse." He knew he was shouting but he didn't care.

"Mr. Cohen?" Esther, Ryan's pretty Jewish nurse emerged from behind the nurse's station. The last time he'd visited Seth had tried to use sexual bribery on Ryan, telling him that he needed to wake up and check her out because she was right up his street, big brown eyes and dark wavy hair with a body that had the right amount of 'va va voom'. It had been worth a try but that seemed like a long time ago. Ryan had moved…several times actually, after days of immobility.

"My son…he…" Sandy took a gulp of air almost hyperventilating; Esther chose not to waste time on listening to him but rushed towards Ryan's room to see what was going on for herself.

"Sandy?" Kirsten rounded the corner back from her walk and started to run towards him. "What is it?"

"He moved." Sandy leant forward and put his hands on his knees.

"What?" Kirsten looked confused at the news. It was clear on her face that she had expected the worse.

"Ryan…. he moved his hand several times. I did the sternum rub thing that they showed us and he got pissed off with me. The doctors said that was a good sign didn't they…if he responded to that?"

Kirsten turned and swung open the door to his room. The nurse was checking his stats. She turned as Sandy caught up with her.

"We've got REM…I've paged Dr Clarke, he's on his way down." She started writing on his chart. "This is a good thing…he's becoming more aware of things around him. Look."

Sandy and Kirsten both took a side of the bed and watched Ryan. His face was impassive and they felt disappointment. Kirsten couldn't help herself and rubbed his breastbone. Ryan's eyelids flickered and his hand twitched.

" See… there." Sandy beamed.

"You might want to lay off that a bit." Esther gave them both a smile. "His chest is looking a little sore."

Kirsten gave a sheepish grin and looked down at Ryan. He had several electrode patches attached to his bare chest but between them the skin was looking a little red from the hard rubs they had been giving him. She laid her hand flat and gently stroked the skin.

"Sorry, sweetie…we just want you to come back to us."

She watched incredulously as Ryan's hand actually moved off the bed and impatiently tried to brush hers away. It may have been a completely dismissive act but it was the best thing she'd experienced in a long time.

She burst into tears. Sandy rushed to her side and hugged her. Neither of them took their eyes of Ryan.

* * *

It felt like a huge anti-climax when ten hours later they found themselves still sat by Ryan's bed just watching him again as he lay still. Doctor Clarke assured them that this was a step forward but now that Ryan was not responding again it just left them deflated.

They were so sure after he moved his hand that it was only a matter of time before he woke up.

* * *

Ryan felt like he was swimming through syrup. His limbs felt heavy and he felt tied down.

He was stuck between two worlds, one made up of reality and one, a mixed up dream world full of strangeness and confusion. Things made no sense in the dream world, one minute he'd be playing quarter back for the Denver Broncos and the next he was a wolf running in the desert. It was weird but it didn't make him anxious. He heard Sandy and Kirsten there…Seth and Summer too. They told him to wake up and they said nice things…soothing things to him that made him feel warm.

He preferred the dreams…it was the reality that was scaring him. He saw the accident again and again, the car rolling down the bank, the look in Marissa's eyes when she'd died, Trey getting shot, his mom being hit by his father, the faceless men that had hurt him, kneeling on the floor waiting for the sound of a bullet. But the worst memory by far was being in the black oppressive and asphyxiating heat of the safe deposit room. What if Seth and Sandy hadn't gotten out? Maybe they were dead.

He didn't want to wake up in case the voices he heard were lying to him. Maybe he wasn't safe. What if he was in that room still, choking and trying to catch his breath, feeling the panic as his lungs burned?

'_Wake up.'_

Ryan ignored the voice as it spoke softly in his ear.

'_Ryan.'_

He just wanted to sleep and dream. Think some more in case he was still in that bank vault, anything to put off waking up there in that airless heat.

"_Ryan…please…"_ The voice was asking…imploring him; he could hear the tears in her voice. He hated it when women pleaded with him and cried.

Something was prodding at his chest again. He wished they'd stop.

"_Mom, you're going to piss him off if you keep doing that."_

Seth? Seth wasn't in the dark with him. Seth wouldn't lie to him. It better not be him who was poking him in the chest, he knew better than that.

"_Mom…stop it. He's not going to wake up until he's ready. You told me that."_

Ryan blinked up into the bright light. He could hear Kirsten and Seth argue by the side of him.

He opened and shut his eyes several times. He was in a light, bright room that smelt of flowers. He was not in that fucking tomb anymore. He didn't think he was dreaming this time, this felt different.

He felt relief wash over him but the damn hand still rested on him even though it had stopped moving.

He grabbed at the hand and pushed it away from him.

He stared upwards and two faces came into slow focus.

"Oh God…He's awake!"

Kirsten was crying and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and he wondered why.

Seth looked like he'd done when he'd lost his virginity.

Why were they watching him sleep?

He shut his eyes as the glare from the overhead light penetrated through his confusion and made his head ache.

"Oh no…don't you dare, Ryan!" Kirsten sobbed. "Wake up."

He opened his eyes at her command and wondered why he was in trouble.

"Call the nurse, Seth…and your father," Kirsten instructed, and picked up his hand and held it up to her face, new tears starting to flow. He'd never pegged Kirsten as a crier before.

"Hey," Ryan said. His voice sounded gravely and hoarse. Maybe he'd had a cold.

"Hey, you," she replied.

Ryan swallowed and shut his eyes briefly and squeezed her hand.

He looked around him but couldn't figure out where he was. He felt thirsty but he had a greater need right now.

"I need a cigarette." And he did. The feeling was really strong. He could almost taste it. Kirsten seemed to think that was funny for some reason.

"As much as I disapprove… I'd happily buy you a packet right now. I think I'd even join you for one," she said as she laughed.

"That's a date," he muttered. He hadn't known that Kirsten had ever smoked. He felt his eyelids drop. "Sleepy."

"You've slept enough, young man. Try and stay awake…please."

"Huh?" he questioned before he felt heavy again.

"Just make sure you wake up again," she whispered.

His last thought was why wouldn't he wake up?

Ryan's eyes were closed again by the time Sandy and Seth came back with the nurse but it was different this time.

He snored.

It was a glorious sound.

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: **Heist.  
**Author:** cheekymice.  
**Rating:** Um…T - later chapters will be a higher rating.  
**Beta: ** mel39. Hugs and kisses Melly.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.  
**Story: **As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay! All in the title really. Set post finale.  
**Notes:** Once again thank you to everyone who reviewed. It means a lot to a review ho like me. :)

**Heist**

Chapter 10

Eleven days after the robbery and Ryan was coming home. Kirsten and Rosa were making up Ryan's bed up with fresh sheets ready for his arrival. It was almost too much to take. They were all so excited. Rosa had been baking all of Ryan's favorite things as soon as she'd arrived that morning and if he managed to eat even a quarter of the chocolate chip cookies, muffins and brownies Rosa had baked she'd be impressed, although the way Sandy and Seth had both been hovering over the cooling racks he'd be having more than a little help.

Ryan was alive and back with them and if he was a little too hesitant at times when answering questions he should easily know the answers to and if sometimes he repeated himself without realizing it then so be it. It could have been so much worse. Kirsten had read enough literature whilst he'd been unconscious to know that he had gotten off very lightly.

It was still a jolt though to see the normally sharp Ryan falter as he recited the alphabet to his therapist. He'd gotten there eventually but Kirsten could see the growing panic on his face as he struggled to find the information. She had deliberately not looked over at Sandy even though it was an automatic response to share her worry and she had bitten her tongue and not patronized him with an over enthusiastic 'well done' as he finally managed to reach zee after several false starts. She thought that Ryan had appreciated that and luckily Sandy had caught on.

"I bet you ten bucks that if you asked him to recite the current top twenty porn actresses in the industry he'd have no problems," her husband had joked. Ryan had blushed, held his hand out for Sandy to tap and laughed. The therapist had joined in and said maybe she should tailor make the tests according to age instead of using the medical standard.

Monique, his therapist, said that sometimes all the brain needed after a trauma was retraining – Kirsten liked the fact that she only used the phrase 'trauma' and not 'brain damage' like Doctor Clarke had. Brain damage due to oxygen starvation…no one liked to hear that diagnosis especially not an eighteen year old that was off to Berkeley soon. Ryan had immediately reacted to that diagnosis by withdrawing from them. They had learnt enough about how self-reliant Ryan was to know that the thought that this might be a permanent thing crushed him.

Luckily his therapist was more positive. Exercise the brain was her motto. Crosswords, math problems and jigsaw puzzles helped with concentration and in many cases it was possible to gain a considerable, if not vast improvement. Anything that stimulated his brain was good; he had relaxed even more when she said that even the PS2 counted as valid therapy. Both Kirsten and Sandy felt relieved that he'd been given something to cling onto. Even if he didn't improve then at least he had something positive to focus on over these difficult first months.

It was incredible how resilient Ryan was. At her words Sandy and Kirsten had seen him physically square up and decide that he was going to beat this.

He once again made them proud that he was one of the family.

* * *

Ryan sat on his bed at the hospital and punched his leg hard; when the pain that shot up his thigh dulled he did it again. He bit the inside of his cheek and breathed deeply. Everyone was so damn happy, so damn grateful that he was 'awake' and he was coming home but he was dreading it. In here he could wing it, here he could pretend that things were good. It sacred him to think that when he got home they'd notice the things he'd been trying to cover up. When he was a young kid they'd ragged on old Mrs. Guggenheim from down the street. Sometimes she used to walk to the shops still wearing her bathrobe and slippers, she put her Christmas decorations up in June and she called them all 'Stuart', even the girls in the group. It had seemed funny to his eight-year-old self. She was just crazy old Mrs. Guggenheim who they would poke fun at with the confidence and callousness of youth. It was only as he'd gotten older that he realized that she'd been suffering early onset Alzheimer's…she had in fact only been fifty-nine. She wore her night things out because she simply forgot to get dressed and she decorated her house for the holidays because in her mind it was December already.

And that's what scared him. He was Mrs. Guggenheim, he could relate to her confusion now and there was nothing funny about it. He wondered if she, like him, had moments of clarity when it hit her what she was doing. He saw the look on the Cohens' faces when he got their names wrong and it took him a couple of seconds to realize what he'd done. He'd get up to use the bathroom only to forget why he was standing. He'd say he was just stretching his legs when he noticed Kirsten looking at him, as he stood in the center of the room unsure of why he was there.

And he couldn't remember if he'd said things out loud or if he'd just thought them. If he wasn't sure he didn't say anything now. Seth's laughter yesterday had cut deep when he'd said,

'Dude, that's the third time in a row you've asked the same question.'

He knew that Seth didn't mean anything by it, that they were taking the route of not making a big deal out of these things but when you genuinely couldn't remember asking the first time let alone the second or third… it hit him with a freefall feeling that scared him to death. So now he didn't say anything if he was unsure. Then he became obsessed with the thought that he was still repeating things out loud even though he was trying not to.

The thing that worried him most though was the inability to take the dark. It had been fine when he was in the ICU department, and then the Step Down unit because the lights had been left on all the time but the past two nights he'd been in a regular room and they turned the lights off each night at eight forty-five. The first night it had happened he felt paralyzed. He was right back in that claustrophobic vault and it had taken all his rationality to negotiate his body out of the spiraling and irrational fear it found itself in.

They had talked about the robbery and what had happened and why. It was there in Ryan's mind. He could remember everything but it was a fragmented jumble of events that he had problems fitting together. Everyone seemed encouraged that he could remember anything and it was like his 'other' behavior, they told him that he was doing good, that it would get better.

The second night he'd prepared himself. It had just been a shock, a flash back and nothing more. Now that he was prepared it would be okay. Except it hadn't been. The nurse had said goodnight and switched off the light and the trapped feeling had immediately flooded his body just the same as before; he was right back in that oppressive heat, unable to breathe, unable to see, knowing that he was going to die. This was new to him. He'd felt fear before but he'd never been scared of something that wasn't tangible in some shape or form and he'd always managed to subjugate any apprehensions in the past.

The dark used to be his friend. Night was the time he reflected on things, the time he worked stuff out in his head and the place he had always felt safest from the world. Now that had been taken away from him. He'd spent the rest of the night dozing on the bathroom floor with the light on, only emerging when dusk filtered through the blinds. He was back in his bed smiling when the nurse brought his meds and his morning pep talk. Part of him wanted to talk to someone about it. He knew he wasn't stupid even though his brain was doing its best to make him appear so. He knew what this was about but how do you tell people as an eighteen year old that you are now scared of the dark? It went against all his sensibilities to admit to something like that.

He felt vulnerable enough right now.

And now he was going home and he was dreading it. No one had mentioned yet how he'd almost gotten Sandy killed. He figured they were just placating the mental case at the moment.

* * *

"So, how's he doing now?" Summer asked.

"He's good, he's still whooping my ass on the PS2 so there is nothing wrong with his hand to eye coordination," Seth laughed as he ushered Summer into the house. "He's looking forward to seeing you."

They found Ryan in the kitchen reading the newspaper as Kirsten chopped vegetables and Sandy marinated steaks.

"Atwood..." Summer hugged his shoulders. "Looking good, tired but good."

"Hey." Ryan smiled.

"Don't you dare do anything like that again. You scared the fu…hell out of us." Summer blushed and looked over to where the older Cohens stood but they were pretending they hadn't heard and Ryan chuckled at her slip.

"I'll try not to…" he said quietly.

"Good, you are too damn precious to us. God knows what Cohen would do without you. Who else could I trust to help me rein in his dorkish tendencies?" Summer leant in close.

"And besides I've grown kinda fond of you, you know."

"Hey, stop hitting on my brother, woman!" Seth grinned.

"Did you just call me 'woman'?" Summer put her hands on her hips and stuck out her chest.

"Son… will you never learn?" Sandy looked mock disappointed.

Ryan felt relaxed for the first time since he'd gotten home two days ago. This was normal.

Ryan watched Sandy grilling the steaks on the patio, Seth keeping up the banter constantly, even when it was time to eat.

"…then I ran over his foot on my skateboard. He was not pleased, was he, mom? Grandpa threatened to confiscate my board but dad stepped in and said he'd punish me. I seem to remember you took me out for ice-cream that night dad."

"The look of pain on Caleb's face was worth the triple chocolate Sundae you ordered and all the vomit I had to clean off the upholstery of my car."

"Sandy…you said that you gave him a good talking to about skateboarding in the house and sent him to his room!"

Sandy beamed.

Ryan smiled and shook his head. He turned to Summer and asked her to pass the bread.

Summer looked at him for a beat before handing him the basket. Ryan took a roll and broke it open. As he mopped up some ketchup and chewed he noticed that the table had gone quiet. He swallowed.

"What did I do?"

Kirsten took a gulp of her water.

"Nothing sweetie."

Ryan looked around the table.

"Tell me...what did I do this time?"

Summer looked embarrassed.

"Look, it's no big deal…you…you called me Marissa."

Ryan looked down at his plate and started picking his bread roll into tiny pieces.

"Hey, at least you got the right sex! Summer, he called me Dawn yesterday," Seth laughed, but it sounded forced to Ryan's ears.

Ryan dropped his bread and picked his napkin off his lap.

"I'm going to lie down." He balled the napkin up and threw it on the table.

"Ryan…" Sandy started at the same time as Kirsten spoke.

"You haven't even finished your meal."

"I'm tired," he said…and he was. Tired of all this and it hadn't even been two days yet.

"Dude, it's okay…it was just a slip of the tongue." Seth got up and grabbed his arm, stopping him from walking.

He turned around sharply.

"How is this okay, Seth? I'm supposed to be going to Berkeley…. how the fuck am I going to do that if I can't even get people's names right? It took me an hour to figure out that I'd put my shoes on without my socks this morning. What the hell else am I doing that I don't now about?" Ryan knew he was borderline shouting.

"Hey, hey, Ryan." Sandy got up and took over from Seth. "It's early days…your therapist is confidant that this will get better in time. You've only been out of hospital for two days. Give it time."

"What if it's not, Sandy? What if this is as good as it gets?"

"Then we'll deal with it." Sandy bounced back. "As a family."

Ryan looked down at his boots before looking Sandy in the eye.

"Sandy. I'm a fucking retard now…face it."

"Ryan!" Kirsten gasped.

"Dude." Seth sounded hurt.

Ryan looked at their faces.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm just tired." Ryan turned and walked over to the pool house. He shut the door gently and lay down on his bed.

What if this _was_ as good as it gets? How long would it take for them to get fed up with baby-sitting him?

**TBC.**

Hope you enjoyed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Title: **Heist.  
**Author:****cheekymice**.**  
Rating: **Um…PG13-R later chapters will be a higher rating.**  
Beta: ****melanie39**. Hugs and snogs Melly.**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.**  
Story: **As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay! All in the title really. Set post finale.**  
Notes:** For **m3kane** because he keeps me so entertained in the mornings at work and it's much appreciated! mwah. And for everyone who reviewed. I love ya.  
**Heist**

Chapter 11

- -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - --

Seth woke up with a start and looked at his alarm.

"Hey…you awake?" Ryan's head appeared around the corner, illuminated by the hall light.

"Dude, it's like… twelve-thirty. I was asleep."

"Sorry. I thought you might still be up. I'll go."

Seth rubbed his eyes and sat up. He realized two things. The first that he'd been asleep for less than twenty minutes, and as tired as he felt, the second was that Ryan had come to him. Ryan never came to him. And after the episode at dinner it was obvious that Ryan was not dealing as well as they thought.

"I'm awake now. What's up?"

"Nothing. I just couldn't sleep." Ryan shrugged.

"Come in and park your butt." Seth sat up in bed and winced as Ryan turned on the light.

"Whoa dude…. that's harsh. Switch it off." Seth shielded his eyes.

The room went dark again and Seth opened his eyes.

"Can we watch the TV?" Ryan asked but before he could answer the set was on, casting a blue hazy light into the room. Ryan stood in the center of the room flicking through the channels. That in it self was odd, Ryan hated it when he did that. Ryan was a decisive guy. If he saw something he liked he'd stop and not be swayed by the lure that something better may be on elsewhere. Then he said something that was totally left field for Ryan.

"You got any weed left?"

"Huh?" Seth blinked.

"Weed…you got any left?" He put the remote down. The TV was on a Spanish subtitled film that Seth was pretty sure Ryan was not into. He looked antsy, as if he was willing Seth to come through for the sake of his sanity.

"I really need a cigarette. I've been seriously craving ever since the hospital. I need to smoke something or I'm going to climb the walls."

"Now that I can help you with, my friend." Seth got up and scrabbled through his computer desk. He threw a pack of Marlboros over to Ryan. They landed about two feet away from him. There was a good reason he never got picked to play softball.

Ryan bent down and all but kissed the packet. With lightning fast speed the packet was open and one was in his mouth. Seth handed him the lighter. This was a new Ryan. Ryan never usually asked for anything. He definitely never pleaded.

Ryan opened the window wide.

"Do you mind?" he asked, around the cigarette.

"Nope."

Seth watched as Ryan lit and inhaled deeply, holding the smoke in his lungs and tilting his head back. He looked like he was in a complete state of bliss.

"I didn't know you smoked."

Seth got back into bed.

"I don't. They're Summer's…she likes to have one after we…" Seth grinned.

Ryan gave a low chuckle.

"She won't mind," Seth added.

Seth watched as Ryan smoked, his head half out the window. After Ryan had left the table earlier everyone had been worried and mortified that Ryan had felt that way. He wasn't a retard. He functioned well; he could hold an intelligent conversation just like he'd always done. He just had moments when he appeared to be miles away and there were the times when he got confused about the time lines of things. He seemed to think that the whole getting Theresa pregnant thing happened before he came to live with them and other things he said made them realize that things were a little muddled in his head. To anyone who didn't know him he would appear to be one hundred percent normal. It was just Ryan was always so…so…with it. To see him put the milk in the cupboard instead of back in the fridge was wrong and to be quite honest none of them knew how best to treat Ryan's lapses. Was it best to ignore them or make a joke? One thing they all agreed on was that this was not fair. Why did it have to happen to Ryan so soon on the heels of Marissa dying? It wasn't as if he didn't have enough shit already to contend with. Summer had summed it up with one statement. 'The albatross of doom had shat once again on Ryan's head.'

Ryan stubbed out the cigarette on the sill, looked around then put the butt in his pocket.

"You okay after the whole thing earlier?" Seth asked.

"Yeah…I was just tired and kinda frustrated." Ryan sat down on the floor.

"You sure about that? You were pretty angry."

Ryan turned the packet of cigarettes over and over in his hands. Seth was expecting Ryan's stock brush off but he didn't get it. Instead he got a glimpse of the real Ryan, Ryan without the usual impenetrable barriers up. He hadn't even let them down when Marissa had died but here he was being honest. It shocked Seth but it also made him feel validated as a friend.

"To be truthful, Seth… no…I'm not okay." Ryan lit another cigarette. "I just don't know how to handle this. I _do_ feel like a fucking retard. I know what the doctors say…that this will get better but what does that mean? That I'll maybe only repeat myself twice in the future?"

"Dude, you're _not_ a retard. Seriously, it's not so bad; you're way more together than the stoners at school. Shit, they don't know what day of the week it is let alone their own names." Seth paused as Ryan managed a slight smile at that. "And as dad said, it is early days. You always expect too much of yourself."

"But I'm so fucking scared, Seth." Ryan looked down at the floor. "What if it gets worse instead of better?"

Hmm, Ryan admitting he wasn't made of stone. This was strange. Ryan stubbed out the cigarette even though it was half smoked.

"If it gets worse then we'll deal Ryan…simple as that."

"I don't want you or your parents to have to 'deal' with me Seth." Ryan's words were so quiet that Seth barely caught them.

"Hey, don't put words into my mouth…you know that's not what I meant." Seth frowned. "Whatever happens we'll be with you…all for one and one for all."

"Yeah…that's the Three musketeers, Seth…. good analogy. Where exactly do I fit in that picture?"

"Well, my good man, you clearly don't know your Dumas. You would be the daring hero of the piece, D'Artagnan. I'm Porthos clearly, Dad is Athos and that would make Mom Aramis…I'm not sure that works but you get the idea."

Seth watched as Ryan gave a grudging smile. He pulled another cigarette out of the packet and put it between his lips but he didn't light it. He sat flicking the lighter.

"Dude…you're totally the daring hero of the story…good with the ladies and not afraid to fight. Yours truly, Mom, and Dad are your back ups, swords at the ready with a side order of faux French bonhomie thrown in."

Ryan snorted and shook his head. He smiled but then grew serious again.

"That's easily said Seth, but you've known me for how long…three years?"

"Three years…smears. You are one of us now amigo. And we Cohens don't 'deal'. We're a team, D'Artagnan. Plus this tale of Newport/Chino bonding isn't finished yet, although we seriously need to re-cast a Cardinal Richelieu as Grandpa kinda left an opening there."

That comment did draw out a laugh from Ryan.

"And you do know that my parents are totally relying on you for their first grandchild." Seth cringed internally at that one; maybe it was too soon to joke about stuff like that.

Ryan raised his eyebrow.

"I don't intend on having kids for a long time, a very long time." Ryan said, the cigarette dangling between his lips.

"I'm just saying what my 'rent's long term plan is for you. My dad is already buoyant with the thought that your sport genes will be passed on in the family as I am….not so good in that department."

Ryan lit up and stood by the window again. Chain smoking Ryan...that was new too. He stared out and was silent. Seth stayed silent for a couple of minutes letting his words sink in. Seth had never really given it much thought before but now that Ryan was talking it was still clear on his face that he really still doubted his place here. After all they'd been through as a family he'd taken it as a given that Ryan had settled with them.

"Dude, you do know that you're a fully paid up member of this family. You can't still doubt that?"

Ryan stayed silent and stared. Seth thought that the window of opportunity had slammed shut and Ryan's strangely talkative persona tonight had vanished along with the smoke that was drifting out of the window.

What he said next made him rethink.

Ryan flicked the butt out of the window. Seth vaguely wondered if it had landed in the pool. Ryan still looked out of the window but his words slammed into him as if he'd been facing him.

"You said it yourself, Seth. You're the Three Musketeers….I'm D'Artagnan, the outsider that muscles in. I'm always going to be on the outside, no matter what happens. You're the family unit, I'm just along for the ride."

Seth suddenly hated his analogy and he fucking hated that his subconscious chose that crappy French book out of all the books in the world.

* * *

"He's not there Sandy. I've looked everywhere!" Kirsten snapped. "His bed hasn't even been slept in. I knew we should have talked to him last night."

"Honey, relax. He's around here somewhere." But he was less confident than he portrayed. "Have you checked the den?"

"Yes, I've checked the den. What do you think I've been doing?"

"We'll find him, okay?" Sandy put his hands on her shoulders. "Have you spoken to Seth yet?"

His wife shook her head.

"Come on."

They both walked upstairs to Seth's room. Sandy opened the door and walked in with Kirsten following. They both stopped in their tracks.

Sandy turned and smiled at his wife. She was busy crinkling her nose at the smell of stale smoke.

Seth was tangled under his covers but Ryan was sound asleep on the floor under the window, his head buried in one of Seth's pillows and a blanket covering his feet.

Kirsten walked over and pulled the blanket up over his body and picked up the almost empty packet of Marlboros that sat next to him. She pursed her lips but Sandy noticed that she put the packet back down and managed to smile.

"Mystery solved." he whispered and crept over to switch the TV off.

Seth sat bolt upright.

"Whaaa." He blinked at them and looked like he did when he was five. "What are you both doing in my room? Thas' minty."

"We're just searching for Ryan, son." Sandy whispered and nodded at the sleeping mass on the floor.

"Oh." Seth said as he looked where Ryan slept and rubbed his eyes. He grew serious. "About that, I think we need to have a parental conference."

Seth got up and grabbed his robe. Sandy had never seen his son get up so quickly. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Right now." Seth ushered them out of his room.

Sandy looked at Kirsten. She looked just as worried. Seth did not usually do the family talk thing willingly especially this early in the morning.

* * *

"_He still thinks that he doesn't belong here. Don't you get that? No matter what we've done or how much we've told him otherwise, he thinks he's just passing through. And now he thinks we are going to give up on him because he can't remember our names sometimes. And I'm sure he thinks he's on some sort of scholarship with us that hinges on him going to college and now that he's worried that might not happen he thinks he's reneged on his contract or something. How can he still think that? It's messed up but then I started to think…we tell him he's part of this family but do we really show him? No…we don't. We leave him alone when he needs us most because we think that's what he wants. After Marissa died we let him hole up in his room for weeks because we didn't know how to handle him. It was the same when Trey got shot and when Theresa got pregnant you just let him go and be a big man because he said that's what he thought he needed to do. Ryan does these things because he's Ryan and we all let him because it's Ryan. We say that he's one of us but would you have let me go off and support a kid at that age? No! And would you have let me stay in my room with no real outside contact for weeks if it was Summer who had died? No. We do what we think Ryan wants but we push him further away every time we do. I'm surprised that he doesn't hate us as he's constantly trying to chase his tail to please us and we don't do anything for him. I've been thinking about this most of the night. I've been a shit friend and I've only just understood that. We offer so much but…we fuck up all the time. You treat Ryan differently from me and he sees that each and every day and takes that as a sign that he's still the outsider. You didn't see him last night. This is real to him... he really believes that we'll dump him now things have gotten bad. So what are we going to do about this 'cause he's talking about ditching college and moving out so as not to be a burden."_

Hearing Seth say those words shook Sandy. Their son being so earnest over this, even though he was rambling, was what made it more shocking. Seth was not known for his great insight into people; he could be self-absorbed to say the least. It was true. They did treat Ryan differently. They certainly didn't read between the lines when it came to Ryan.

When Seth was a kid he could sulk for his country but they didn't let him, they certainly wouldn't have let him stay in his room only to be dragged out for food. Okay so not getting the latest toy of the month was a little different than what Ryan had gone through but even so. Ryan distanced himself from them so many times before they just took it as normal for him. They had given Ryan his space maybe a bit too much on reflection. They should know by now that Ryan was complex and read bad things into everything.

Sandy looked over at Kirsten and saw she was just as crestfallen at Seth's speech.

The question was could they do anything to reverse the damage?

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

**Title: **Heist.  
**Author:****cheekymice**.**  
Rating: **Um…PG13-R later chapters will be a higher rating.**  
Beta: ****mel39**. Hugs and snogs Melly, as always**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.  
**Story: **As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay!!! All in the title really. Set post finale.**  
Notes:** Thanks for being so good at waiting for this. mwah...this chapter is 5,071 words. Blimey, how'd I manage that :)

**Heist**

_Chapter 12_

Ryan woke up feeling a damned sight better than he should have done after a night spent asleep on Seth's floor. His back ached but his head felt a whole lot clearer. He didn't quite know why he'd opened up to Seth. Hell, he couldn't even remember half of what he'd said, but it had felt good, even though he felt as embarrassed as hell that he had. It had almost been like the times when he and Trey used to stay up late and talk when they'd first moved to Chino – before Trey had turned into a trainee asshole and found a gang to hang around with, that was, and their talks had become few and far between. Seth, for once in his life, had listened to him and hadn't overreacted to anything he'd said. Who knew? Maybe they had moved on in their relationship, maybe Seth had finally grown up? Ryan folded the blanket and put it on the end of Seth's bed with the pillow that had also mysteriously appeared at some point in the night. After his talk with Seth things seemed less complicated. Maybe things would be okay after all. He checked his watch. It was lunchtime, which would account for why he felt so refreshed, considering he and Seth had sat up until after three in the morning talking. He pocketed the remaining cigarettes and made his way downstairs.

All three Cohens were sitting at the breakfast table when he entered.

"It lives! Did you sleep well?" Seth grinned.

Ryan made his way to the coffee pot, poured himself a cup and sat down. They all looked at him with unreadable expressions. Kirsten was the first to speak.

"So...you started smoking again?"

Ryan swallowed.

"Sorry, they came looking for you and couldn't help notice that my room smelt like the bottom of an ashtray." Seth grimaced. "I tried to tell them that someone in the vicinity must have had a bonfire in the night but the packet of Marlboro by your hand was a dead give away."

Kirsten folded her arms and shook her head. She would have looked stern but for the ghost of a smile on her face.

"You're eighteen now so I suppose we can't stop you even though we're not happy about this. We've talked and we have certain rules. No smoking in the house from now on Ryan, and no openly smoking at any functions please."

Ryan blinked.

"Um, sorry. Is that it?" There had to be a catch here. Seth was looking equally stunned.

"That's it." Kirsten stated. Ryan frowned.

Both Cohens looked at each other and smiled.

"Don't buy it, Ryan, it's a trap. They've got something up their sleeves." Seth narrowed his eyes and looked at his parents.

Sandy and Kirsten smiled enigmatically.

"They've signed you up to nicotine anonymous. A full five step program, the works." Seth grinned.

"Seth…" Kirsten warned." Go and freshen up, Ryan, and I'll make you some lunch."

Ryan retreated, not quite sure what had just gone on.

* * *

He hadn't meant to walk so far. The sky had been azure blue when he'd set off but now it was turning dark. He didn't want to turn back even though the lack of moonlight and the lengthening shadows were starting to freak him out. He could beat this stupid childish fear. It was just the dark. Everything was the same as it was in the day. This was beyond stupid. Maybe this was what he needed? There was no get out here, no light switch to turn on, no Seth to run to. He had to face his fear head on and maybe that's what he needed.

The sound of the surf breaking on the sand was doing its best to soothe the jitters he felt and he liked the solitude after days of being watched. Ryan had the unsettling feeling that Seth had blabbed to his parents yesterday about their late night talk. He was kind of pissed off. Didn't Seth know that some things were sacrosanct and late night talks fell under that remit? It was too much of a coincidence for Seth not to have spilled his guts, the Cohens tentative talk of Berkeley and how he could defer his place if he didn't feel up to going just yet, and it would be a blessing for them as it would lessen the empty nest syndrome. They'd both been dreading both their 'boys' leaving. They both kept pushing the point home that he was one of them at every turn and to Ryan's ears it sounded kind of hollow. He wanted to believe, he really did, but somehow hearing how much he was part of this family only after being prompted, well that kind of sucked and did nothing to quell his doubts.

Ryan took out one of the last of Summer's post coital cigarettes and lit it as he walked, cupping his hand against the light breeze that swept off the surf. He forced himself onwards; he had to be at least three miles from home now but he wanted to test himself. He could feel the sweat prickle along his spine and his heart rate was starting to climb. Shit. He sucked the smoke into his lungs and looked behind him. Things were starting to close in and the creeping feeling of paranoia enveloped him. Okay, the idea that now was the time to face his demons quick fled with the enclosing darkness. He couldn't do this…not yet. He admitted defeat and turned around before it got too dark and he freaked out big time because as much as he hated to admit it he could feel himself losing it.

He walked a little way and saw one of the cliff paths; he started to run, his boots losing traction and slipping in the sand, suddenly needing nothing more than to get up on the road and near the streetlights. Sand gave way to gravel as he jogged up the slope. At the top he stumbled as he rounded the corner. He wasn't looking where he was going and hit something hard. That something squeaked and dropped several bags. He didn't stop to look at who he'd run into, instead he dropped to his knees, picking up fallen debris, glad of having something else to focus on.

"Ryan?"

Ryan snapped his head up.

"Ryan, what are you doing out here?"

"Hey." Ryan responded. He'd never been more pleased to see anyone in a long time. One thing his stupid phobia was doing was making him more sociable.

"What are you doing out here all on your own…no Seth?" Taylor looked around. "Have you escaped from the Cohens'? I did try and visit but they said you needed a little quiet time and I think they were scared I'd drive you to a relapse."

"I'd have loved to see you, Taylor. If I can put up with Seth then everything else pales into insignificance." She beamed at that and he smiled back, more in relief that he'd gotten her name right and, as yet, not fucked up and made her think he was brain dead. "And they do know I'm out." He wasn't lying. They did know that. The fact that he'd been out for longer than he'd and they'd probably expected was neither here nor there at this moment, he was just pleased to see a friendly face.

"I'm just off to a party." Taylor flicked her hair and nodded to the bags she carried. "I'm organizing the party games."

Ryan raised an eyebrow. In his book the best party games were played without props.

"So…. do you want to come? Keep me company?" Taylor all but scuffed the toe of her shoe in the dirt as she asked, trying to look nonchalant.

"I'd love to but I've got to ring first and let the Cohens know I've got a chaperone."

"Excellent." Taylor gave a little jump.

The call to the Cohens was fairly pain free. Sandy scolded him for not calling sooner but said it was fine if he stayed with Taylor, as long as she brought him home and he didn't stay out too late. The fact that he'd just come out of hospital was mentioned and Kirsten's voice was heard in the background telling him not to over tire himself. Okay, so the word party was never mentioned, he pretty much figured that would be a no no although he couldn't really see what the problem would be. Either way he was out and spending time with Taylor so the end result was the same.

"It's cool, but I can't stay for too long." He flipped his phone shut.

"It's Billy McGeehan's eighteenth. He's having a beach party over by Bookers Point. He asked about you…well everybody has really. We were worried." She looked slightly embarrassed. "I was really worried. It's great to see you up and about, Ryan."

Ryan took her bags. "Thanks Taylor, it's good to see you too." He put an arm around her and gave her a hug and the strangest thing happened, a fizzy frisson of burgeoning desire zapped him in the stomach as his arm touched her. Maybe it was just relief to be with someone after his mini-freak out. Either way he kept his arm around her as they walked and she didn't try and shrug him off.

The party was in full swing when they made it onto the beach. Someone had built a huge fire and there were about a million church candles on top of up turned crates. Blankets were laid out on the sand, most had half the beach on already but the people making out on them didn't seem to care. Beer kegs dotted the ground. Billy even had a makeshift bar area which was the open trunk of a Hummer. Even in Newport a beach party had a certain amount of class.

A beer miraculously appeared in his hand and a grinning jock swayed in front of him.

"Yo Atwood…." Ryan couldn't remember his name but he suspected that he wouldn't have before the 'incident'. "Hey everyone it's Atwood. See? I told you he wasn't a vegetable in hospital."

Ryan tensed and Taylor whispered that he was just drunk and to ignore him. People turned to look at him; several people came over and patted him on the back.

"We'd heard that you'd gone all 'Rainman' on us, that you couldn't even go to the bathroom on your own, needed someone to wipe your ass" The jock all but shouted and brayed at his lightning humor.

"Well, considering Dustin Hoffman was portraying autism I can't see how Ryan would suddenly develop that after being in a coma, you jerk." Taylor jumped in; she shook her head and looked pissed, saving Ryan from having to punch the guy for his stupidity and lack of intelligence.

More people crowded them asking how he was. Several jokes were made as to his supposed vegetate condition and Ryan tried not to rise to it, most were just joking and didn't mean any offence. He tried to answer with one-word answers. His head was swimming with forgotten names and where the fuck he knew half these people from. He'd learnt since he'd woken up from the coma that when he got uptight his memory and speech got worse so he tried to keep things simple. Taylor helped him by speaking as much as possible but he still managed to fuck up and cause people to look embarrassed. He jumbled his words a couple of times too often and the more he tried not to the worse it got. He wanted the ground to open up under him. His arm tightened around Taylor. This was a bad idea. Sympathetic looks and pity started to creep onto people's faces as they started to figure out the extent of his problem. Taylor once again came to his rescue and he felt a rush of gratitude to this girl that he didn't really know.

"Whoa, how much have you had to drink, Ryan?" Taylor laughed and made a show of taking away his half finished beer. "I guess that's me driving again."

Ryan caught onto what she was implying and leant into her heavily. His old classmates started to relax once more now that they could put his poor speech down to too much alcohol. That was something they could understand. Mention brain damage and it got people nervous, but if you chose to fry your brain with too many drugs and too much booze that was fine…. positively something to be proud of as a teen. But Ryan had had enough of it and pulled Taylor away down the beach to catcalls and shouted innuendos.

They walked away from the main party in silence. Ryan spotted a rock and sat down to try and gather himself. Fuck, he was shaking like a leaf.

"You okay?" Taylor asked concerned as she sat next to him. "They're just ignorant jerks, don't let them upset you."

Ryan leant forward and breathed deeply through his nose, his nostrils flaring with the effort to calm down. Taylor placed her hand on his back and rubbed slow methodical circles. It was a strangely maternal gesture but it felt good.

"Grant's an idiot." Taylor stated. "His IQ is less than an amoeba."

Ryan sighed. It was all very well to keep telling him his problem was hardly noticeable but in his book the acid test had been tonight and he'd failed. His peers had been frankly honest in their reactions and it made him realize that those closest to him were just being kind.

"I need you to be honest with me Taylor. How bad is it? I mean half the time I don't know I'm making mistakes or spacing out. It scares me."

Taylor stopped stroking his back and paused before answering.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah….please. I can't get a straight answer. My therapist says that the damage is marginal and will get better. The Cohens and Summer are pussy footing around me like I'm made of glass but I need to know. Please Taylor, I think you'll be honest with me."

Taylor pulled away and studied him. Ryan pulled out his cigarettes, more for something to dampen the severity of his question and maybe her answer, than for real desire, and offered one to Taylor, not expecting her to take one. Taylor immediately took one and he leant over and lit it for her. She was obviously no stranger to smoking and that somehow endeared her more to him right now, it put her down nearer to his level, less perfect. He wouldn't have pegged her for polluting her body. He gave a slight smile as the thought flashed through his mind inappropriately that a mongrel like him might actually have a shot.

She flicked the end of her cigarette as he lit his own. She started speaking, her voice soft and nothing like its usual strident tone.

"Seth rang me when you were in the hospital in a flap and said you were bad. You know how Seth is and I really didn't know what to expect. I was apprehensive of visiting you because of what he said and what you'd be like but to be honest I think you're doing great." She paused and took a lady like drag on her smoke. "My grandmother suffered a mild stroke five years ago and she sounded a bit like you at the moment, but after six months she was pretty much back to normal, well as normal as a hundred and fifty pound half German lunatic from Long Island can be. I know you must hate having to lean on people but you've got to learn to let people close to you in. Let them know this is hitting you hard and don't hide behind your scowl."

Ryan took a deep drag on his cigarette.

"You do scowl a lot…a whole lot." Taylor repeated.

"Is that so?" Ryan laughed.

"Yeah, you don't fool me but…"

Ryan tensed. Of course, there was always a 'but'.

"You've changed. I'm not talking about your speech. You seem less…um…less 'closed'."

Ryan's head snapped up and he looked Taylor in the eye.

"I've known you for a year Ryan, and to be quite honest at first I thought you acted superior to us. You were so quiet and watchful I thought you were judging us…me. In time Seth let slip about your past and I realized that it was just your way of protecting yourself. You're usually the archetypal iceman, guarded and locked behind your own private shell but…. but this evening you, you're different. I can't put my finger on it. I mean I know you're feeling low and you normally wouldn't want to spend time with me but I've got to say I like this side of you. You scare me less."

"I scared you?" Ryan's heart sunk. Here we go again, he thought. Why the hell did people feel that emotion around him? He remembered Marissa telling him more than once that he scared her. That depressed him. Taylor must have seen his face because she backtracked quickly.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, Ryan. I don't mean 'scare' as in the Freddy Kruger type way but you did intimidate me. You were …" Taylor faltered, embarrassed, suddenly unsure of what she was going to say. She finished the sentence. "…untouchable."

"Untouchable?" He snorted. That made him smile.

Taylor gave a little smile of her own.

"What I mean is …I always felt that you thought I was too stupid and vapid for words. I took your silence for indifference but I realized tonight that you, Ryan Atwood, are really quite shy underneath that hard exterior and you don't like people finding that out, do you? I love it when you scowl and look menacing but I know you are a big pussycat really."

Taylor gave him a big smile.

"Tonight you've treated me like an equal and you've made me feel like…like a friend."

"You are a friend, Taylor." Ryan tried to wrack his brain for any indication he might have given Taylor to the contrary.

"But before, you'd never actually talked to me. You're different now, more open. Seth's noticed it too."

Ryan scuffed the sand with his foot. What was it with Seth at the moment that he felt he had to broadcast everything he said or did? Ryan looked at her profile. She really was quite cute.

"I like it." Taylor said and looked briefly at him then away at the sea.

Even in the dark Ryan could see she was blushing. He was suddenly very aware of Taylor. Her thigh was barely touching his, which in itself shouldn't have made him breathe deeply but it did. Ryan followed Taylor's lead and silently looked out at the waves as they gently flowed onto the shore. They could hear the party going on just around the cove, shouts and flashes of music carried on the wind. Taylor shifted and her leg brushed his, sending a pulse straight to his dick. He swallowed and wondered where this was going. He didn't often misread situations when it came to women and he was pretty sure that Taylor had been subtly telling him that she was into him. The thing was that, until tonight, he had never given her a thought but here on the beach it seemed like a really good idea. He felt disloyal to even think it but in the past forty or so minutes Taylor had made more astute observations about him than Marissa had in three damn years.

He felt Taylor shiver. He paused for a moment contemplating what he was about to do, because he knew from past experiences what would probably happen. Did he really want this? The growing tightness in his pants told him he did but was it a good idea right now? Since the accident it was like someone had given him a shot of novocaine to the brain and decisions that should have come easily became clogged up like they'd been immersed in porridge. She shivered again and he threw caution to the wind. There would be enough time for thoughts another day, tonight this felt right.

He sat forward and pulled his jacket off. Taylor watched as he righted the sleeves. He shook it and settled the jacket over her shoulders. The move put him directly in front of her, his face inches from hers. He paused and stared at Taylor letting his eyes roam her face. She didn't pull back from him or break the delicious anticipation that the silence had woven between them instead she moved her head slightly nearer to his. Ryan relished the situation. This was what he loved, the beginnings of something and the build up was almost better that what came after. You could never recreate the intense jolt of that first accidental touch, the first time when your bodies met, sending a myriad of feelings buzzing through you and leaving you wanting more. Taylor licked her lips and just seeing the tip of her tongue made him harder.

He took the opportunity and moved his hand off her shoulder and ran it down her arm. She shivered again but this time not from the chill in the air. Their lips finally met and they shared an innocent kiss, a mere prelude they both knew, but they were in no hurry. Taylor moved her hand so it rested on his thigh, she squeezed and it caused his libido to dance the fandango probably more than if she'd grabbed his cock. Ryan pulled back to catch his breath. They looked at each other. Taylor gave him the cutest smile, part cheerleader, part slut. His dick jumped in his pants and he launched himself at her, pulling her down off the rock and onto the sand. She complied and melted into his body. She opened her mouth to him and damn if Taylor couldn't kiss. He was crouching over her, resting his weight on his knuckles and knees, straddling her, not wanting to scare the shit out of her by going too fast, but she put her hands on his ass pulling him down on firmly on top of her. That now gave him carte blanche in his book and he rocked his hips freely into her. There was no way she wouldn't feel how hard he was now, he might as well use it to his advantage. The way Taylor was writhing under him she had no objections. For the first time since Marissa died he felt like he wanted to be with another woman and it felt so damn good.

He pulled Taylor's top down and sucked on a pale pink nipple. Okay, this was why he hated fooling around on the beach, sand from his hands had transferred itself onto her chest but even he couldn't bring himself to care that much, sand in the mouth was a small price to pay. One hand kneading her breast, he lifted his hips off her and with the other he undid her pants, sliding his hand inside her panties. Taylor lifted one of her legs from under him and crooked it around his back and that in itself was hot. He played with for a while, just ghosting he mound. They continued to kiss, alternating between soft and gentle to hard and biting.

He shifted his body to one side, resting his hip against the sand mainly to gain a better angle on the situation but partly to give him time to calm down. Ryan finally let his fingers encounter her slick wetness now she seemed to really want more if the way her hips kept tilting upwards, loving the way she gave little moans and sighs at his ministrations. When he thought she was fully ready he slid one finger deep inside her, then another. She was so delightfully into it that he scooted down and added his tongue into the equation, flicking and twirling the tip against her clit as he finger fucked her. Her cries melded in with the sounds further along the beach. The taste and smell of her was sending direct messages to his dick, it was one thing to fool around but he wasn't sure if the full Monty were on offer tonight. Not that he minded, he'd take whatever was on offer. It was as if Taylor read his mind, she tugged on his hair and he lifted his head questioningly. He climbed up her body and kissed her neck.

"You weren't enjoying that?" he asked, knowing damn well she had been.

She answered by stroking the back of his neck and giggling.

"Do you want? I mean shall we…if you want to?"

He lifted himself up to look at her. She sat up.

"Yeah…really?" He couldn't help but show by the inflection in his voice that he wanted nothing more.

"Mmmm…yes please."

Ryan laughed. Taylor often came across like an uptight Valley chic but tonight she'd blown that image out of the window. To hear her tentatively ask if he'd screw her was one of those things he'd never thought he'd hear.

He rolled off her and fished in his pocket for his wallet and the prized condom within. He placed it between his lips and reached around, pulling his jacket off Taylor's shoulders, it would have to do. He laid it on the sand with all the aplomb of Sir Walter Raleigh. Taylor pulled her pants and underwear off and laid down, her legs coyly crossed as she watched him unzip, push his pants down and sheath himself. He gave her stomach a tiny bit of attention, pushing his tongue into her belly button and kissing it's flat surface but he wasted no time in entering her. They were fucking outside and that kinda blew any finesse out the window. The situation definitely called for urgent haste…or maybe it could be down to the fact that he hadn't been laid for about six months and seriously, seriously needed this. Taylor didn't seem to mind and got straight into it with him, wrapping her legs high up on his back.

They fucked to the faint sounds of U2 drifting up the beach. Ryan let his mind empty and he only thought of the here and now. He poured all his recent frustrations into screwing Taylor. She panted and grabbed at his back, racking her short nails up underneath his shirt and into his skin as she came. She made enough noise to massage his ego without making it sound like he was fucking a banshee. She was one hell of a lay; there was none of the first time awkwardness that sometimes crept into your performance with Taylor.

He had no regrets as he came.

They dressed in silence, perfectly relaxed with each other. They brushed the sand off each other and made jokes as to which intimate areas sand still lurked in. As Ryan shook his jacket out he saw that Taylor was watching him.

"What?"

"You know something?" She smiled and looked excited. "Your speech has improved. You hardly faltered at all the past five minutes."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…maybe it's because you're relaxed at the moment and not trying so hard." She raised an eyebrow.

Ryan laughed and handed his jacket back to Taylor.

"So what you're saying is that the best cure for me is to screw you a lot? No complaints here. Maybe I should tell my therapist."

"Anytime you need any one to one therapy give me a call." She linked arms with him. "Lets get you home before you turn into a pumpkin or the Cohens will not be pleased with me."

They walked back up the beach towards the music and Taylor's car. The party was in full swing. Ryan hoped they could just breeze by everyone but this was Newport and people were always out for an opportunity to judge. Grant appeared in front of them, paralytic now and swaying.

"Dude…. did you just bang Taylor!" He spoke in a loud voice that carried over the music. Several people turned. "Jeez, dude…. it's fucking Taylor Townsend. The brain damage must be worse than they said for you to want to stick your dick in that!"

Ryan clenched his fists and stepped forward.

"Shut the f...f…fuck up."

"Ryan, no, it's okay." Taylor pulled on his arm trying to stop him.

Billy stumbled in a circle crowing to the growing crowd around him. Alcohol had made him as much of an ass as Grant.

"Whoa…. Atwood is all p…p…protective of the dog. Isn't that s…s…sweet?"

"Ryan, no." Taylor urged.

Ryan could feel the anger crash through his system. He stepped forward as Billy laughed at him. He got a strong sense of déjà vu that he'd been on this stretch of beach before, standing in front of Grant Norwich wanting to punch his face in. Déjà vu at the laughter and the music. His thoughts raced through his mind…the smell of salt and ozone was so strong, he could smell the lingering heat in the sand and the coffee he'd drunk over four hours ago on his own breath. A tingling sensation crept up his legs and arms. What the fuck was happening?

Taylor didn't want Ryan fighting…. especially not over her. She'd been the brunt of everyone's jokes at Harbor for years and she could handle it. It hurt but she'd heard worse than tonight. She just felt sorry for Ryan, he was a cool guy and sleeping with her had probably lowered him down several rungs of the popularity ladder. She tried to pull him away but he stood there staring at Billy and Grant as they taunted him over his stuttering. At first she thought he was just calling him out but the look of fierce intensity vanished from his face and he just looked confused.

She was still holding his hand when he fell to the floor and started violently shaking and jerking.

No one moved…everybody just stared.

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

**Title: **Heist.  
**Author:****cheekymice**.  
**Rating: **This chapter T+**  
Beta: ****melanie39**. Hugs and snogs Melly, as always**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.**  
Story: **As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay!!! All in the title really. Set post finale.**Notes:** Once again thanks for being so good at waiting for this. RL is a great white shark biting at my skinny arse at the mo. And a huge snuggle to **beachtree** for her invaluable help. :) 

Heist

_Chapter 13_

Taylor splashed water on her face with shaking hands. She pulled several paper towels from the dispenser on the wall and wiped her face.

The Cohens would be here soon and she'd have to face them. She wasn't sure she wanted to speak to them; she was still too shaken by what had happened. She supposed that she was hiding in the bathroom but the waiting room of Hoag was too nerve wracking. No one would tell her what was going on, as she wasn't family, and they kept asking for paperwork to be filled in but as she wasn't family she could only fill out the barest of details. Her nerves were shot.

This was not how she'd envisioned the night was going to end. She'd hoped for a good night kiss as she dropped Ryan off at his door, maybe even a vague arrangement for a date, they had had sex after all but this? No.

'Call an ambulance.'

Taylor quickly knelt down next to Ryan.

'Somebody call an ambulance now!' she shouted at the crowd around her again.

She tried to remember back to health class and first aid courses she'd attended; to anything that might help, but her mind was a blank. She just couldn't take her eyes off Ryan and she had never felt as useless in her life. There was no dramatic flailing of limbs like in the movies. Instead, Ryan shook and twitched like his body was hooked up to the mains. He looked so exposed and she wanted to shield him from all the eyes that were just drinking this in.

For once she didn't know what to do. A tall, dark haired guy appeared at her side and gently pushed her away. She stared at him blankly but he ignored her and took over. He moved several beer bottles that lay near Ryan, rolled onto his side and eased his head back slightly. He took his jacket off and placed it under Ryan's head.

'What's his name?' the guy asked. She'd dumbly replied, and he calmly talked to Ryan.

She could hear the bubble of conversations around them. People were excitedly talking about the robbery, elaborating on details that they couldn't have possibly known.

'What do we do now?' Taylor asked, her voice lost in the panic she felt.

'Nothing we can do but let him ride it out,' the guy replied. 'Has he had epilepsy long?'

She'd blinked at him.

'No…I mean… I don't think so.' She'd realized that she knew squat about Ryan really. Was this down to his recent head injuries or had Ryan always suffered from seizures and she'd just never known about it?

Ryan gradually stilled. The whole thing had lasted less than three minutes but to Taylor it could have been three hours. Ryan's eyes fluttered open for a second before they shut again. The guy lightly shook Ryan, calling his name, but all Ryan did was groan once and his eyes stayed shut. Now Taylor was panicking that he seemed to be unconscious.

'Is this normal?' she'd asked. The guy seemed to know what he was dealing with.

He'd given her a smile. 'Yeah…he'll be fine. Sometimes it just takes a while to get a response. The ambulance should be here soon to check him over. It looks scarier than it is. He'll probably not remember any of this. My sister has epilepsy…' he said, by way of an explanation.

Taylor reached out and brushed the sand off Ryan's face. Some of the partygoers were drifting off, bored now by the drama.

_ 'Ew…. rank…he's pissed himself.' _

Taylor caught the loudly whispered words of the ex-deputy social chair at Harbour, the salacious glee clear in her voice. Taylor heard a smattering of laughs and giggles. Some were embarrassed, like they didn't know how they should act given the present situation, but most were drunkenly mocking.

She felt mortified for Ryan and angry, angry that these people should see him when he was at his most vulnerable, angry enough to shout.

'Just go away… all of you…_just fuck off_ and go back to your _stupid_ party you bastards.'

Taylor didn't normally swear, her mother always told her that a lady never showed that side but she was so mad. She wondered why she'd ever wanted to belong to this group. She shouted again, scrub that, she screamed at them again and people started to walk away. Either embarrassed at her shouting or their own behavior, she didn't know which. Or maybe they moved simply to talk about how she was out of order or so they could gossip about her. She didn't even know she was crying until she was wiping the tears off her cheeks as the paramedics appeared on the beach. The kind guy spoke rapidly to them but Taylor couldn't really understand what he was saying.

Someone came up beside her. She didn't register who it was but a female voice told her it was going to be okay and an arm wrapped itself around her shoulders. Whoever it was she was grateful for the comfort right now. She watched numbly as the medics checked Ryan out. They fired questions at her. Taylor tried to explain the robbery and his injuries the best she could from what Seth had told her. They suddenly in her eyes seemed more concerned for Ryan and kept calling his name and looking into his eyes with a penlight. She asked if he was going to be okay but they didn't answer her. The guy joined her and held onto her trembling hand.

'Has he been drinking?' one of the medics asked.

Taylor admitted to half a bottle of beer. Was that bad? Should he have been drinking beer so soon after leaving hospital?

'His stats are holding. I'm not too worried about the lack of response, looks like classic tonic-clonic from the description given…but let's get a line in anyway… just in case.'

Taylor focussed on what the medics were saying to each other.

'Just in case of what?' she wanted to scream.

She'd gone in the ambulance with him, hoping and praying that he'd come around.

Halfway to Hoag he'd woken up, dazed and confused, combative and upset.

Taylor wished he'd stayed asleep.

He'd had another seizure as they'd tried to calm him down.

And now she was at the hospital, hiding from the Cohens.

* * *

"How could this happen? He was doing well." Kirsten paced around the hospital room.

"Honey, we _knew_ this was a possibility. We were warned about this when he was in the coma. No one knows how long he wasn't breathing for and if this is all he has to contend with then we have to think he was very lucky and not make a big thing of this. I'm not sure how much more Ryan can take and us falling apart is not going to help him." Sandy pulled Kirsten towards him.

"I know, but it's so unfair. Did you see his face? He couldn't remember the seizures but he knew we weren't being honest with him. He knows something is up and what with these tests they're doing, he's not stupid, Sandy."

"But why worry him if it's not epilepsy?" Sandy replied.

"But it is, isn't it? We all hoped the absence seizures he'd been getting were temporary but now he's had two grand mal…" Kirsten shuddered. "Sandy, we have to face this. Ryan has to face this. I knew we shouldn't have let him out on his own tonight."

"Hey, hey, we can't wrap him up forever, we discussed this with the doctors, they said to let him get back to normal as much as possible and that means letting him out of our sight."

"But he's only just come out of hospital." Kirsten sat down on the end of the bed.

"And you know better than anyone that you can't keep Ryan down. He's not like Seth who likes the attention and fuss." Sandy sat next to her.

'It's just…just hard to let go. We almost lost him, Sandy. He actually died for a time and I can't get that out of my head, and now this? I know that a lot of people live with epilepsy everyday but Ryan's had it hard all his life and to have this thrown at him when he still hasn't got over Marissa dying."

Sandy pulled her head onto his shoulder.

"It'll be okay." He wasn't sure what else to say.

The door opened and a cheery looking nurse pushed Ryan through into the room in a wheelchair. They both got up off his bed and stepped back as the nurse fussed around him getting him settled.

As soon as she left Ryan looked up at them both and he didn't look happy.

"I didn't just collapse did I?"

He asked but Sandy knew he wasn't expecting an answer. Ryan's hand went absently to his head and he scratched. He picked at something and pulled. He looked at whatever it was between his fingers.

"Why d..didn't you tell me, did you not think I would find out about this?"

Kirsten gave him a look that said 'I told you so.'

"Ryan, we…"

Ryan held up his hand.

"The EEG was a dead giveaway, they s..s..stuck all these electrodes to my head and kept f..f...flashing strobe lights and shit at me, asking me how I felt. So I guess I didn't just collapse, r..right?"

His hand was back in his hair picking out the medical cement from his scalp.

"So w..w..what…I'm epileptic n..n..n…now? F..f..ucking great."

"We don't know that yet, Ryan." Sandy reached out and placed his hand on Ryan's shoulder. Sandy winced at how the more worked up he got the worse his stuttering became.

"But I guess we will s..soon, that's what the tests were f..for right?"

Sandy nodded.

"I'm sorry kid…you know that this isn't the end of the world, if it is epilepsy you can control it with drugs, it can take a while but most people on the right meds are seizure free for years."

"But in the meantime, I just fit in front of my f..f..friends and strangers and become more of a social outcast than I am already. Great."

"Sweetie…."

"No K..k..k..irsten….I don't want t..to hear about how it'll be o..okay 'cause it's not. You know how cruel and insensitive people are…and in this town it's e..e..e..elevated it to a whole different level. Just when I thought I was fitting in."

Ryan gave a bitter laugh.

"We don't know anything yet, Ryan, lets not jump the gun until we all know what we're dealing with."

"But I have no memory of anything after Taylor and I…" Ryan blushed, he stopped talking and lay down on the bed. "I'm s..s..still tired. You both might as well g..go home."

"Ryan, we're here for you, no matter what the tests show."

"Except it's me who's going to have to live with this, Sandy, not you, and we know what the tests are going to show, don't we?"

Ryan rolled on his side and brought his knees up to his chest. He shut his eyes indicating that all discussions were now closed.

Sandy sighed. That was the most infuriating side to Ryan. Once he'd decided that a conversation was over, it was. He was not like Seth who could be coaxed with bribery. Ryan was stubborn and the more upset he was the more he shut off from everyone. Time was the only thing that helped when he was in this mood.

Sandy nodded to the door and Kirsten looked torn. Sandy raised his eyebrow at her and shook his head when she made to argue with Ryan.

"We'll be back in an hour, Ryan," she eventually said making sure that her meaning as clear. They might be giving him space but they were not going to let him fall back into his post Marissa shut down. Ryan gave no indication that he'd heard. She bent down and kissed his cheek as Sandy opened the door.

As soon as the door closed Ryan sat up.

He leant his head back against the wall.

He'd only just got used to the looks people gave him when he stumbled over his words, now if he had epilepsy then that was just another thing that would yet again set him apart from everyone else.

Great.

Ryan set about picking out the remaining clumps of concrete out of his hair.

Why the hell hadn't they just let him die in that bank vault?

**TBC**

Thanks for the rewiews…love ya all.


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Heist.  
Author: cheekymice.  
Rating: This chapter is PG13.  
Beta: mel39. Hugs and snogs Melly, as always  
Disclaimer: I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.  
Story: As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay!!! All in the title really. Set post finale.  
Notes: Ryan and Taylor will be getting it on in the next chapter so fear not all you smut bunnies.

**Heist 14**

"Cohen, you'd better have a damn good excuse for standing me up at the mall this morning. My arms are killing me." Summer dropped her bags in the hall and punched Seth on the arm.

"Ryan's back in hospital…" he said flatly.

"What? When? How?" Summer immediately enveloped her boyfriend in a hug.

"Last night, just after you left ,Taylor called us…. he…um…he had two bad seizures. We spent most of the night at the hospital watching him sleep. He was really out of it."

"He's going to be okay though?" Summer looked into Seth's eyes seeing the deep worry there. He sat down on the step.

"He's having loads of tests done today. They think it's epilepsy."

"Oh crap!" Summer exclaimed without thinking. She checked herself. "It's not so bad, right?"

Seth gave her a look that said 'just how bad do you want it to get?'.

"What I mean is it could have been a brain haemorrhage or something."

"I'm not sure Ryan's going to see it like that. I don't know if you've noticed but Ryan doesn't exactly like not being in complete control. When I left the hospital he was already pissed at being back in an ass freezer as he calls them. He's not going to be happy and we all know what that means. We had months of worry that he was going off his head after Marissa. Now this…this sucks."

"Well it's up to us to make sure that doesn't happen again, isn't it."

Summer got up and held her hand out to Seth.

Seth gave her a sad smile.

"Operation saving Private Ryan part deux…. got it."

* * *

The news was what they'd expected.

The EEG and MRI had sadly confirmed what they'd all suspected.

Sandy's heart sank as he saw the look of closed devastation on Ryan's face as the neurologist talked over his options, as he talked in detail about the drug therapy he wanted to start Ryan on. The doctor was speaking using the cold hard facts and even though Ryan was eighteen now and an adult, it didn't stop Sandy wishing that the doctor wasn't being so blunt.

Apparently getting the right combination of anti-seizure meds to suit each individual was still a case of trial and error. Kirsten squeezed Ryan's arm in a typically maternal gesture, her face full of concern, as the doctor explained that Ryan would probably feel some nasty side effects whilst they found out the right balance for him. Vomiting, confusion, disorientation, blurred vision, migraine, dizziness, insomnia, and tiredness…were just a few on a seemingly endless list. Sandy wasn't even sure that Ryan was listening to the doctor, he seemed shut off in his own private hell. The neurologist paused as if to let them absorb the information he'd just given but it hit Sandy that he was just waiting to drop the bomb onto Ryan's world completely.

"Mr Atwood, I'm afraid you'll have to turn over your driving licence."

Ryan's head shot up from the spot he'd been staring at on the wall.

"_What_?" Ryan's voice sounded incredulous.

"It should be temporary… until you're seizure free for at least six months. Then we'll review the situation again."

Sandy couldn't believe that he…they hadn't thought of it before. Of course it wouldn't be prudent for Ryan to drive whilst the threat of having another seizure loomed over his head. He thought that Ryan had looked bleak before but now he looked positively deflated. If his dignity had been hanging by a thread after his attack on the beach then that thread had been severed completely with the loss of his independence.

Sandy locked his eyes with his wife as the doctor shook hands with Ryan and left on his rounds.

They were all in for another rough ride with Ryan…yet again.

* * *

Seth, Summer and Taylor stood by the open door of the kitchen. Seth and Summer had stood there on and off for the best part of the week but Taylor was a new addition to the kitchen crisis talk-think tank. She'd been a regular phone caller to the house and she'd ranged from concerned, pissed and now she was just upset that Ryan hadn't returned any of her calls.

Ryan was so far stubbornly resisting their attempts to drag him back into the real world.

"Even mom and dad are having no luck. He comes in to eat and if we do manage to drag him indoors sans food he just sits mute in front of the TV before retreating back to his fortress of despair. He flipped when the 'rents bought him a new bike. Put a chair through the glass. I did warn them that it might have been a bit soon to remind him that would be his only mode of transport for the near future but they knew best."

They all stared at the closed blinds and the newly glazed panel.

"Do you think he's put an invisible force field around the pool house that repels everything within a five meter radius?" Seth added absently.

"We can't let him wallow in his own private pity party." Taylor crossed her arms and managed to look fierce. "What _does_ he do in there all day?"

"He just lies on his bed staring at the ceiling. I tried to talk with him last night because 'someone' was scared." Summer looked at Seth pointedly. "And all I got for my pains were several grunts and then he rushed into the bathroom to throw up." Summer winced.

"The drugs are seriously messing with his mojo at the moment and he's passing that forward by kicking everyone's ass that ventures into his inner sanctum. And I have good reason to avoid him. He actually threw a shoe at me and it hurt." Seth rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah, well, he won't return my calls. He won't see me. I think that trumps a Doc Martin in the back of the head."

"It really hurt, Taylor…I'm telling you Ryan could have a career with the Mets with that arm he's got on him."

Taylor looked sadly at the pool house. "I'll not let him do this to me…be another notch on his… bedpost"

"What?" Seth and Summer exclaimed at the same time, both staring at her with their mouths open.

"Did you and Ryan? You and…Ryan…when…. where…again did I say when?" Seth looked like a dog with a bone.

"And you're only telling me this now?" Summer looked from the closed door of the pool house to Taylor and back several times. "You had sex with Ryan!"

"Don't act so surprised. I'm not that hideous am I?" Summer noticed that despite her protestations, Taylor's expression said that she was still as shocked as they were. "Anyway…I think he's made it perfectly obvious that he regrets it."

Summer felt sorry for the girl in front of her. It was clear that she'd fallen head over heels for Ryan. She was also ready to tear Ryan's head off. No matter how bad he was feeling at the moment it didn't give him the right to play fast and loose with her friend's feelings, and Taylor had surprisingly become a very good friend since Marissa's death. Summer puffed her chest out and grabbed at Taylor's hand. She dragged the now nervous looking Taylor towards the pool house.

"Summer, it's okay…I mean…me and Ryan…it's not like it meant anything…I was just there…" she babbled.

Summer ignored her and rapped hard on the door.

"Atwood…open the door before_ I_ start breaking glass. You _do not_ want to ignore me right now."

"Summer…" Taylor pleaded.

Summer stood firm. Just as she was about to thump the door again it opened.

Ryan stood there with a scowl on his face but what struck Summer was how bad he looked. Ryan usually looked in the peek of physical health (not that she dwelt on his looks, she had a boyfriend thank you very much) but his face today had the greasy pallor of the terminally sick. He'd looked peaky when she'd tried to speak to him last night but today he quite frankly looked like ten pounds of crap in a five-pound sack. His face had a green tinge and a thin sheen of sweat pricked at his brow. She felt guilty now for disturbing him as he stood rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"What now?" he asked. Summer saw he was annoyed at being woken but the look changed to guilt as he saw Taylor.

"You two talk." Summer seized the moment and pushed Taylor through the door so she collided with Ryan. He immediately caught her as she stumbled. Summer gave an internal smile as Ryan's face softened as his arms circled Taylor's waist. Her mission here was done. She shut the door behind her and triumphantly returned to where Seth was hiding in the kitchen, probably scared that another boot was going to come his way.

"Come on you wuss…I think we need to let them be." She took his hand and led him through the kitchen and up the stairs. "And I think I need to have a talk with Captain Oats about your cowardice."

Okay so this was awkward. Being literally forced into Ryan's arms wasn't exactly how she'd pictured her next meeting with Ryan and she'd spent a lot of time thinking about it. Alot. She tried to pull away from Ryan but his arms stayed circled around her waist for longer than strictly necessary before he released her.

She pulled her hand back and pushed him further away from her.

"You…you… bastard." What was it with Ryan that he seemed to make her resort to swearing? "I didn't expect it from you…from most of the trust fund Harbor meat heads but not you. I mean, Seth told me that in Chino you had as much sexual subtly as Errol Flynn but to not bother to return my calls…" Taylor knew she was rambling like a mad woman but she was angry now he was in front of her. "I thought I was a friend. You couldn't even be bothered to give me the 'I think we should just stay friends' speech…"

Ryan stepped forward but didn't touch her.

"I'm sorry. I just…I didn't think you'd want to know me …after what happened. Look, I g…guess I don't want it to be an o…obligation thing. You are a friend, Taylor, and that's why I don't want you to be lumbered with me …oh s…shit, I don't know what I'm saying…everything is screwed up."

Taylor had heard enough lame break-up lines in her life to know that Ryan was actually being honest.

"Are you crazy? You think I'd only see you again as some sort of pity thing? You think I'd have sex with you again only out of some friend obligation?"

Taylor laughed at the thought. He looked so forlorn like he really thought that he was some sort of burden now.

"I had the best sex of my life with you. You gave me my very own From Here To Eternity moment. Do you think I'd walk away from that? Epilepsy be damned Ryan…I don't give a hell about that. You're Ryan Atwood, the guy most girls want to take a bounce on and I've snagged you."

"Snagged me?" Ryan raised his eyebrows.

Taylor suddenly felt stupid. That was until Ryan stepped forward again totally and deliciously invading her space. He picked up both her hands.

"Things are c...complicated…"

Oh, here it came. Now was time for the 'friends' speech. Taylor felt her heart sink.

"You don't have to do this, Ryan. I get it, okay."

He ignored her words. Typical man.

"As I was saying…things are c…complicated but I've been thinking a lot the past few days about you…us. Taylor, being with you…for the first time since Marissa died I felt alive. I felt good, you made me feel good. I'm not sure I'm r..r..ready for…hell I'm not sure about anything right now but I do know that I liked spending time with you and maybe if you want we could take things slow and see what happens."

Ryan was looking questioningly at her. She had a feeling that he was not used to making such grand speeches. Uncertainty was etched in his eyes.

Taylor didn't need any convincing to take whatever Ryan had to offer right now. She leant forward to kiss him but he turned away. Again her heart sank. Maybe she'd somehow misheard and misunderstood his words.

Ryan ran his finger down her cheek.

"The m...meds I'm taking make me nauseous. Umm…I've spent most of the evening b…bringing up bile. I wouldn't recommend kissing me now."

He brought his lips up against her forehead and kissed.

"I'm so happy I couldn't care less right now."

Ryan grimaced.

"I could." He tapped her nose. "We're in n...no hurry."

* * *

Taylor kept her breathing shallow, not wanting to disturb Ryan. Oh God, she was spooning with him, on his bed and Ryan was the little spoon hugging her hands to his chest as he slept.

They had spent the evening lying on the bed holding hands and talking. Ryan wasn't as open as the night on the beach but Taylor put that down to the fact that he was sick. It was clear that Ryan was feeling washed out by the anti-seizure medication and it was as much as he could do to stay awake. He _had_ shared with her that he felt angry that this had happened to him. He was even angrier that he'd lost his licence. He felt displaced…more so now that his future was so uncertain. He hadn't wanted to talk about Berkeley, it was too depressing he said. He'd spent most of his childhood thinking that college was a pipe dream and then that had all changed. Now he was right back where he started and he was beginning to think it was karma.

Taylor had noticed that the meds were making him appear stoned. His stuttering was worse, she had admitted to Ryan that she found it endearing and kind of cute. He'd looked at her like she was mad but she'd seen that he was relieved that she wasn't getting annoyed by his lapses and stuttering.

She also noticed that he swayed when he went to the mini fridge for sodas and he seemed vague…more so than he had that night on the beach. It had crossed her mind that he might have another seizure and she wondered if she would be more prepared for it now. She'd spent the best part of three days –when she hadn't been obsessing about why he wasn't returning her calls – reading everything she could on the internet about epilepsy. So many popular misconceptions had been swept away, all the things she'd thought she'd known were just old-fashioned myths. She'd learnt that you never put anything into a person's mouth, be it a wooden spoon for them to bite on or your fingers to check if they were swallowing the tongue. Taylor thought that the best thing to do would be to hold someone whilst they were having a seizure…not apparently. What had surprised her was the knowledge that there was no need for medical assistance for a seizure, unless the person had hurt himself or herself or if the seizure was longer than five minutes in duration. Taylor had read blogs from sufferers who were pissed and embarrassed by well-meaning strangers calling ambulances. Sleep was the best restorative.

She kept it to herself that she'd been doing research. Ryan didn't want to talk about his epilepsy unless it was in the vaguest terms.

Ryan had eventually fallen asleep and for the past hour she'd had her nose buried in his back breathing in the smell of warm man.

Mrs. Cohen had ducked her head around the door at some point. Taylor had felt embarrassed at being caught entwined with Ryan on his bed but she'd smiled and said that Ryan hadn't been sleeping well and it was nice to see him so dead to the world. Taylor felt a sense of pride that he had fallen asleep in her arms now.

As Kirsten had retreated Taylor had asked her to turn the lights off. It was the only way she could think of asking if it was okay if she stayed the night. Kirsten had smiled again and quietly said goodnight.

The room was plunged into darkness, only the light from the house illuminating and reflecting of the pool.

Taylor woke with a start, her heart beating fast as she tried to figure out where the hell she was and what had disturbed her.

It took her eyes a few seconds to adjust to the dark. It came to her…the pool house, spooning with Ryan.

The bed was making weird juddering movements and she figured that that was what had woken her.

She saw Ryan sat on the edge of the bed shaking violently but he wasn't having a seizure. He was shaking and rocking back and forth with his hands wrapped around his mid-section.

She reached over and placed her hand on his shoulder. He jumped and turned to her.

"_P….p..put the l…light o..o..on…please."_

It hit her…the problems he'd had sleeping, why he was so strung out. It was easy for them to forget the robbery against all the recent drama but obviously Ryan was having problems forgetting being locked in an airless, dark prison for hours.

He looked terrified and so lost.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading and thanks for the reviews. **


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Heist.Author: cheekymice.  
Rating: This chapter is T-M.  
Beta: mel39. Hugs and snogs Melly, as always  
Disclaimer: I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.  
Story: As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay!!! All in the title really. Set post finale.  
Notes: I hope you like and thanks for all you wonderful people who are still reading and reviewing.

**Heist 15**

_Chapter 15_

Seth was busy with Kirsten surfing the net. Now it was his job to make sure this end of things worked out. Sandy parked the car. He just hoped this would work.

It had taken a mini-Newpsie to shake them into action. And boy had she shaken them.

Taylor Townsend was a veritable whirlwind of frenetic energy and quite frankly she scared the hell out of him. One look at Seth's sleepy face and his wife's bemused one this morning it was clear to Sandy that she had the same effect on them. It could be easy to listen to her high -energy rambling and dismiss her as a neurotic flake but if you mentally pressed slow-mo and actually listened to what she said she had insight and maturity that was far beyond her years.

It was embarrassing that it had taken an eighteen year old girl to show them how wrong they were in handling Ryan as they had…a girl who Sandy would have said didn't know Ryan like they did. But maybe that was the problem. They thought they knew Ryan but did they really? They'd spent many days and nights talking over Ryan's problems but they had always stalled at what was truly best for him. He really was the most complex person. It was obvious that Taylor listened to what Ryan was saying but she also listened to what Ryan was not saying and maybe she'd cracked the code where they'd failed to.

They had been so focused on the physical side effects of Ryan's incarceration that they had neglected to think about the possible psychological ones. He'd felt so stupid when Taylor had impassionedly pleaded with them to do something about Ryan's fear of being in the dark before it consumed him. Sandy had looked at Kirsten and seen the same look that was probably showing on his face…abject dismay that they had not picked up on it before. Realization had dawned on Seth's face as well. The clues had been there but they'd been too stupid to see. The fact that they'd found Ryan asleep in Seth's room, subconsciously seeking help but getting none, had been an event so out of character it was glaring in its obviousness now that it had been spelt out for them. It was horrific to think that Ryan had been trying to deal with that on his own. Sandy couldn't imagine what it must have been like to be locked in a dark and airless room waiting to die.

He should have seen that Ryan was once again closing himself off from them and it was devastating. Sandy had to admit once again that he'd got it so wrong. He'd promised himself that things would be different this time. Added to that, Ryan was good at hiding the important things, that didn't excuse his own mistakes, not by a long shot but when was this kid ever going to be truthful when it came to himself?

Ryan was never going to open up. Ryan was just not conditioned that way…and Sandy could kick himself for not seeing that. Weakness meant failure to him and failure meant disappointment and if there was one thing he'd learnt it was that Ryan was so worried that everybody was going to just give up on him that Ryan figured he'd keep the bad stuff to himself.

Ryan took insecurity to a whole different level.

And Taylor was right. After three years he should know that about Ryan, and yet Ryan still managed to blind sight him. He was definitely a product of his environment growing up and it was too late to change him now. And it had taken a tongue lashing from a girl who had known him the least amount of time to show them the best way to help.

'I think Ryan craves the one thing you don't give him. …Your time.'

It seemed so simple. It was so true. As parents they had never actually spent quality time with him. Sandy had to rack his brain for the last time they spent the whole day with Ryan, or with Seth, to be honest. It depressed him when he realized, Christmas…and once a year was not good enough.

They could rectify that but first Sandy had to address something that couldn't be put off anymore.

An hour of constant talking by Taylor made Sandy breathless and also made him absolutely love the girl. Never in a million years would he have paired his uptight foster son with the firebrand in front of him but by the time Taylor Townsend had finished her verbal tongue- lashing and folded her arms they seemed a natural pairing.

As she walked away with her ponytail flicking, it came to him in a blinding flash just who she reminded him of and that made him secretly scared for Ryan…. she was just like his mother.

Good God, Ryan was dating a younger version of the Nana.

They both had the same forthright way of speaking and be damned who they might be offending, they were pushy, rude when they wanted to be but utterly loyal and when they had the bit between their teeth they were unstoppable. Sandy smiled. He had a feeling that Ryan would be in good hands for once. Here was a girl who would not need any rescuing or emotional support above and beyond what a normal relationship held.

Now they had to put her plan into action.

* * *

Ryan sat up in bed and wiped his face over his hand. He frowned as he looked down at himself and saw he was still fully clothed. That explained why he felt so hot and sweaty. His tee shirt was twisted around his body and one sock was missing. He yawned and looked around to see where Taylor had gone but the bathroom door was open and no sound was coming from within. Maybe she had gone home. Not that he was surprised; his breakdown last night must have shown her how much of a liability he was. No one would want to put up with that, especially since he'd overshared certain events from his childhood. Taylor had a quality about her that made him open up and that in itself was perplexing. She hadn't even batted an eye when he'd called her Marissa several times. He supposed it was a mild improvement that he knew he'd done it this time…progress, even if he didn't know why he was doing it as his brain had most definitely been saying 'Taylor' even if his mouth hadn't. Calling your new …girlfriend(?) by your ex's name was not good.

He sighed, lay back on the bed and reached over for the three bottles of tablets that now resided on his bedside table. He was in the process of shaking one of the little brown plastic tubs into his palm when the door opened. He looked up to see Taylor balancing a tray whilst she opened the door with her elbow. He shot up off the bed to help but Taylor firmly told him to sit back down.

"Toast, eggs, bagels, coffee and orange juice…Oh and a newspaper," she cheerfully called as she walked over to the bed. "And I want you to eat as much as you can. Kiki tells me that you haven't been eating properly, Ryan, and I can't have that, you need to keep your strength up if you want to get better and fight those meds."

Kiki? Ryan wondered when Taylor had started calling Kirsten Kiki.

Taylor placed the tray next to him, sat down and stared at him expectedly. Ryan realized that she was going to watch him eat and there was no way that he was going to persuade her otherwise.

He finished taking his meds, picked up his coffee and took a gulp to wash them down.

"Thanks Taylor…I don't think anyone h...has ever made m…me breakfast in bed before."

"Well, get used to it Signor, you are with Taylor now and I like to spoil my men."

Ryan smirked at her.

"I'm your man now?"

"Yes you are…and you are the first man I've spent the whole night with even…oh…oh…wait…. wait." Taylor flapped her arms and leapt up off the bed and flew out the door.

Ryan blinked at her retreating back. Being with Taylor was going to take some getting used to but he had to admit to it being quite refreshing not to wake up to tears and tantrums. She didn't seem to mind that they'd done nothing but talk or the fact that he'd fallen to sleep on her.

Taylor came flying back with her hand behind her back. Ryan took a bite out of a piece of toast and chewed.

"Shut your eyes." Taylor sat down again.

He obliged because again…it was Taylor and you did what she said. In the short time he'd known her he'd realized that in the long run it was easier.

"Voila."

Ryan opened his eyes and saw that she had placed a tiny vase with a red rose on the tray. He blushed.

"Um…thanks." He wasn't a roses kind of guy but he had to admit to being touched. Embarrassed, but touched.

Taylor beamed at him.

"Where is everybody?" Ryan asked, mainly to cover his embarrassment.

"Kiki is helping Seth with something and Sandy has gone out. I said that I'd keep you company. How are you feeling this morning?"

Ryan felt like laughing. Taylor seemed so at home here already. He thought about it and he did feel better…better than he had done yesterday but then he had only just taken his anti-seizure meds and it usually took about an hour for them to start making him really feel like shit but right now he felt good. He scooped some eggs up on his fork.

"I'm good. Thanks for b..being here last night…" He wasn't great at the whole boyfriend sharing thing and he hoped that she understood what he was really thanking her for.

"I wouldn't have missed last night for the world."

Ryan stopped chewing. So did she have a thing for men who freaked out and did a good impression of someone losing their mind?

"I have a feeling that you spend most of your time helping everyone else so I deem it an honor that I was able to be there for you."

She leant over and kissed him on the cheek then jumped up off the bed again. She made him dizzy with her energy but he was grateful that she didn't make a big thing of his behavior last night. She hadn't freaked, which was something. Instead she had held him and told him that he wasn't going insane but was probably experiencing post traumatic stress disorder from his experience in the bank. He'd snorted at that. It sounded like pure psycho babble B.S to him. But her calm words had helped him and eventually he'd fallen back to sleep, something which never usually happened after one of his dark 'episodes'. And she was still here the next morning so maybe he had misread her as a person? She seemed unconcerned that he was a fuck up. She was whistling in his bathroom, drawing him a bath.

_Whoa…re-wind…a bath?_

"Um…what are you doing Taylor?" he asked as he pushed the tray away. He got up and walked over to his bathroom.

"You are going to take a bath and I'm going to perform a relaxing Korean bathing ritual which will make you feel like a king."

"Huh…um that's n…not n…necessary Taylor…really. C..can I smell roses?" He looked at the steaming bath and the frothy foam forming on the surface.

"Kiki let me use her bath oil, it's Attar of Roses. It smells divine, doesn't it?"

"You t...told Kirsten that you were going to _b...bathe_ me?" He swallowed nervously.

"Oh yes. She said that you usually showered but I told her that once someone has had one of my special baths they never go back to showers."

Ryan wanted the ground to open up. Oh God. Taylor was going to be the death of him. He had the disturbing feeling that Taylor would, if she hadn't already, openly talk to Kirsten, and in all probability Sandy too, about the night they had had sex on the beach. He groaned and winced…at least they were used to him holing up in his room now so he wouldn't have to face them anytime soon.

"Chop chop…get undressed." Taylor said briskly.

"Um…Taylor." Ryan looked longingly at the lock on the bathroom door and tried to think of a way to get her on the other side of it.

Taylor pooh-poohed his attempt at modesty.

"Oh it's nothing I haven't seen before…although the beach was a little dark for a really good look." Taylor looked down and southwards.

Ryan almost covered his groin even though he was still dressed. Damn, she was…was…

"I didn't have you down as shy and may I say that you weren't so coy the other night. Come on, strip! That bath is getting cold."

Ryan sighed. Short of manhandling Taylor out of the room there was no way he was getting out of this. And she did have a point. She had already seen him naked but that was a different situation. What she hadn't seen was him naked in a brightly lit bathroom when he was quite frankly nervous because it seemed like the whole world knew he was having a bath. More importantly, he was quite chilled due to the air con.

He took a deep breath and pulled his tee shirt off then unzipped and stepped out of his jeans. Taylor was watching like he was a Chippendale giving her a private show and he had to admit that it was kind of flattering. He knew how he'd feel if the tables were turned and it was Taylor doing the stripping and decided that to hell with feeling embarrassed. Also the thought of Taylor stripping had made him less ashamed about dropping his shorts. Now he wasn't sporting wood but a certain amount of blood had headed south. He looked into Taylor's eyes as he stepped out of his underwear. She was unabashedly staring at his groin. Now it was his turn to enjoy as she looked up and blushed beet red when she saw that she'd been caught looking. Ryan didn't feel uncomfortable anymore. This is what he knew and suddenly the thought of a bath was not a bad one now. He turned and grabbed his toothbrush and squeezed a blue stripe onto the bristles. He could feel Taylor's eyes on his butt as he brushed. Hmm, so that was how you got Taylor to shut up! Him being naked had seemed to render her mute. He spat the minty foam into the sink and rinsed. He turned, leant forward and kissed her hard on the lips. Yes, being naked with Taylor in the bathroom was suddenly a very, very good idea. She got into it and ran her hands up and down his arms and back… then slapped him hard on the ass.

"Stop that…your bath is getting cold. In."

He reluctantly pulled away and stepped into the bath. It was hot and he had to ease himself down into the bubbles. Taylor rolled up her sleeves and picked up a little bottle off the side of the bath. He'd never seen it before and wondered if that also came care of Kirsten. He banished the thought quickly, he did not want to be thinking of her when he was thinking about pulling Taylor into the water and being rude.

"You know, if you're w...worried about getting your clothes wet you could always take them off," he suggested innocently.

"Behave…this is supposed to be therapy for you." Taylor tipped the bottle and poured a little into her hand. "Under the water."

Ryan frowned, wondering what she had in store for him, but he did it anyway. He held his nose and ducked under the water. He came up for air and wiped the bubbles off his face. The strong smell of lemon clashed with the smell of rose as Taylor leant over and worked the liquid soap into his hair. Her fingers worked his scalp with a deep and rhythmic hardness that turned his spine to Jell-O and made him shut his eyes in pleasure. He gripped the side of the bath as she worked her hands down his neck and onto his shoulders, massaging the soap into his skin as she worked the knots out of his muscles. Jesus, she had magic fingers. She spent a lot of time on his shoulders and he leant forward, bending his head towards his knees. He felt the tension ease from his body. Months of holding his muscles tight with the effort of trying to keep in control began to melt away under the ministrations of Taylor's hands. In the past girls had 'massaged' him but that was usually just a fun but weak fore runner to sex. Taylor however seemed to know exactly what she was doing, deep and hard, almost brutal, but it worked wonders.

"Good?" Taylor asked.

"Mmmm…" Ryan managed. "You know you can never stop, don't you?"

"The water will get cold," She laughed.

"Don't care…just keep doing what you're doing."

Half an hour later, Taylor was pleading cramp in her fingers so Ryan reluctantly told her that he was good even though he could have quite happily sat there for the rest of the day.

It felt very decadent to sit back and let Taylor sluice the soap from his body but he wasn't sure he was capable, he felt so relaxed. As Taylor poured the water down his back it hit him that for the first time in days he actually felt good. The nausea and dizziness had been banished along with the perpetual headache and he desperately wanted to cling onto that feeling for as long as possible before his meds kicked in.

He put down what he did next to not feeling like shit and having Taylor leaning over him in a way that meant he could totally see down her top. Before he knew it he'd reached up and pulled her in one fluid movement on top of him and into the bath. The water slopped over the side and Taylor made a show of squealing.

"Ryan… my clothes."

"We've got a dryer…but of course we'd have to think of something to do whilst you were waiting for them to dry," he growled, and planted little kisses along her jaw, his hands working their way up under her wet tank.

"We can't...can we?" Taylor said weakly but already she was kissing him back and melting into his body.

They only got out when there was more water on the floor than in the actual bathtub. They stood, dripping water on the floor, and laughed as they tried to get Taylor's wet clothes off. Her jeans stuck to her body like a second skin and Ryan had to tug downwards whilst Taylor held onto his shoulders. They dried each other off using big white fluffy towels.

Ryan had every intention of being a gent. He really did try and maneuvere Taylor over to his bed so he could show her what he could do in the right environment i.e. without having to contend with shifting sand, but most of all so he could check that the door was locked but things progressed way too quickly as they exited the bathroom.

Taylor managed to look innocent when she palmed his dick firmly as they paused to kiss en route, in the kitchen area. She squeezed and stroked, her tongue making its way into his ear and it was more than enough to impede his plan.

"Taylor…y…you've…_r…really_ g…gotta…. s…stop… doing that."

Ryan looked over at his bed but knew there wasn't a hope in hell of getting over to it. He was stuttering badly but he knew that on this occasion it was nothing to do with his fucked brain and more to do with trying to keep his body in control and sadly he knew he was losing. He lifted a giggling Taylor up onto the counter top and wasted no time in ducking back to the bathroom. He picked up a packet of indigestion tablets and opened it, pulling out a condom. He'd had to be inventive since Seth had found his previous hiding place.

They had sex right there in the kitchen and he didn't care that there was a nice comfortable bed across the room. The counter top was just the right height for Taylor to wrap her legs around his back and give him the perfect amount of thrust. He'd had to cover her mouth for fear that they could hear them over in the main house and that was one conversation he didn't want to have. They just seemed to fit together, they both wanted the same thing from sex and they both made sure they got it. It was refreshing to be in sync with a girl and he didn't think that that happened since Theresa. Certainly Marissa and himself had had to work at it and still there had been an awkwardness to their lovemaking, Ryan felt himself never quite believing that she was allowing him to have sex with her and she seemed to want more than he was willing to give emotionally but with Taylor it was what it was, good straight fucking. And she enjoyed it hence why his hand was over her mouth.

They nipped and bit at each other, she racked her nails down his back, dug them into his ass and he slammed hard into her, again and again until he could feel the tingle at the base of his spine and his balls retreating their surrender back into his body signalling that his body was going into overload.

He came with a jerking, shuddering release that made his knees weak. As he let his body take over he watched Taylor as she shut her eyes and bit her lip. He wondered if he'd peeked too soon for her but the throbbing, clenching vice around his dick told him otherwise.

They eventually made it onto the bed but the window had passed. She held him as the first wave of nausea hit. She kept him talking to distract him from the pounding in his head and the ache that swathed his bones. He didn't know how she did it but he talked about things he'd never talked about, his fear of being alone one of them. He told her that he pictured himself ending his days in a one-room apartment with no one knowing or caring that he'd died and only the smell telling people he had. He'd become invisible, he knew that would be his fault but it still scared him.

He just wanted to belong somewhere, to feel a part of something that wasn't dysfunctional like his family or always on the peripheral like he was with the Cohens.

He talked.

She listened.

Eventually he felt his eyes close.

* * *

Sandy felt bad about dragging Ryan away from Taylor and out of the pool house without an explanation but he wasn't going to let Ryan push them away anymore.

Waking the kid was hard now that Taylor had told them he hadn't been sleeping but she'd efficiently informed him that he'd been asleep for eleven hours of her visit and it would do him no harm to stay awake now until tonight to ensure he got back into a normal sleep pattern. It was scary how Taylor was so protective of Ryan in this short space of time and how she seemed to know what was best for him.

But how had they not noticed before that he wasn't sleeping? Sandy could kick himself for not realizing the extent of Ryan's problems.

Ryan's voice shook him from his thoughts.

"Sandy I…I don't f…feel too good. Can we save this t…trip for a…another time."

He didn't look well. Ryan sat with his head against the window staring at the car in front. Again Sandy felt bad but he hoped it would be worth it. They had an appointment and it was one that he was going to make sure Ryan was going to keep.

"Sorry kid. We're not going far but I think you need to do this."

Sandy could see him tense and he hated the fact that Ryan still did that when he was faced with the unknown. It was like he was always expecting the worst. Sandy gripped the wheel until his knuckles turned white. Just what the hell had this kid gone through growing up? Sandy had his suspicions and his knowledge as a PD with links to many people in Social Services helped him fill in the blanks. It was those blanks that he hoped one day Ryan would feel comfortable enough to fill…

But for now if he could give Ryan some perspective that might help him and show him the bigger picture then that would have to do. Ryan had to learn that he was a special kid because, according to Taylor, he still doubted that he had any great worth in this life.

* * *

They pulled up outside the hospital. Ryan looked at Sandy for some indication as to why they were here but he was still not giving any indication.

Ryan felt trapped.

He hated not being prepared and this trip was scaring him as much as it was intriguing him. As far as he was aware he had no appointments booked.

"Come on kid." Sandy said as he opened his car door.

Ryan opened his door and paused for a moment before he followed. Whatever Sandy had up his sleeve he might as well get it over with so he could go back to bed and pull the covers over his head.

**_TBC_**


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Heist.Author: cheekymice.  
Rating: This chapter is T-M.  
Beta: mel39. Hugs and snogs Melly, as always  
Disclaimer: I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.  
Story: As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay!!! All in the title really. Set post finale.  
Notes: I hope you like and thanks for all you wonderful people who are still reading and reviewing.

**Heist**

Chapter 16

When Sandy took him down the corridors that led to the wards and not the medical offices Ryan knew what this was about. He stopped dead in his tracks. It took Sandy half a corridor to realize he wasn't following anymore. He turned and looked at Ryan quizzically and made his way back.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he approached.

He wasn't, he didn't need this but Sandy was obviously on a mission and shifting him from his course was not going to happen.

"Um…I need to use the bathroom." He blurted.

Sandy frowned. "Sick?"

Ryan nodded. He was surprised to find that his delaying tactic was fast becoming true. He did feel sick, maybe not going to throw up sick but sick because he really didn't want to do this. Shit…why did Sandy spring this on him when he knew he wasn't comfortable in situations like this, especially when he was stuttering like a moron.

Sandy grabbed a member of staff and the nurse pointed them in the right direction. Ryan was thankful when Sandy decided to give him his space. He took his time splashing water on his face using the time to gather himself. Sandy's head around the door told him his time was up.

Sandy stopped outside a room and turned to him before he opened the door.

"I know your not going to like this but someone wants to thank you and they want to do it in person."

The guy had lost most of his heavy tan, his face had the pale tint of hospital pallor and he had lost weight about it but Ryan would have recognised him by what he was wearing. He seemed to have exchanged that garish Hawaiian shirt for an equally garish pair of green and yellow pyjamas. The cop from the robbery was sitting up in bed surrounded by cards, fruit and chocolates. Bingo…Ryan's guess was right on the money. Ryan desperately hoped this would be quick but Sandy had other plans.

"So…I'll leave you two to get acquainted." Sandy all but pushed him into the room. Ryan wondered if he was going to stand outside the door with his hands on the door handle to make sure he wasn't going to bolt. He was just thinking of doing just that when the cop held out his hand.

"Marco Gregotti…. Your face kid is a picture." Marco laughed. "Mr Cohen said you'd be happy to be anywhere but here but humor me will you."

Ryan lent forward and shook Marco's hand.

"Ryan, Ryan Atwood." He was shocked when Marco took his hand but instead of shaking he pulled Ryan in for a hug. It was an Italian masculine hug, damn near suffocated him and he got several thumps on his back for his pains.

"Kid, I can't thank you enough." Marco boomed in his ear as he released.

Ryan stumbled back.

"No p...problem…it was nothing." He muttered.

"Nothing…nothing. You're kidding me right? Sandy said you were modest but kid you really take a lack of ego to a new level. You freaking well saved my life kid…without you my wife would be a widow, I wouldn't be able to walk my daughter down the isle and I wouldn't have been around for the birth of my first grandchild…which my daughter named Ryan James by the way in honor."

Ryan felt himself blush.

"Trust me if I had my way instead of just me thanking you, you'd be mobbed by a couple of dozen people wanting to shake your hand but your lawyer advised against it." Marco winked.

"Remind me to thank my lawyer for that one." Ryan smiled. At least Sandy spared him from that.

"You haven't gotten off the hook though. When I get out of here my squad buddies are having a bar crawl in memory of my partner who didn't make it." Ryan saw the pain briefly flit across Marco's eyes. "And you are the guest of honour and don't even think about getting out of that one. You'll find yourself being dragged into the back of a police car and forcibly made to come. Seriously I…we'd love for you to join us in celebrating Buds life and my recently regained one."

Ryan blinked he didn't know that to say. "Um…I…I c…c…can't drink a…a…a…at the m…m….m...m…moment."

Shit, he could see the look of pity on the cops face as he stumbled to get the words out.

"So we'll wait until you can." He said simply. "Sit down kid."

Ryan didn't want to sit down, he wanted out of there but there was something about Marco, underneath the bonhomie was a hard ass not to be messed with. So he sat.

"How a…are you?" Ryan asked.

"I'm good. The bullet bounced around a bit, nicked my liver and I had to have surgery on my gut but I'm good, I'm out of here in a couple of days and back to work in a few weeks." Marco opened his bedside table and threw a can of soda Ryan's way.

"I know it doesn't seem like it but things will get better for you, you'll learn to live with epilepsy."

Ryan's head shot up from where he was opening his can.

"Sandy told me, he also told me that you're not coping well with the speech dysphasia and other side effects of your injuries. Don't think he was being indiscreet. I already knew most of it, joy of being a cop…you have access to information and I've been keeping my eyes and ears open concerning you. I was worried. He's worried about you ya know."

Marco paused as if to judge what Ryan thought of this information. He shrugged by way of answering. He didn't really care at this point who knew. It wasn't like no one noticed his speech or the way he still occasionally stared into space and had no knowledge for how long.

Marco swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up.

"It's strange to think we both officially died that day yet here we are. If it's any consolation the guy that locked you in that room and killed my partner is now being fed through a straw."

Ryan hadn't thought about what had happened to Saul after the raid and no… it didn't help. Marco stared at him intently. This guy seemed to want something from him.

"That day…I've been in some situations in my time but that was the first time I really thought it was over for me. I knew I was dying; there was no doubt in my mind. Then suddenly you were there and fuck although it hurt like hell when you pressed hard on my stomach, I knew that you were the only thing between me living and dying. I was so scared you'd listen to that scumbag when he told you to get away from me but you refused. I meant nothing to you yet you stayed and you didn't need to do that. You had nothing to gain from helping me you only put yourself at risk. I was out of it but that's the one clear thing I remember kid is thinking that you'd put some of the tough hostage negotiators on the force to shame. It was a bold move to push for the women too but it paid off. Can I ask… what made you fight so hard for us, you had nothing to gain?"

"I don't know…I just…it just happened I guess." Ryan didn't like where this was going. He certainly didn't want to talk about himself.

"I'm not buying that explanation. Tell me...I'm interested."

Ryan stared at the floor again. He'd develop a stoop he was doing that so often recently.

"I mean it…. talk… Sound me out I'm a unknown quantity so to speak." He sounded like he did really want to know."

Ryan kept his eyes down.

"I was just d…didn't like the way h…he was ordering everybody around."

"So you put your life in danger because didn't like being ordered around? Not quite buying that kid. My chief pushes me around on a daily basis but I don't go head to head with a gunman because of it." Marco shook his head. "That's not the full story is it?"

Ryan was starting to get annoyed, Marco was acting like the cop he was and Ryan felt like he was being interrogated in an interview room so he was surprised when he opened his mouth again.

"You r…really wants to know? I was…s…sick to death of being p…pushed around by assholes like that, it's happened all my life and I didn't want to take it anymore. I t…took it for y…years from my dad and then my moms boyfriends g…growing up and I just didn't give a s…s…shit about the consequences that d…day. I just w…wanted it to b…be over. You d…didn't deserve t…to die just b…because y…you were a cop and I wanted K…Kirsten out o…of there. That w…was it. I w…wasn't t…thinking…I just did w…what I thought w…was best."

Ryan could hear his voice getting strained

"Yeah…and it fucking s…sucks I've now got epilepsy and I now c…can't speak p…properly because of t…that day. I a…already wanted this year to end. Just as I t…thought t…things were g…g…getting better this happened. College is now o…out…I don't k…know what the h…hell I'm going to do w…ith my life. W…who's going t…to employ me w…when I can't string t….two words together w…without stuttering."

Ryan took a deep breath.

"And y…you want to k…know h…how that makes me f…feel? G…guilty…guilty t...that I feel so angry when I know that there are p…people w…who are far worse of than I am…guilty t…that I wish that they never revived me that day and guilty that I think t...that when there are p…people who are so p…p…pleased that they did. Every time I try a…a…and get m…my life back o…on track something f…f…fucks it up and I'm sick of it."

Ryan took a deep breath and a long drink of his grape soda.

"I don't suppose you have anything stronger." He looked up and gave Marco a weak smile. Shit he was really spilling his guts at the moment. He put it down to the drugs he was taking, they seemed to have lowered his shield and made him into Oliver Over-share.

"Sorry Ryan, my wife sadly confiscated my hip flask." Marco got up and put his robe on. If I know you though I've got something better. He tapped his pocket. "Shall we go for a walk?"

Ryan was expecting to see Sandy was sitting in the corridor but it was empty apart form a nurse.

"Just going for a walk." Marco said as they walked past, he winked at Ryan.

"Make sure your doctor doesn't catch you Mr Gregotti…you know how he feels about patients smoking." The nurse called out after them.

They found a quiet spot around by the dumpsters. A pile of crumpled butts on the floor told Ryan that this was the spot in the hospital to come to obviously. Marco took out a packet of Marlboros and offered one to Ryan. He took one gratefully and they smoked in silence for a time watching several pigeons in the distance peck at the ground.

"That's some pretty heavy baggage you've been carrying around Ryan." Marco's voice dragged Ryan focus away from the birds.

"It's just hard s…sometimes…" Ryan mumbled.

"Yeah…yeah it is. Some people float along in life and have nothing to really worry about but I can see from your eyes that you've had more the usual crappola thrown your way, from what Mr Cohen says you're a survivor but you've got to recognize that some things are bigger than you can cope with…the robbery was harder on us than I think most people realize." Marco took a long drag off his cigarette and gazed at the pigeons. "I have nightmares…bad nightmares. I'm begging you to stay with me but you don't…you leave and suddenly I'm all alone in that bank bleeding to death. I sit up and see my blood pouring outta me onto that marble floor and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I have that dream every single night and wake up sweating with my heart racing."

He went silent, only the sound of him blowing the smoke out of his lungs and the sound of a car backing into a space next to them.

Ryan knew what he was silently asking. He wasn't sure he was ready to share. So he didn't he continued to watch the birds as they squabbled over a worm.

"Don't bull shit a bull shitter. I see the same look in your eyes as I've seen in men in the squad… usually before they throw themselves of a bridge or swallow a gun. PTSD exists Ryan, it's very real and if you face it it's a whole lot easier."

"Jesus, I'm not suicidal!"

Ryan took a long hard drag on his cigarette; the sound of frizzling tobacco filled the air before he tossed the butt on the floor.

"I'm sure they weren't until they felt the wind in their hair." Marco looked at him. 'Listen kid, Sandy told me your not sleeping and I'm guessing that you are getting shitty flashbacks. That's normal…believe me. As a cop you relive the shit again and again but although it'll never go away you learn to cope but you need to open up to people. Why do you think cops use graveyard humor so much…to scare away the demons. We laugh about our fears and it makes them retreat. The guys who implode are the ones who hold it in and try to deal with it alone capesche? You don't need to do this alone from what I see…even though it goes again your pride."

Ryan signalled for another smoke and Marco threw him the packet.

"The dark. I c…can't take t…the dark anymore. I can't s…s…sleep a...at night even with t...the light on I freak. I've b…been snatching as m…much as I can d…during the day."

The pigeons flew off with a cacophony of flapping wings, startled by a car door slamming.

"I f…feel stupid you know, eighteen a…and s…scared of the dark. I c…can't breathe and I d…don't know….I d…don't know w…w…w…w…w…" Ryan balled his hands at his stuttering and tried again. "Fuck…I don't k...know where I am and I'm suffocating, I c…can't get any air into my l…lungs…and I'm alone like I'm t…the only p…person in t…the w…world."

The pigeons settled back on the ground again and resumed their pecking. After a pregnant pause Marco spoke.

"You know you can't totally use this to your advantage don't you? Just think about it, you just go to any bar and tell that tale and you'll have a ready supply of women lining up to cure you…you may not get over it but by Christ you'll get laid a lot. Women love a vulnerable and wounded man. Hell, my wife has told me that she's been shopping for silk lingerie and shit…been married for twenty three years and she's never brought lingerie."

Marco started chuckling and before Ryan knew it he was joining in. Not awkward laughter but honest to goodness belly laughter. Maybe he had a point. He obviously hadn't put off Taylor last night and this morning had been certainly very good for his ego.

"You might have something there." Ryan laughed and it felt like another heavy layer had been lifted off his body.

They walked back to Marco's room. Sandy was pacing and turned towards them as they approached. The look of 'where the hell have you been' was replaced with a smile as he took in the sight of Marco telling him a joke about a penguin and a hooker.

They said their goodbyes.

"Remember…when you're ready we got a date with many bars. I'm warning you though the night might end with you getting your eyebrows shaved and a trip to a strip joint." He called down the corridor after them.

Sandy's eyebrows shot up.

"Don't ask." He smiled enigmatically.

They sat in the car and Sandy paused before starting the engine.

"You seem brighter."

"Yeah…yeah I am. Thanks. Marco is…a…an interesting g…guy." Ryan smiled.

"Should I be worried about the strippers and shaved eyebrows?"

"Not as much as I should be." Ryan replied with a sense of amused trepidation.

Sandy drove to a beach side restaurant and parked.

"So what do you say to a spot of lunch, it's almost two and you have to take your meds." Sandy looked his way and caught the grimace he gave. "Sorry, I wish I could let you forget…"

"Yeah I know…no skipping doses."

Sandy ordered a steak and Ryan settled on a fairly safe bowl of chowder. He set about crumbling crackers into the steaming bowl as Sandy dug into his rib eye.

They ate in silence broken only by the odd comment or word. Ryan waited until speared his last asparagus stalk to say what he'd been thinking all lunchtime.

"I'm sorry I d…didn't a…a…automatically choose you…"

Sandy stopped with his fork half way to his mouth. He looked at the green wand on the end then placed it down on his plate and wiped his mouth on his serviette.

"Ryan…"

"I f…figured it was a…bout time w…we talked about i…it. I w…ant to try and e…explain."

**TBC**


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Heist.Author: cheekymice.  
Rating: This chapter is PG13/R  
Beta: melanie39. Hugs and snogs Melly, as always  
Disclaimer: I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.  
Story: As requested Hero! In peril Ryan! Yeay!!! All in the title really. Set post finale.  
Notes: Crikey, sorry for the long wait. spank me...hit the tag at the top for previous chapters. **  
**

**Heist**

_Chapter 17_

"Ryan, you don't need to explain anything."

"B…but I d…do Sandy…I do." Ryan locked eyes with Sandy. "I _n…need_ to."

"Okay, but not here." Sandy nodded at the waitress as she approached to clear their table.

Ryan found himself sat at the end of the pier. He smiled to himself that Sandy had unwittingly chosen the one place that Ryan found himself drawn to when he had things to work through.

"Here…." Sandy handed him a Starbucks cup and sat down next to him. Sandy blew into own his cup and took a tentative sip.

They sat in what anyone else would see as a comfortable silence but Ryan knew was Sandy for once taking a step back to let him breathe. He was grateful for the time it gave him to get his head around what he wanted to say again.

His coffee was bitter and hot; he was pleased to note that for the first time in weeks Sandy hadn't insisted on decaf.

"You were r…right Sandy. I d…didn't want to a…admit it at the time but you were right that day." He said it quietly and he could feel Sandy's eyes turn his way at his first word but Ryan kept his gaze out to sea. "But i…it was about more than just w…what happened to M…Marissa. I've a…always t…tried so hard to make th…things better but I've n…never managed to." Ryan took a sip from his coffee. " I couldn't s…save Marissa, I c…couldn't help my mom and I couldn't ch…change Trey...I'd tried so h…hard this summer to get b…back to a good place but I found it i…impossible to move on... I suppose Marco became m…more to me than just a shot cop, a stranger." He shrugged. "I don't know, here was s…someone who I maybe c…could help, he was there and n…needed me and I could do s…something, you know? When Saul asked me to choose b…between you two I w…wanted to so badly to choose you, believe me Sandy, I really did. You've done so m…much for me…more than I can even b…begin to repay, you've been m…more of a father to me than my own but w…when Saul put that gun to your head it wasn't that easy. I wish it could have been a…an easy decision but it wasn't. I had this dying g…guy b…begging me not to leave him, to help him and I had S…Seth and you l…looking at me like I w…was betraying e…everything you'd d…done for me."

"Ryan…" Sandy interjected.

"No…it's okay, Sandy, I get it, o…okay? It was natural for you both to f…feel that way but I'm t…trying to e…explain why I did what I did. What I'm trying to say is that I guess it was about more then w…what was going on in that bank that day. I thought th…that if I could save Marco then things would finally get b…better…you know? Like I could wipe the s…slate clean of all my previous f…fuck ups. What I'm trying to s…say is I'm sorry I put you th…through that…and if I could do things over, I'd d…. do them differently."

Only now that he'd finished did he look Sandy in the face. Sandy put his cup down on the decking.

"Did it help? Saving Marco?" he asked.

Ryan gave a wry smile. "No. N…not in the least. I learnt the v…valuable lesson that no m…matter what, y…you can't erase the m…mistakes of y…your past and there are no quick f…fixes in this life 'cause life r…really isn't that simple but it d…does help to know th…that I at least m…m…managed for once to ch…change something for the better."

"I'm sure Marco's family more than wholeheartedly agree, Ryan. And the decisions you made that day? When Saul pointed the gun at my head I must admit to being more than terrified but I was proud of you for standing up for what you knew was right. And you know I wouldn't want you to change your decisions because that's what makes you…well …'you' Ryan." Sandy gave a low chuckle. "Maybe the only thing I would change is your unique knack of putting yourself in danger at every turn."

Ryan picked at the corrugated cardboard clutch on his cup.

"I don't do it d…deliberately. It just h…happens that way."

"That's what I saw in you that day in juvenile hall, Ryan. You always seem to be thinking of someone before yourself. That day you were more concerned with Trey's situation than your own, that's what struck me first about you. I just wish you'd worry about yourself once in a while and maybe you wouldn't get yourself in these situations but I also know that I might be better off talking to a brick wall because you're not going to change."

Ryan let the flakes of cardboard flutter to the ground.

"Trey a…always said I was too stupid. Once, when we were kids, we were playing in an o…old derelict house. We found th…this big fat crow on the roof, it had the p…plastic from a four pack tangled around its leg and n…neck. Trey made me l…leave it alone but I c…couldn't forget it. I snuck o…out of the house after dinner. It was w…where we left it and it w…was still alive, God knows how. Anyway I p…picked it up and it started making this h…hissing noise and it struggled like h…hell. It was s…still so strong but I e…eventually m…managed to cut the plastic off with a penknife. It turned o…on me immediately, pecked me in the face and m…made me step b…back in fright. I fell off the roof! Luckily I landed on a flat r…roof below. I h...hurt my wrist and scraped d…down the side of my face. Trey said it served me right…that d…didn't I know crows were vicious fuc…um... bad t…tempered birds. But you know what? I'd have d…done it again."

The little leaves of paper at his feet were growing.

"Just to see that bird f…fly off into the sky, it was w…worth it. I i…identified so much w…with that bird, I don't mean to b…but I sometimes feel so trapped that I end up h…hurting the people who try and h…help me. I guess I'm still w…waiting to get the same f…feeling that I had when I saw that bird s…soar in the sky. I just want one d…day to feel f…free like that bird."

"One day you will Ryan, I promise." Sandy gripped Ryan's shoulder and squeezed. He took his hand away and picked up his cup again.

"I hope s…so." Ryan set about picking up the cardboard at his feet.

"Ryan, as we are being honest with each other I want to apologize."

Ryan looked up. "_Why_?"

He was puzzled, genuinely puzzled.

"I wish I'd protected you more that day. I should have done more."

"But there was _n…nothing_ you c…could have done. The guy h…had a gun."

Sandy shook his head.

"I let Saul lead you away. I should have done more…" Sandy shifted in his seat and he looked strangely guilty. "I hate myself for not doing more. The realization that I would have done more if it was Seth with a gun in his back makes me feel ill when I think about it. I did nothing. I shouted a few useless threats."

"B…but Sandy…"

"Let me finish, please. When we first met I told you we were cut from the same cloth but I wish I had the fraction of the same integrity you show. I brought you into our house and I made a promise to look after you as if you were my son but I've failed you…failed you so many times."

Ryan felt awkward at where this conversation was going. Sandy hadn't failed him, not really. Ryan had to interrupt. He looked Sandy in the eye.

"I wouldn't e…expect to be t…treated the same as Seth, Sandy, he is your son. I'm n…not and never will be." Sandy opened his mouth but Ryan stopped him. "As we are talking about w…what q…qualities we l…like about each other that is o…one of the things I respect most a…about you. Knowing th…that you'd do anything for Seth. You protected him in the bank because he is your s…son." Ryan sighed. "As horrible it is to face I think that m…my own father would have g…given me to Saul w...with no qualms if i…it meant s…saving his own skin. I just wish my own p…parents cared about me like y…you and Kirsten care for Seth b…but understand I would _never_ expect to be t…treated on the same f…footing as Seth."

"You should Ryan, you _should _expect it." Sandy said forcefully. Ryan wondered why for an intelligent man was Sandy not getting this.

"Sandy, believe me, w…when I say I love y…you and , but y…you can n…never replace my mom and d…dad even th…though I've w…wished many times you were my r…real parents. Genetics a…are a bitch but no one can d…deny that blood is thicker than w…water no matter how m…much sometimes we wish it weren't so and b…believe me I've th…thought about it many t…times. Just knowing th…that you've been worried a…about this is enough for me to get that you care. When I was in the v…vault I w…was so messed up it d…did play on my mind that you'd m…maybe forgotten about me but when I w…woke up in hospital it w…was you and Kirsten sat b…by my bed, n…not my parents and that m…meant more to me than anything."

Ryan tried to lighten the mood. "My p…parents would h…have gotten bored with waiting for me to w…wake up. In fact I would have g…. given them about f…four hours before they would have a…adjourned to the nearest bar."

Ryan made the joke but he knew there was more than a little truth in his words.

Sandy looked like he was choking up and Ryan had to admit to feeling fairly emotionally drained too. Sandy leant forward and hugged him and it felt good to hug him back. After three years it finally felt natural.

"I don't expect to ever b…be equal to Seth, it's unfair to h…him. And I don't want to get into a long dialogue about this now. You just being here is e…enough Sandy. That's all I've ever w…wanted, just someone to be there for me for once." Ryan breathed in the warm comforting scent of Sandy Cohen before he released him.

It was true what he'd said.

He never expected to be considered on a par with Seth. How could he be when they had only known each other three years? What he's always craved is just to belong.

* * *

"Mom, he's not going to want to spend three weeks on a beach. We might as well stay here. Plus I don't know if you've noticed but the sea is kind of synonymous with thinking for Ryan and we all know that too much thinking makes Ryan a broody boy. No, we've got to think out of the box."

Kirsten sighed and looked longingly at the page in front of her before closing the window.

"But we want Ryan to relax. Nothing relaxes you more than a complex that offers massage and spa treatments. That complex had an up to the minute gym. Ryan would have liked that," Kirsten argued.

"For gym read punch bags and punch bags equal angst."

"Okay…okay. So we've ruled out New York because Ryan doesn't like crowds, London because the girls are crazy, Germany because Ryan doesn't like sauerkraut, Africa because knowing Ryan's luck he'd get eaten by a lion. Seth, you're just not helping." Kirsten looked exasperated. "Everything I come up with you veto."

Seth looked wounded.

"Nothing has been right for Ryan and this is about Ryan, isn't it? We've got to find something he'd like. I can't see him buying into the papaya facemask and mud wrap combo, can you? And mom, a museum tour of London is not his thing, trust me on that one, and New York would totally bring out his badass Chino side. You know he'd end up in the middle of a gang fight or something if we took him to the Big Apple. We just haven't found the right place yet." Seth spun around on his chair and tented his fingers under his chin. "So what do we know about Ryan, apart from the fact that he likes his coffee black and has a fondness for cheesy eighties rock?"

"He likes physical exertion," Kirsten mused.

"Exactly, but you vetoed a flesh pot tour of Thailand. That would have been perfect. We know he loves Thai food and some nubile exotic asking if 'You wanna have big fun plenty' would have pleased Ryan's liking of physical exertion no end."

"Seth! You know full well I meant exercise." Kirsten blushed.

Seth grinned.

"I think Ryan sees it as part of a good workout."

"Seth!" Kirsten warned.

Seth put his hands in the air.

"So the search goes on."

Kirsten got up from the desk.

"We need a coffee and then we'll tackle this head on. It can't be that hard to find a perfect vacation destination."

"I've got it! Amsterdam! Dad can take his bong and we can get Ryan totally wasted." Seth punched the air and spun on his chair.

Kirsten shook her head as she walked to the door.

"No way, Seth."

"You're no fun, mother-dearest," he said to her retreating back.

Seth picked up a pen and started chewing the end thoughtfully. This task was proving to be difficult. Ryan was an enigma when it came to knowing what he truly liked, and choosing a vacation that was tailor made for him was like finding a chicken with teeth. So far they had discounted a trip to Japan, the home of Manga, a luxury beach holiday in the Caribbean and a golfing break in Scotland because this was not about them, this was about Ryan and what he'd like. But that was the thing. What the hell would Ryan like? It was a good plan, a family vacation; it was a chance to spend time together. And after the trials and tribulations of the last couple of years Taylor's suggestion seemed obvious in its simplicity. Seth was really excited about it. Now if they could only find the right vacation for Ryan.

Seth looked about his room as he spun.

Ryan wouldn't want to sit on his ass all day, his mom was right about the whole exercise thing. Ryan was always running along the beach or doing thousands of sit-ups or something that was way too energetic in his book. Seth swung his chair to face the computer screen and tapped the pen against his teeth. He threw the pen on his desk and tapped a few words in the search bar and pressed enter. On the fourth page he opened he suspected he'd hit the jackpot. He clicked further and read, a grin spreading itself over his face.

"_Mom_!" he shouted excitedly. "_Eu-freaking-reka_!"

* * *

"Arghhhhh, I think children are an impossibility for me now." Seth stretched his legs out in front of him. "My boys are well and truly bruised."

"This was your idea, Seth." Ryan laughed and poked at the fire.

"Son, you need to face it. Some people were meant to be up on a horse and you are not 'some people'." Sandy laughed.

"Mom, he's crushing my already shattered ego. What I can't figure is how Ryan manages to stay in the saddle and how he somehow still manages to look good. I know you did musicals in Chino but was there some sort of secret rodeo school training that we have yet to hear about?"

Kirsten laughed.

"Horse riding is easy as l…long as you listen to what the instructor tells you w…which you clearly didn't. What was it he said? Treat your horse like you would a lover and you'll be okay. All I c…can say is I feel damn sorry for Summer the way you r…ride Mabel."

"You see that's part of the problem. You get a cool horse called 'Diablo', I get a nag called 'Mabel'," Seth grumbled.

"We can swap if you want," Ryan said simply, winking at Kirsten as she stifled a laugh. Even in the glowing red light of the campfire Ryan could see Seth blanch. Ryan's sleek black horse was a good several hands taller than Seth's strawberry roan. Ryan's horse was also more spirited than Mabel, hence the name but Ryan had instantly taken to the horse and it to him. Ryan felt a natural infinity with the animal. She bit and had the tendency to kick anyone who was foolish enough to get too close to its hind legs but she was also fiercely loyal and Ryan loved the way she nuzzled his neck with her soft velvety nose and poured at the ground when she saw him. OK, so that was probably more to do with the pack of lifesavers she knew he kept in his pocket for her but still. She also pretty much hated Seth; she would flatten her ears close to her head and snap at him whenever he got too near. In short, Seth was terrified of Ryan's fast big black horse, which was nothing like the slow, gentle and plodding Mabel.

"Um, no, you're okay, buddy. Mabel would be upset if I ditched her now." Seth muttered, to the sound of his parents' laughter. He stood and started to collect the dishes that littered the floor around the fire.

"That has got to be a first, our son electing to do the dishes." Sandy chuckled.

Ryan got up too.

"I'm going to check the horses are bedded down for the night."

Sandy put his arm around Kirsten and pulled her close.

"Alone at last, my lovely wife...what do you think we should do?" He said it loudly enough for Seth to hear as he walked to the cabin.

"Please! Son still in hearing range" Seth made puking noises.

Ryan snickered and switched on his torch as he walked out of range of the fire. He still had to shake himself that they were actually here. So far this had been the best vacation of his life. They were staying at a dude ranch in the middle of Texas and Ryan loved it. They all did. The first week had been mainly spent learning to ride. Kirsten had the upper hand on the rest of them as she had spent a great deal of her early youth being passionate about ponies and of course Caleb had indulged her whim. She took to horseback riding like a duck to water. Sandy, the boy from the Bronx, was as equally like a fish out of water around horses as Ryan was and Seth basically wasn't comfortable with any animal unless it was plastic. That's what made it all the more surprising that it had been Seth who had chosen this trip. He'd even thrown himself into learning to ride with the rest of them even if he had to be given the novice horse to ride. After four days of coaching Ryan felt comfortable on top of a horse and there was something very peaceful about being able to forget everything and let your mind just drink in the scenery.

This was vacationing Cohen style. It made Ryan laugh that even though they were supposed to be roughing it, they still had someone preparing their meals for them and even now that they were on a week long trek, each evening they found everything ready for them. Each night there was a cabin with all mod cons, a fridge filled with food and a campfire built for them. All they had to do was strike a match and hang the crock-pot full of stew or chilli over the flames.

But the thing Ryan liked most about this vacation was that there was no shouting or screaming a la Atwood. Each evening they sat by the fire and talked, they laughed, told stories and they sang. It sounded lame but it was fun and it had made them all connect in a way that hey'd never done before. The night air and the glow from the fire made them all open up and they were closer for it.

It was the kind of life Ryan had dreamt about growing up and now he was older it was every bit as good as he'd imagined it would be.

Ryan hadn't slept so well in his life. He was becoming used to his medication and he was pleased that his speech was improving too. All of them were so tired from being in the saddle all day, they were all usually all in bed by ten. Well, Sandy and Kirsten usually slept in the cabin, with Seth and Ryan electing to sleep outside under the stars because, according to Seth, 'no child should have to listen to their parents' sex noises'.

Ryan saw the outline of the horses in the moonlight. Diablo whickered at his approach and cantered over to where he stood. Ryan leant against the fence and routed in his pocket for the mints he kept as a treat. The horse nudged and nipped his arm in anticipation. Cloud and Baron, Kirsten and Sandy's horses joined in the mêlée, knowing that mints were likely. Ryan gave them each one and stroked each of their noses. Mabel eventually ambled over and stood quietly. As the other horses trotted off back into the enclosure Mabel stayed and enjoyed being scratched behind her ears. The horse was so different to its current rider, Ryan felt sorry for Mabel. In the course of the day the poor horse's ears must suffer from fatigue because even though the views were stunning Seth still could not stay quiet for longer than thirty seconds. Ryan gave her two mints just because he felt she deserved it having to contend with Seth.

He also took the opportunity to have shifty cigarette. He was going to give up, he was…. maybe after this vacation. He watched the smoke drift up to the sky.

For the first time in a long time he was happy. Although the fallout from the heist was still causing him problems, things were gradually becoming manageable. And he found he could think about Marissa now without feeling the intense hollow ache in his chest. He could think of the good times he'd had with her along with the bad and be philosophical that at least he'd had three years with her.

He thought of the Taylor Townsend care package that he'd found on his bed the night before they'd left for their vacation and smiled. He also smiled at the memory of Taylor's smooth, silky thighs wrapped tightly around his hips, her fingernails digging into his back and the promise of more, so much more when he got home after three weeks away.

Ryan shut his eyes and listened.

The only sounds were the gentle rustle of the breeze through the trees, the sound of the horses and the distant hum of the Cohens talking.

His second Family.

This is what he wanted.

To feel that he belonged somewhere. To feel that he wasn't constantly swimming against the tide.

And for the first time in his life Ryan felt content.

**The End**

**There will be a prologue to this little tale...soon. **


	18. Chapter 18

Heist

The epilogue

Ryan handed a wedge of bills over to the cab driver and told him to keep the change. The change in the man's surly demeanour was instantaneous and he suddenly shouted after him to have a good night.

Ryan jogged up the front steps, managing to trip over his own feet when he reached the top. He stumbled but managed to right himself before he face planted. He gave the steps a filthy look as he smoothed down his shirt and rubbed each of his boots in turn against the back of his jeans. Satisfied he looked presentable he leant on the doorbell. After a minute of him standing squinting through the glass of the door a light came on and the door opened.

"Taaaylor." He stood upright. "Hi"

"You do know it's two thirty in the morning?" Taylor pulled her robe around her body.

"Oh…. it is? Did I w…wake you?"

"Yes you woke me but luckily for you once my mother takes her Mogadon and puts her eye shade on nothing wakes her bar an earthquake." Taylor stepped aside to let him pass. He knocked into her as he walked. "Are you drunk?" she asked, as the smell of stale beer and smoke radiated off his body.

Ryan held up his thumb and forefinger and narrowed them to an inch. "Maybe just a little bit." He smiled sheepishly.

"Oh, it was your night out with California's finest. I take from the look on your face that it was a roaring success."

Ryan wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against his body.

"Uh-huh." he mumbled into her neck as he nuzzled his lips behind her ear.

It had been a good night. No, scratch that. It had been a great night. After his vacation things had improved more than he'd hoped for. He'd had a mild seizure in Texas but instead of it sending everything spinning on its axis again it had actually cemented his determination that the epilepsy was not going to rule his life.

Taking his meds was becoming the norm to him and they were no longer making him feel like hell anymore. They still kicked his ass but it was something he was learning to cope with now.

His physical therapy was finally coming to an end, he was no longer getting names and dates muddled and his speech was almost back to normal now, he only really had problems if he was stressed or really tired now.

After his vacation he'd felt renewed, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and the night out with Marco signaled his return to the world and he was ready for it. He'd been fairly sensible and the couple of beers that his doctor grudgingly acquiesced to had become several bottles over the course of the evening. Unfortunately, because he hadn't drunk in so long and because he was on medication, the Coors hit him hard. He was certainly feeling no pain at the moment.

Being with Marco and half the force (or so it seemed) was a good move. His age was most definitely forgotten for the evening and no one dared ask for an i.d with the entourage he was trailing. It had been a fun night. Ryan had made over a hundred bucks playing several of the younger cops at pool, the older cops had caught early on that he was a shark and laughed behind their beers as Ryan played the age old game of losing and then surprisingly powering through to thrash them and clear out their wallets. It had reminded him of many past evenings spent in Chino with Trey and Arturo except he was sure this evening wouldn't end with a drunken fight. Marco had also made good on his word and they had ended the night at a strip club. Several lap dances later Ryan had to take his leave from his new friends with a promise that they would indeed do this again. And hence why Ryan was standing in Taylor's house in the early hours of the morning.

"So is this just a booty call, Mr Atwood?" Taylor laughed.

"You bet it is." Ryan said emphatically as he backed her up against the wall.

"Oh. My first ever!" she said between kisses. "But won't the Cohens be wondering where you are?"

"For once I have a c…cast iron alibi, a dozen cops holding my hand making sure I don't get into trouble." He laughed. "I told them not to wait up."

"So you didn't get into trouble, huh?" Taylor asked sternly as she reached up and turned his head. "So that isn't lipstick on your cheek?"

Ryan had the good grace to blush as he recalled the young stripper who'd bird-dogged him into the men's room at the behest, he suspected, of Marco. Ryan was just frantically trying to think of a suitable excuse to explain why he had 'Rouge Rebel' smeared across his cheek but Taylor started giggling and he realized that she was not making it an issue, rather she was delighting in making him squirm. He caught her bottom lip between his teeth re-igniting the flame in his groin. Ryan pushed his hands under the elastic of her pajamas letting his hands roam over the warm, silky skin of her ass.

"Oh I could have gotten into a lot of trouble but I realized that there was really only one woman I wanted." He'd obviously said the right thing because Taylor pulled him down the hallway into the den, kissing him as they went. She pushed him up against the closed door and was working on the opening of his jeans before he could even focus. Her nimble fingers pulled him free and her mouth was wrapped around his hardness in a flash. Her tongue and hand worked their relentless magic in tandem, as she bobbed and twisted her head and used just the right amount of spit to ensure her mouth slid up and down his cock with an ease that blew his mind. She paused and delicately wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. Looking up at him she regrouped before attacking the task at hand again. His balls tightened as she flicked her tongue up the sensitive underbelly of his dick, causing him to slam his head back hard against the door and groan with pleasure. He had to use every ounce of drunken self-control he possessed to make this last but Taylor's sultry tawny eyes staring up at him were certainly making his job difficult. Ever since Theresa let slip that when she dated a man she wasn't really into she sometimes fantasized that she was blowing someone else, well, it had made him more than a little paranoid, but the way Taylor looked at him it was clear that she wasn't thinking about a previous boyfriend or a film crush.

And as much as Ryan just wanted to let go with the building orgasm that was currently working its way up from his toes, he also wanted Taylor. He really, really wanted Taylor. The past two hours had been spent thinking of nothing else although that hadn't been a tall order considering he'd been focusing on the stacked blonde who'd been grinding at his groin and the series of desirable women sliding down poles. Ryan placed his hand on Taylor's shoulder and pushed her backwards as he knelt down and slowly crawled down her body. He unbuttoned the tiny pearl buttons on her pajama top, enjoying the strange juxtaposition between the childlike pink fluffy cow printed material and the way Taylor was breathing heavily whilst sucking her index finger as she watched.

He licked and sucked each of her nipples as she writhed underneath him. He teased each bud with his teeth as Taylor ran her fingers through his hair. He worked his way down her body pulling down her pajama bottoms as he went. He sucked and bit at the soft flesh of her thighs. She made impatient little mews that sent his dick throbbing. He kicked at his shoes and pushed his pants off with one hand. He sat up and pulled his shirt off over his head, Taylor hungrily pulled him down on top of her. He pushed himself into her in one quick fluid motion; she was so wet, felt so right to him. Soon they were fucking to the same frantic rhythm, Ryan praying that Mrs. Townsend didn't wake up and come to investigate the feral noises they were making. His knees were starting to hurt and he suspected that both he and Taylor would be sporting some impressive rug burns in the morning. Maybe Taylor was thinking the same thing because she sat up and told him that she wanted to be on top. He had no problem with that, no problem at all. They shifted, pushing clothes and boots out of the way.

Taylor bounced and ground her hips, leaving Ryan to do nothing but grip her hips and lose himself in the moment. Taylor's lips parted and she shut her eyes; he could feel her tighten around him, her cunt clenching as her muscles spasmed. The added pressure sent his world spinning and he came with a series of juddering spurts. After a pause they both started laughing. She got up and gathered their clothes up in her arms. She held her hand out to him and led him up the stairs into her room.

Ryan loved the relationship he had with Taylor.

He was also suspecting that he was falling for her…hard.

It was a good feeling.

"So please tell me Marco is not responsible for that rather large love bite you're now sporting on your neck?" Sandy asked innocently as Ryan sat down at the breakfast table and grabbed a bagel.

"Hey, man, I know he was grateful to you but…." Seth grinned.

Ryan's hand flew to the sore purple mark and covered it.

"I stayed at Taylor's last night." He mumbled, looking at Sandy and Seth as if they were crazy.

"So, we've all noticed you and Taylor are very cosy these days." Sandy waggled his eyebrows.

"Yeah, yeah we're good." Ryan answered.

"Ryyaaaan and Taylor up a tree k…i…s…s…i…n…g…" Seth started singing.

"Are you ten years old, Seth?" Ryan scoffed as Kirsten tried to hide a smile behind her teacup. Ryan gulped down his meds with a mouthful of orange juice.

"I'm off to the salt mines." Sandy got up and grabbed his brief case. "I'm still meeting you for lunch, Ryan?"

Ryan responded by raising his hand and nodding as he took a large chew out of his bagel.

Kirsten watched as Ryan punched Seth in the arm with a happy smile on his face. Seth continued to tease Ryan about Taylor.

"Seth!" she admonished, knowing damn well that he'd take no notice.

Since coming back from their vacation the atmosphere in the house had changed.

They were no longer four adults living under the same roof. It was like they had finally gelled as a family.

Sandy parked his car and hopped out. He was late. He looked around to see if he could see Ryan and saw him leaning against the wall of a bookshop watching the world go by. Sandy caught his eye and Ryan waved. Sandy crossed the road at a jog apologizing as he went.

"Sorry, sorry, I lost track of time." Sandy blustered, but Ryan seemed unconcerned.

"So what do you want for lunch?" Ryan asked. "Pizza, seafood or Mexican?"

"I could kill for a burrito right now but don't tell Kirsten. I'm supposed to be laying off."

"My lips are sealed." Ryan laughed as they walked towards 'Cilantro's, Sandy's burrito heaven of choice.

They talked easily as they ambled along the board walk. Sandy listened as Ryan talked about Berkeley. He'd deferred his starting for six months but was already halfway through the reading list they'd sent. Sandy felt that things were finally coming together for Ryan. He seemed more relaxed than he'd ever been, less closed off and for once he openly talked about his hopes and plans for the future.

Sandy had never felt more proud of someone in his life.

Ryan moved onto the topic of Taylor. By the look on his face it was clear he was smitten.

For once Sandy was content to listen, as there was no need to warn Ryan about getting in deep with this girl.

Sandy sidestepped a young lady who was more interested in her cell phone than looking where she was going. He looked up and noticed something up ahead he watched, keeping one ear open to what Ryan was saying. Two women were walking towards them but it wasn't them that Sandy was looking at. It was the two men who were walking closely behind; they were glancing at each other and taking much too much interest in the designer handbags casually thrown over the women's shoulders in his book.

As quick as a flash the men lurched forward and grabbed at the bags. Both women screeched but stood still clearly in shock as to what had just happened as the men ran off.

Ryan was already running.

Sandy was behind him but Ryan had youth and twenty odd years on his side.

Sandy should have guessed that Ryan had also noticed something was up. Ryan was the most observant person he knew and they were women…everyone knew that Ryan had an inbuilt savior alarm when it came to the ladies.

Sandy ran and was thankful he still surfed, his feet pounding the ground as they dodged bystanders and benches.

Ryan caught up first and barrelled into them both. One guy was knocked on the floor but the other turned and threw a punch at Ryan, catching him squarely on the jaw. The thief obviously expected Ryan to go down but Ryan stayed on his feet, the only indication he'd been hit was his head flying backwards. The look on the man's face was a picture…it said 'Oh shit'. Ryan obviously did not have a glass jaw.

Ryan gave his head a quick shake then snatched the purse out of the man's grasp whilst his other hand made a fist and flew. The guy on the floor was up on his feet and heading Ryan's way. Sandy waded in. People scattered, not knowing what was happening but also not wanting to get involved whatever, most carrying on walking. Sandy couldn't tell what was happening, a blur of arms and fists merged into one, but it sure was exhilarating.

The sounds of police sirens and clattering of feet broke up the party. For the first time in his life Sandy found himself being shoved up against a police car having his hands cuffed. He looked over to where the same thing was happening to Ryan and the other guys. Ryan had blood running out of his nose and a gash above his eye, a bruise already forming around his eye. He turned his head and winked at Sandy and smiled the smile of someone who knew that he wasn't in trouble this time.

It took less than five minutes for his and Ryan's cuffs to be removed. The police apologized and took witness statements.

Both women hugged them enthusiastically; Ryan even got kissed and blushed when the word 'hero' was bandied about. Sandy had to admit to rather enjoying the attention even though his knuckles hurt like a bitch.

By the time Sandy had finished with the cops he found Ryan sitting on the sidewalk with a medic attaching steri-strips over his eye. Sandy could already feel the bruises on his own face without looking in the mirror. He walked over and crouched down next to Ryan. He took a coin out of his pocket and flipped it.

Ryan looked at him curiously.

"Heads you tell Kirsten why we both look like we went head to head with Tyson…. tails I do."

Sandy's heart sunk when he lost.

Ryan patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"Bad luck!" he chuckled.

Sandy looked desperately at Ryan.

"Best out of three…"

Fin.


End file.
